Review: Can we have our football back yet?

This isn't a book for you if you like the way things are. On second thoughts, maybe it is. If you're waltzing along, whistling the Champions League theme tune, bedecked in your club colours, just on the way back from posting another cheque to SKY and thinking everything is just fine, maybe you need jolting from this reverie for everyone's benefit. 

This short but intense update to 2019's 'Can We Have Our Football Back?' by John Nicholson retreads a lot of the ground that book travelled, but with the looming spectre of Covid for company this time. 

It's no surprise to see familiar themes emerge like 

• The need for a morality in football and the (rarely questioned) immorality of such untrammeled financial waste
• The challenging of the myth that big clubs are 'good businesses' 
• An exploration of the problematic financial structures that threaten the game's future 
• Attacks on the way the game markets itself
• Criticism of the simplistic tribal view of the game that dominates how we think about the game
• VAR and its corrosive effect on the match going experience.

Where the piece works particularly well is exploring the notion that pay per view TV models actually *cost* the taxpayer in terms of lost health benefits of having sporting role models available to all. This is an argument Nicholson has made before but the brevity with which he makes it here strengthens rather than diminishes his claims. 

He's also very strong on the ludicrous exceptionalism of the Premier League, something more apparent than ever over the last 12 months as top level football has dressed up profit making as a publicly minded mental health service

This isn't a highly structured academic treatise. It's a powerful and honest diatribe and reads like it too. That shouldn't put you off. Nicholson has plenty to say on the structure of society and he says it with wit, punch and vivid images. Whilst it may at times appear to be a digressive read, he's essentially reminding us of the way football has moved from a sport of the people to becoming a cheerleader for the kind of nihilist consumerism of permanent, idealess, hopeless, boredom punctured only by the hollow thrill of buying things that the likes of Mark Fisher identify as the true identity of late western capitalism. 

There's few football writers you can say that about. He's also very accessible and does an excellent job of summarising financial complexity down to the simple measure of 'How many Joelintons does it cost?' 

There's plenty of good football writers about who use words very well, but few who refuse to pull their punches like Nicholson. I especially enjoyed his criticism of the wider football media and its complicity in marketing the Premier League. 

To finish, I'll add a digression of my own: I recently watched the new Adam Curtis documentary in which the film maker quotes David Graeber thus

“The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently”

What makes Nicholson important as a football writer is, he is one of the few who don't simply accept the status quo and work from there. 

He reminds us that football as it is now is a construct and his railing against that status quo is important in keeping that fact in our minds. Whether or not Nicholson has the answer in terms of how change can and will happen is moot. He's a refreshing antidote to the cynical mode of thinking which sees what is as all there ever can be and rejects any alternatives. 

What this work and its predecessor tells us is that football can be so much better, so much more accessible, enjoyable, socially beneficial and generally likable, if only we can work together to make it so. 

It's that simple. 

Links

---

John's own store https://t.co/w1MOHKViu0

Kindle https://t.co/l3UOFxVg9x

Amazon https://t.co/BUCdLD3YwU https://t.co/whiwpKiwGS

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More

Jimmy Husband's top knot

Paulo, pointing out some interesting truths... 

One of the most pleasurable things about lockdown has been watching James Husband's transformation from a generic looking young ex Premier League footballer to a mystical figure, possibly about to embark on a backpacking trek round India armed with only a map and a few packs of giant rizlas.

In a footballing sense, Husband has held off the challenge of fragile Luke Garbutt and kept hold of the left back berth. In terms of 'who looks most like an Italian defender from the mid 90s' Garbutt was way ahead at first, but Husband has come roaring back, first seeking to imitate Garbutt's alice band look, then going ahead of him with a top knot/beard combo that screams 'craft ale loving hipster' even on the less than crisp iFollow screen. 

Doubts about his hairstyle aside, I find it hard to fathom why Husband isn't more appreciated than he is. For Larry, he slogged his guts out. There were few players who gave more consistently wholehearted displays and more than once last year, I thought to myself 'Husband kept trying when it looked like others had given up' - He also got handed a bum deal, playing left back but also sort of playing left midfield at the same time in the weird lopsided formation Larry favoured for no apparent reason. Husband's efforts were perhaps best appreciated when anyone else tried to play that strange two positions at once role and looked shite doing so. 

This year, he got sent off twice early in the season, which frankly, wasn't the best contribution in the world, but the idea of playing him at centre half wasn't really drawn from the book of great managerial ideas either. Since then, Critch has worked out it might be a plan to play him at left back and a centre half at centre half and for the first time in his Pool career he's had the luxury of playing left back in a formation that actually makes sense. 

Husband in numbers: (rated against other League 1 players who've played ten or more games at left back) 

He currently ranks as the most difficult left back in the league to beat.

He has made the 4th most interceptions of any left back

His perceived weakness is against aerial balls, but he's 6th out of 20 left backs in terms of aerial challenges won. 
He has the 3rd least 'unsuccessful touches' of all left backs in the division. 

He's clearly not as strong in terms of attacking: 

His delivery of long balls is 8th (of 20 players) for accuracy 

His delivery of accurate short passes puts him 9th of 20
Where he falls down a bit is his crossing and he's ranked 19/20 in terms of accurate crossing. 

Looking at him as an individual is all fine but what sort of impact does he have on the team? 

Our record starting Husband at left back looks pretty good. 

P12 W8 D2 L2 

Compare this to fragile Luke's record (starts only) 

P6 W1 D1 L4 

Add in Demi Mitchell's record

P7 W2 D0 L5

Now, clearly, Garbutt or Mitchell aren't the only factor in the results above and Garbutt turned in some really good displays in the cup in particular, but the chatter that 'Husband isn't the sort of player that gets you promoted' is the sort of thing that you hear when browsing the tangerine twittersphere but looking at the record tells you something quite different. 

Here's a really simple stat: (starts and league games only) 

Points per game with Husband at left back: 2.17 
Points per game without Husband at left back: 0.77

It seems to me that what Husband brings is dependability, communication and work rate as well as simply being a really good tackler. He doesn't get as many crosses in as Garbutt but he does seem to work well with Kaikai who looks more comfortable with a defensively solid player behind him. He's a little vulnerable to a ball over his head, which is more a positional thing that his ability in the air, but all players have weaker parts of their game and we can't have it both ways, castigating him for a lack of attacking endeavour and then chiding him when he's simultaneously not slotted perfectly in at left back.  

You get promoted with good players, yes, but you also get promoted with hard work, leadership and endeavour and Husband epitomises those attributes and in recent games has shown some lovely touches going forward, suggesting finally getting to play as a plain and simple left back might be suiting him and developing his confidence. His earlier career stats (from the Championship) suggests he's actually better at running with the ball than this year illustrates and he's also never put as few crosses across or key passes through before either, so there's room for believing that he can offer a bit more going forward on top of his defensive solidity. 

The big question though, is what next for his hair? Dye? Shaven sides? White man's dreadlocks? Who knows... 

I think it's about time the lad (and his top knot) got some love.  

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More

Like we'd had someone sent off!: The Mighty vs Rochdale

Stanley Matthews' virtues are possibly a bit different from our Matthew's

I'm not old enough to have watched Stanley Matthews but from the cobbled together picture I have of him, a composite of florid, gushing descriptions, still photographs of him putting players on their backsides and the odd clip of him skinning a full back alive before popping the ball on to Morty's head, I've gathered he was pretty good at playing on the right wing.

Now, I don't want you to think I think badly of Matty Virtue. I really don't think badly of Matty at all. He definitely has, (if you'll forgive me), his virtues. I think it's fair comment to say though, that wor Matty has so far looked quite unlike Sir Stan. In fact, I can't think of many more players in the squad less likely to earn the title 'Wizard of Dribble' even if he sort of shares a name with the great man. 

I can think of at least 5 players I'd have selected ahead of Virtue. If you care, Grant Ward and Jordan Gabriel are more 'right wingery' in my opinion. You could play the latter in front of Turton. Sullay is actually right footed and you could pick Garbutt or Demi on the left and play Kaikai wide right if you wanted to. Still, Critch obviously values his workrate and who am I, a mere shite blogger, to question the impish one? 

---

Nice work between the newly top knotted Husband (presumably in competition with Garbutt for more than just the left back berth), Sullay, Yates and Gabriel is the first thing of note and it earns a corner. It comes to nothing. Then Sullay drifts inside, it looks like he's going to drive for the box but then he plays it wide for Husband. His low cross is turned behind for a corner. The dead ball is headed away but first impressions are that Rochdale will let us play which always suits us. 

Then Rochdale cause a scare. A lofted ball right down the middle catches Thorniley completely wrong footed. He realises what's happening, runs backwards, hopefully prods his head at it to no avail and the ball drops to a Dale man inside the box. Maxwell charges, the striker tries to lift it over him but the keeper stays tall and blocks it. 

Then a Sullay free kick from deep, Husband nods it into the mix. Thorniley lashes it. It hits a body. Dougall lashes it, it draws a great stop, Thorniley lashes the rebound and a diving defender turns it over the top... From the corner, Thorniley flicks on, Yates taps home but the flag is up... 

Sullay get flicked a pass around the halfway line. He knocks it first time on the half volley, it's a beautiful ball, Yates gets to it but just can't touch it on to Ellis Simms. 

Then... Husband swings a cross. It's too deep, but here's the wing wizard Virtue, battling as he does, twisting and leaping, turning a loopy overhit cross into a chance by fighting to the last and nodding it back. It drops for Sullay, who takes a touch and the hits it low, hard and right down the middle through a crowd. 1-0 Pool! Take that Sullay HATERZ. 

Ekpiteta plays a terrible ball out, Dale charge through. Marvin gets back and makes what looks to me like a great challenge but the ref deems it a foul. From the free kick, Dale hit a dipping shot Maxwell does well turn over the top. Marvin's error is contagious as Thorniley concede a needless free kick. Husband air kicks a clearance in his own box and Pool look generally a bit scrappy for a few minutes. 

Jimmy Husband starts a move by accidentally doing a Cruyff turn, taking a poor touch, stretching to keep it in play, then spinning, finding himself in space and haring down the left - the move goes through about 15 passess and ends with a curling Yates effort that is turned away by a diving header. Next, Simms holds it up well and Pool storm forward but both Dougall and Gabriel can't find a shot to to finish the move off. Then it's Sullay feeding another lovely ball that Simms explodes on to, surging into the box, then drilling it low back across goal. Again, there's everything but the finish. Now Sullay comes deep, takes the ball nicely and then, quick as a flash almost slips Simms in again with a back heel. Pool are really on top and the second goal is in the air... 

A free kick to the far post is headed up. Marvin goes after it and it looks for all the world like he gets shoved in the back with two hands. Nothing doing. Then poor ol' Marvin gets a wallop on the head and a very fetching headband. At least that'll help Chissy spot him. 

Dale have a bit of play but can't make a chance. Pool make one last attack. A terrific Stewart challenge, sliding in and then getting to his feet and receiving the ball back from Yates, slipping it to Sullay who goes wide and lifts it to the far post, where Yates nods down and wide. 

---

Simms isn't the goal machine, but he's led the line well and his mobile nature really suits the way Sullay likes to play, looking to drift inside and thread through balls. Sullay has been lively and looked much more himself, some of his passing has been a particular joy Stewart has dropped deep, always ready to take possession. Colin Greenall on commentary absolutely *hearts* him to the point where I'm wondering if he might propose marriage at full time... Dougall has ratted, picking up the bits and pieces. Pool have been absolutely dominant, largely because we've broken play down so well but the natural concern is we're not out of sight.

We've just lacked the calmness in the box to make the most of the chances and arguably, the balance to overwhelm them. Full credit to Virtue for his part in the goal and his work in keeping Dale quiet, but you feel with CJ out wide, we'd be 3 up by now. We've been absolutely dominant and cliche demands I say something about hoping we won't regret not getting at least one more... 

---

It's Kaikai and Simms again setting up the first chance. Yates tackles well in deep position, Sullay takes over and bursts through, threading it to Simms who is brought down. Sullay steps up and strikes a lovely free kick off the outside of the post from the left hand side of the box... 

Rochdale have a nice spell and win a free kick when chopper Kaikai has had enough of the neat passing. They make nothing of it but it's a reminder that Dale have goals in them. 

Stewart hits a lovely first time volleyed pass from the middle of his own half, that just gets cut out before Simms can race through. Dale immediately retort with a long ball of their own that bisects the centre halves. Fortunately the Dale forward's touch is horrible and he ends up stumbling after the ball, following it past the far post... Unfortunately though, Marvin has done his hamstring running after him which means Jimmy Husband moving to red card central and fragile Luke Garbutt coming on. On the upside, it improves the quality of the tangerine hair. On the downside, Marvin is a footballing god and now he's crocked... Fuck's sake football!  

The game is less comfortable watching now. Dale have much more possession. They win a corner, then a free kick level with the right hand corner of the box. Pool look hurried in response. Several times Virtue's tenacity is notable. Once winning an aerial battle in midfield, then tackling back and stopping a promising move in the right hand corner. Then he bursts through, spreads it for Yates, who tries to hit him as he darts towards near post. 

Dale are definitely in charge. They work a clever free kick routine that doesn't quite come off. They keep picking it up and coming at us. Maxwell is nursing a dicey hand as well he earned punching Thorniley in the back of the head. Dale are bringing on subs (I don't like it when the opposition bring on subs) and then they're winning a free kick right on the goal line that skims a head before going out for a goal kick... 

Critch makes a sub. Grant Ward coming on for Kenny Dougall. I'm a bit surprised by that. I wonder if Virtue is going to come inside and Ward sit on the right. A scintillating bit of passing between Kaikai, Ward and Gabriel offers momentary respite from the anxiety but Dale are soon back to forcing Pool to hack it away wildly. A free kick is nodded back across goal and headed away at full stretch. Then Dale get down the right, Garbutt getting caught wrong side of the ball and their winger races away before pulling it back, they've got three men charging forward, but one fortunately for Pool, the one it falls too screws his header wide. A let off. 

Dale win another corner. How can one centre half going off have such an impact on the team. He had next to nothing to do in the first half! Husband heads away from the corner. 

Pool finally have another shot. Thorniley lifting a free kick to the back of the box. Simms winning it, nodding down to Virtue who knocks it for Stewart to lash over quite a long way the top. Pool have some possession on the right for a few minutes. Chissy drops in the delightful image of 'Matty Virtue breathing out of all port holes' I wonder if he said 'port holes' or 'all four holes' and decide to stop wondering about that as the imagery is distressing either way I interpret it. 

Dale come again and it's defensive maestro Kaikai making a sliding challenge to block the ball out for a corner. From the corner, the excellent Husband head away but then a Dale man returns the header quite brilliantly, looping it past Maxwell into the top corner. A whistle has has blown though... 

Pool are at least now getting some joy on the counter attack. Yates twice galloping away, first playing in Sullay with a pass that is half a yard too heavy, then finding Grant Ward who indulges in what modern football calls 'game management' by eschewing the chance to run on goal and have a shot, instead, just stopping dead and strolling sideways, playing a simple square ball to keep things nice and safe and calm, signifying that Pool are ready to try and run the clock down. 

Five minutes of injury time is shown. Pool ride the first few minutes easily enough, until Dale win a corner. The keeper is up! Who doesn't love it when the keeper comes up! It's swung in right under the bar in a heart stopping fashion, but Maxwell gets a punch on it and when the ball is hooked back in it's offside. 

There's still time for game management's Grant Ward who was earlier calmness personified, to get into a bit of a ruck over a tackle by the corner flag, which is a bit of bonus fun. Pool win a very late corner but only have to hold the ball for a few seconds before the whistle blows. 

Thank fuck for that! 

Critch looks very relieved as he wanders out from the dugout, applauding and then commiserating for ages with Dale's Matty Lund. (I presume they know each other from Crewe) - we're up to the dizzying heights of 14th! Send Mike out for some lagers! 

--- 

As I wondered above, how can changing the centre half change the game so much? I think the difference in the two halves is symbolised by Stewart. In the first, he looked absolutely dominant, his timing in the tackle perfect, his use of space exemplary. In the second, he looked to be chasing the game, to be sliding in too late, to be making the challenge but the ball bouncing away from him. Something similar could be said about Simms who didn't really rise to the challenge of hold up play second half. 

It has to be said that for all Dale's pressure in the second half, they haven't really got that close to a goal and the defence needs credit for that. We've got through 40 Marvin-less minutes but there's really got to be some collective prayers to the football gods that Dan Ballard is fit as I don't fancy Jimmy and Jordan as the regular duo. 

After such fulsome praise at half time, there was really little to get excited about in the second half beyond defensive work. Yates ran hard up front and was the nearest to making something happen. Sullay vanished as an attacking force after hitting the post and no one else in midfield could get the ball down and play at all. Virtue battled his arse off but the fact I'm picking that out that sums up the second half in comparison to the first. It was odd. It was almost as if we'd had a man sent off rather than making a sub. 

Anyway, whatever it was like, we won! 

utmp 

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More

Halfway report: Part 2 - the defence

A bit good

It's bloody cold and there's no football. Other football doesn't have any real appeal to me and the test match is over for the day so it's time for STAT ATTACK part 2 in which I adopt the tone of a real football journalist and substitute actual observation for telling you some numbers you could read for yourself.

Part 1 of this possibly not to ever be repeated exercise in dullness concerns the attack. The conclusion from it is inescapable. We aren't very good at attacking unless we play 2 upfront, we don't dribble very much, we miss CJ and even an out of sorts Sullay is more creative than most of the other players. The defensive stats should make better reading though, as even without looking at them, it's obvious that we've built quite a solid team. I was critical of the midfield and the lack of penetration it offers in part 1, but the converse of this, is it protects what is already a pretty useful defence and a decent keeper pretty well. 

So. Strap yourself in number fans and let's take a look at Pool's defensive qualities from the first half of the season. 

Stats refer to league games only and divisional positions are correct prior to games played on Sat 13th February 

4-4-2 is not just about scoring goals. 

442: P10 W6 D2 L2  G18 A7 (Pts 20) (2ppg)

433: P11 W3 D1 L7 G7 A18 (pts 10 (0.91ppg) 

other: P3 W1 D1 L1 G3 A4 (pts 4 (1.33ppg) 

As you can see - we've conceded 0.7 goals per game playing 4-4-2 and 1.57 goals per game playing other systems. This suggests to some extent, attack is a good form of defence... 

Team Stats

We've got the 8th best defensive record in the league having conceded 26 goals. That stat requires a small caveat, that we've played the joint least games in the league and we drop to 9th best in terms of goals conceded per game 

How do we concede goals? 

We're very good at defending against the counter attack, having conceded no goals in this manner. 
We've got the 11th best record against set pieces in the division (7 goals conceded) 
We're the 6th best defence in open play (15 goals conceded) 
We've conceded 3 penalties (which makes us joint 13th in this metric, however only 3 sides have conceded more)
We've also scored 1 own goal (11 sides have none, 3 sides have more including Portsmouth who've scored an incredible 4!) 

How do we get attacked? 

We're very good at stopping crosses. We face an average of 16 pg which makes us 3rd best in the league at shutting down attacks from wide. 

Interestingly, we've faced the second highest number of long balls (an average of 81 per game) - I'm not sure what this stat means but I wonder if it's because our midfield is quite combative and difficult to play through so teams don't bother trying? 

In terms of stopping opponents, we've faced the 9th least short passes which does add a little weight to the idea that teams don't try work through our pressing in midfield so much as go over the top of it. Perhaps the work of someone like Jerry Yates also prevents teams from passing at the back (though as we'll see later, our forwards have unremarkable records in winning possession for themselves)

We also spend the joint least time per game (25%) in our own third of the pitch which basically means, we defend less than everyone else in the division. 

With the above in mind, it also makes sense that we concede the 4th least number of shots in the division (9.7 p/g)

How do we defend? 

We make the 10th most tackles per game (we'll look below at who and where the tacklers are) 
We're also 10th in terms of interceptions per game. 

We've got the 2nd best defence in terms of not being dribbled past

We foul slightly more than we're fouled (12.8 vs 13.7) and have the 11th highest number of fouls conceded in the division (for balance, we're the 10th most fouled against side) 

Our record in aerial duels puts us 9th best in terms of winning them (note, this stat is rated as an 'offensive' stat but appears to include all kinds of aerial duels, not just those that happen in the offensive third) 

Individual defensive performances: 

So, who is contributing to our relative defensive stability? I'll analyse the work of individual defenders and the midfield whilst also look where relevant at how the work rate all over the pitch plays a part. 

Individuals: Aerial duels: 

We do look like quite a big side when we've got everyone fit now. Below we show who are the dominant players in the air and their rank against all the players in the division who have played a qualifying number of games. 

Gary Madine 5.5 (7th) 

Marvin Ekpiteta 4.1 (30th) 
Ollie Turton 1.6 (126th)

This suggests only part of the picture. If we factor in all players (including those who've played a small number of games) we see a very different story: 

Michael Nottingham (Blackpool appearances only) 6.7 (7th) 

Jordan Thorniley 6.1 (9th)

Gary Madine 5.5 (18th)

Dan Ballard 5.3 (25th)

Marvin Ekpiteta 4.1 (54th)
Daniel Gettarsson 3.9 (67th)

This wider cohort of players illustrates how Dan Ballard gives us much more aerial presence and somewhat surprisingly counters the belief that Jordan Thorniley is weak in the air because of his relatively petite build. 

Individuals: tackles. 

The result won't surprise anyone...  

Kenny Dougall: 3.2 (3rd)
Ethan Robson: 1.6 (66th)
Ollie Turton: 1.4 (100th) 

If we factor in the players with just a few appearances, surprisingly Elliot Embleton has the highest tackles per game ratio of all of our squad, with Kevin Stewart also edging out Kenny Dougall. 

Individuals: Interceptions

Ethan Robson: 1.6 (30th)

Marvin Ekpiteta: 1.3 (50th)
Ollie Turton 1.3 (59th)

Kenny Dougall 1.3 (62nd)

James Husband 1.1 (98th)

Adding in the players with fewer appearances again reveals some interesting stats. Daniel Gretarsson is praised for his positioning and the stats back this up. His record of 3.1 interceptions per game is by a long way the best record in the squad and by a fair margin the best in the division of any player in any position. Dan Ballard also excels here, with 2.1 per game and again, Jordan Thorniley comes out well as the third best interceptor in the squad with 1.7 per game. 

Individuals versus dribbling

Who are our best players when the opposition run at us? 

This is a difficult stat to work out, as obviously, some players face less dribbles than others... (hence, Super Gaz winning this one, is a bit of pyrrhic victory for him as he only attempts half a tackle per game...)

Gary Madine: 0.1 (42nd)

Marvin Ekpiteta: 0.1 (54th)
Keshi Andersson: 0.1 (68th)

James Husband: 0.2 (91st)

Jimmy Husband may seem unimpressive at 91st but he is the best left back (who has played the requisite number of games) in the division at stopping players going past him. Ollie Turton comes in 4th of all right backs using the same metrics. 

Which of our players get beaten most often? The answer is a surprising one... Kenny Dougall! (beaten 1.1. times per game, probably a result of him being one of the highest players in the division in terms of attempted tackles - you can't be 'beaten' if you aren't in the tackle after all...) 

Individual players blocking: 

Again, we need to take the players rankings with a pinch of salt as we've already established we don't concede many shots. So, whilst that means we don't need to black as much as other teams, it's still interesting to see who our best blockers are... 

Marvin Ekiteta 0.8 (21st)
Ollie Turton 0.6 (49th)

Of the players with fewer appearances, Jordan Thorniley (1 per game) outshines even Marvin whilst Dan Ballard (0.8) has a similar record. 

Who loses the ball when we have possession? 

Obviously, these are stats we have to caveat by pointing out players who takes risks offensively will come higher in these stats than others who play it safe... 

Amount of times dispossessed per game: 

CJ Hamilton: 2.6 (8th)

Keshi Anderson 1.7 (35th)

Sullay Kaikai 1.6 (38th)

Bez Luballa 1.6 (39th)

Jerry Yates (42nd)

When analysing our defenders alone, Mitchell (in defence) then Gabriel, then Garbutt are the most likely to get tackled (probably as they are more likely to attack than Turton and Husband). Ballard and Grettarson almost never get dispossessed and Marvin is one of only three defenders in the division to never get dispossessed in the season to date. 

Unsuccessful touches per game: 

CJ Hamilton: 3.2 (4th)
Jerry Yates 2.3 (27th) 

Gary Madine 2.1 (30th)
Keshi Anderson 1.9 (55th)

Analysing by position is interesting. Keshi has the highest ratio of unsuccessful touches per gameof any central midfielder in the division when playing in central midfield. Defensively speaking, Mitchell again, then Garbutt again are most likely to make an 'unsuccessful touch' whereas Ballard, then Ekpiteta, then Husband are the least likely to do so. 

Again, this doesn't necessarily indicate that the unsuccessful touches equate to defensive liability, possibly more indicating the way some players get forward more, though in Mitchell's case his performances at full back were somewhat sketchy!

Defending from the front? 

To analyse this, I filtered various attacking positions and looked at successful tackles made by player of all teams who had played more than 10 games in the positions identified. 

Yates is 18/32 strikers in terms of tackles and Madine is 24/32. 

Sullay is bottom (6/6) in terms of left sided attacking players making tackles.

CJ is 6/10 in terms of right sided attacking players making successful tackles but significantly more successful in the tackle than any other out and out attacker in our squad.

Stats for interceptions were similar, though Sullay faired a little better here, being 4/6 instead of rank bottom.

Which of our defenders uses the ball best when we have it? 

Key passes per game by defenders (starting games only) 

Jordan Gabriel 1.6 (mostly short passes)
Luke Garbutt 1.4 (equal mix between long and short) 

Demi Mitchell 0.9

Accurate long balls per game by defenders (starting games only)

Jordan Thorniley 6.0

Michael Nottingham 4.7

Dan Ballard 4.3 

Dan Gretarsson 4.0

Crosses per game by defenders (starting games only) 

Luke Garbut 8.1 (2.3 accurate, 5.8 inaccurate) 

Jordan Gabriel 2.9 (0.6 accurate, 2.3 inaccurate)

Ollie Turton 2.8 (0.4 accurate, 2.4 inaccurate) 

Goalkeeping: 

I don't have any especially detailed stats on goalkeeping. Chris Maxwell has the 4th lowest ratio of saves per game in the division but that needs to be understood against the stat that we conceded the 4th lowest number of shots per game and it's clearly unreasonable to expect a keeper to save efforts that aren't coming at him! 

General analysis of his play suggests his distribution is strong. He's in the top 15% of keepers for accurate long balls. In the previous piece, I explained we actually don't play about at the back that much in comparison to others. Therefore it makes sense that Maxwell is in the bottom half for overall number of short passes. His ration of accurate to inaccurate passes is good and he hasn't been dispossessed or racked up any 'unsuccessful touches' to date. 

Conclusions: 

There's little surprising here. So much so, that I wonder why I've even bothered writing it. Marvin has clearly been a key factor in our defensive solidity and Ballard, Gretarsson and latterly Thorniley have all complimented him in different ways. Unsurprisingly the stats indicate Garbutt could add something in an attacking sense but they also suggest that Husband isn't without his merits as a defensive full back either. Gabriel vs Turton is a similar story. Essentially, nothing the stats tells us really contradicts the view of our own eyes. In a similar vein, discovering Dougall's clear influence is no surprise (as isn't the fact Stewart has shown himself capable of similar figures) The question isn't 'can we win the ball?' - it's 'what can we do when we win it?'

Parts 1 and 2 together tell the story of the season to date. A solid platform has been built but to date we haven't launched enough rockets from it. Of the players we haven't utilised so much, Mitchell and particularly Garbutt have a clear capacity to add some things we lack (running/crosses) though Demi's propensity for giving the ball away is probably why we don't see more of him. On the other flank Gabriel has an ability to make key passes missing from the squad as a whole and I identified in part 1 the fact that Ward has been more productive on the wing in his earlier career. 

Basically. Thank fuck the stats thing is done. Sunderland* next. 

*Eagle eyes readers will note it's actually Rochdale and we don't play Sunderland for ages yet. Dunno why I thought it was them... 

utmp

 

Exclusive access to tactics whiteboard at Squires Gate...

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More

FFS: NOT the Mighty vs Burton Albion

I can't claim to have originated the 4-4-2 stat that's been doing the rounds, but I will point out that on Sunday I posted a detailed (actually, really fucking boring piece of the type I'd deride some smartarse stats ragmag like the Athletic for publishing) analysis of the shortcomings of our attacking approach. Within this, I unearthed the fact that we really don't dribble very much at all, even compared to Larry's globetrotter style, non stop fun bus entertainment dream machine of a team last year.  

The team coach (circa mid Jan 2020). Larry not pictured

Imagine my delight therefore at seeing Demi in the starting line up! If I was being uncharitable, I'd describe him as 'headless Demi' given his general habit of getting the ball and just legging it somewhere with it (or without it) but I'm not that sort of blogger. Demi is excitement. Demi is a little frisson of something, a ripple of optimistic chat round the stands, a burst of electricity on a cold and dark evening. So, c'mon Demi. Run like the fucking wind. Run at them, run round them, run up blind alleys and into traffic, run beyond them, over them, under them, straight through them. Just fucking run lad. Be yourself and enjoy it. 

Grant Ward comes in too. Now don't get me wrong, I like the idea of Kevin Stewart but Dougall and Stewart together is a bit like having a main course and a main course on a night out. Ward is a bit of contrast, perhaps a tasty, zesty fresh citrus dessert to Dougall's steak main. More relevantly (cue boring stat again - did I tell you I wrote a proper piece this week yet?) our Grant is one of the few players in the midfield where there's clear evidence from his past endeavours at other clubs that there's more creativity in him than he's currently demonstrated. 

Also back is Ellis Simms. Now, I think, to get the best out of this lad he needs to play with wor Gaz but that's basically true of all footballers. Everything and everyone is better with Gary but with the goal machine out, I'm very happy to see Simms start up front and even happier that poor Jerry won't be lonely tonight. 

The Cure - The Weedy Burton

Apparently Burton had some games off then nipped out to buy Messi, Ronaldo and Pele whilst they were supposed to be poorly but I can't be arsed analysing all that. Get at them, get into them. Who gives a fuck who is playing for them? We're the Mighty and we're far more than pissing about worrying about the opposition. Nothing can stop us. Nothing. 

---

I switch on and there's a ranty looking Jimmy Floyd Hasslebank looking like that mate you've not seen for 20 years whose facebook profile always makes you baulk cos he's aged less than gracefully. There's also a whole load of fellas with forks, Critch with an expression that says 'shit's gonna happen but I'm not chuffed' and a ref tarting about tapping his foot on the grass like he's discovered a minefield and is curious about everyone's opinion about how best to diffuse it. 

Then there's a load of on point 2021 fist bumping, the ref holds his arms out as if to say 'I had no choice' and everyone disappears apart from the fellas with the forks who if anything, seem to have bred and multiplied. Excitingly, Mike 'what does he do?' Garrity comes out and joins the blokes and helpfully puts his hands on his hips for a bit. He points sometimes. He bobs up and down behind Colin and now we've learned he does a good teapot. 

There's a few minutes of fork prodding and bafflement then it emerges that the game is off. 

Fuck my life. It's -1 not -30 for fucks sake.

What the fuck am I going to do now? Hoover? Stare at a wall? Watch Holby City backwards really slowly so the sound is all warped whilst crying at the futility and banality of everything?

Russians not being melts from a shitty non league brewery town: Snow (tick) Orange ball (tick) Sliding tackles (tick) 

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More

Halfway report: the Mighty in numbers...

Big Gaz and CJ missing - 'nuff said... (save yourself from reading the rest of the article) 

Regular readers of the blog will be aware that rather than offering analysis I usually offer metaphors and say unkind things about the use of stats so this is quite hard for me to write. My defence for rank hypocrisy is, that I don't think stats are useless - I just think they're over used in the modern era by journalists.

I always like reading a report that describes the game, rather than one that reduces it to a spreadsheet. I like a report that evokes an image in your mind, and with the greatest of respect to a scatter graph, they don't give you much sense of the noise of the crowd, the weather lashing down or the manner and gait of the players, the character and feeling of the game. Individual games are human events, stats are more helpful to look at the trends that emerge over a series of such events. To me, the way we sometimes use stats in football is to tell us what we can see with our own eyes. 

Looking at a single game doesn't tell us so much. For example, Rob Apter has an assist for every 2 mins of football he's played this year and 100% crossing and passing ratio. I think Rob Apter is a talented prospect but I don't think he's likely to be providing 45 goals every game across the course of his career. Elliot Embleton did at best ok-ish in the Ipswich game but his total of 3 'key passes' is almost double the average of anyone else in the squad. Again, whilst Embleton showed a little bit, I don't think he really looked twice as innovative as anyone else who stepped on the pitch for us this year. 

I think, as we've crossed the half way mark, it might be fair to have a little think about what we have and haven't (defined objectively by external data) actually done in the season. We all have opinions (I bloody love Sullay - on the balance of opinions on social media, you probably don't) about who is and isn't any good and whilst stats only tell us certain things, I think there might be something to be said for stepping back and looking deeply at our side. 

Our problem this year has largely been attacking (I actually finished my pre season preview with the words 'we'll score one more than you!' which shows what I know...) so that's what I'm going to look at. I don't have any special stats to hand. Until readers aggressively demand the ability to hand over money in return for even more over written shite I'm not subscribing to ProZone or owt, so I'm just using my trusty regular approach of 5 minutes of Googling and the (seemingly reliable) stats from a betting site as a source. (EFL League 1 games only) 

Key issue

As a team, we're 20th from 24 in terms of goals scored. 

If you don't buy a ticket... 

Are we shooting enough? The answer seems to be 'maybe' - it's not so much the quantity of shots, but the quality thereof. We're actually 7th in terms of shots per game which suggests we're either not hitting barn doors or we're shooting from positions that don't generally lead to goals. 

In terms of barn doors and banjos, our position drops to 18th in terms of shots on target which tells a story. 

We can break down the shots we do have and compare how those percentages sit against the rest of the division (though that doesn't reveal the totals for each type of effort) 

Inside the six yard box: 6% (19th) 

Inside the penalty area: 57% (6th)

Outside the box: 38%: (12th) 

This suggests we're not simply belting it hopelessly from miles away, but we're not putting it on a plate as much as some other teams, that our strikers lack as high a percentages of chances for close range finishes compared to many other teams and also that we're not finishing from medium distance especially well either. 

How do we score when we do score? 

We're the joint best counter attackers in the league (even though we don't score many.) Set pieces have been derided as 'abysmal' but we're actually distinctly mid table (13th) in terms of converting these. We're really poor (19th) at scoring from open play.

This backs up the generally held perception that our ideal game is one where we can play on the break and that we struggle to make the running. The one hammering we've dished out was against Wigan who since losing Joe Garner have tried to play football more than they did with him and without question it's sides who play a bit that we play better against. 

We can look at where the goals come from, but with so few scored overall, it's not that instructive. We're not great at corners or free kicks, but in terms of direct assists, no one in the league is! We've slated the dead balls, but we've got a grand total of 1 goal each from corners or free kicks. That actually puts us joint 12th and joint 6th in the division! (Only Swindon have more than 2 assists from corners!) We don't score many from out wide, with our 5 assists leaving us 18th in the league for this stat.

Rather than looking at how we score, it's perhaps more interesting to look at how we don't score... 

How do we attack in general? 

Here's an interesting stat. We started the season playing pass and move football but we've actually now reached 7th in terms of 'long balls per game' compared to 13th when measuring short passes per game. We play so few through balls that we're joint bottom of this metric... 

We're quite balanced in terms of how we attack

35% left sided attacks

25% through the middle 

40% right sided attacks

It would be interesting to see a 'pre CJ injury' comparison though as we seem to currently work a bit better down the left.

The next stat is really interesting and tells a story about the way we play. 

We have 33% of all our touches in attacking situations (final third of the pitch). This is the 3rd highest ratio in the division. Despite the sense that we 'piss about at the back' we actually have the 2nd lowest number of touches in our own third in the league! (i.e - statistically we fanny about less than other teams or possibly have to defend less) 

This suggests we get the ball forward often enough, but it's the quality of what happens in the final third that matters. 

In the air, it's not bad at all. With Madine in the team (who is in the top 10 of all players and top 3 of strikers for aerial battles) it's no surprise we're in the top half, sitting 10th in terms of attacking aerial duels won. That said, neither Ellis Simms (1.7) or Jerry Yates 1.3) come close to Madine's 5.5 duels won per game so we're quite dependant on one player for this strength. 

A stat that is quite revealing here though, is we are 22nd in terms of successful dribbles per game - Add in failed dribbles and we rise to the grand heights of 20th - which suggests it's not so much we're bad at dribbling but we don't try running at defenders as much as other teams. 

We can see we have the ball in the right place quite often - in fact, seemingly more than other teams, but we're either taking more touches than they do or simply not risking taking on a man or playing a through ball. Notably, we're right at the top (or bottom?) in terms of the number of unsuccessful attacking touches (6th highest) and amount of times we're dispossessed (3rd highest) in attacking situations. 

Again, this seems to suggest we're not attacking as decisively as others... 

Those are the key team stats - but what do the individual stats tell us? 

Individual attackers: Goals:  

Jerry has 8. CJ has 5 and wor Gaz 4. This is the crux of the issue. Ellis Simms brace against Wigan is promising but no one else really looks like scoring with any regularity. Add Sullay, Robson, Dougall, Williams, Ward, Bez and all the other players who've played midfield together and you get 6 goals. It's tempting to *blame the strikers* but actually, what sticks out is that midfielders like Ollie Finney at Crewe (7) and Alex Pritchard (6) at Accy have outscored our entire midfield other than CJ (and don't forget, CJ has played on the right of a front three and Sullay on the left for a good chunk of their games/goals as opposed to in midfield)

Goals from midfield is a big issue. 

Individual attackers: Shots

So, we're seeing play in the right places and we are shooting more than we're scoring. Stats here show the number of shots per game and the position against the other 331 players in the divisional database who have played a minimum number of games. 

CJ Hamilton 2.4 (10th) 
Gary Madine 2.1 (21st) 
Sullay Kaikai 1.8 (44th) 
Jerry Yates 1.7 (55th)

This tells us that Jerry is deadly, CJ and big Gaz like to have a go, Sullay is at least on the fringes of the party. But what of the rest of the front 6? (or 7 depending on how we play...) 

Unsuprisingly Demi and Bez appear in the top 100, given as they tend to come on, run about and lash at least one wild shot towards goal. Keshi is there as well given his propensity to do similar. All three average about 1.3 shots and sit between 80-100 (and all three tend have played wide at some point) 

When we look further at the players who've played solely in the middle, it's interesting reading. 

Kenny Dougall 0.7 (174) 
Grant Ward 0.6 (206)
Ethan Robson 0.6 (218)

Matty Virtue doesn't qualify for the main list but has an almost identical record to Kenny Dougall from the games he's played. 

What's interesting is these 4 midfielders are only a fraction higher than Marvin (0.5) and actually averaging less efforts on goal per game than Jordan Thorniley! 

It seems clear to me - it's not just goals from central midfield that are lacking - unless Keshi is playing there, we're simply not shooting from the middle of the pitch very often. To be fair to Virtue, he hasn't really played in the middle much but it's perhaps insightful that a player renowned for having a decent shot on him, simply isn't having shots. Why? 

Individuals: Assists

Who is creating the goals we do score? 

Sullay 3
CJ 3 

Yates 2
Marvin 2 

Maxwell, Husband, Ward, Apter, Madine, Turton 1 

Again, we can perhaps make a case that the wide players are doing a bit of a job but we certainly can't point to the central midfield. We've managed a SINGLE (Grant Ward) assist from here all season. 

Put it this way. Dougall, Anderson, Robson, Williams, Stewart and Virtue combined have zero assists. George Honeyman has 9, Connor Grant 7, Aaron Morley 6, Joe Powell 5, Joe Pritchard 5... 

Individuals dribbling: 

We've seen above that we don't run at defences enough - so who is not running at the defence? Stats here show successful dribbles per game and the position that puts the play against other players in the division who've played a qualifying number of games. 

CJ Hamilton: 1.2 (15th) 
Demi Mitchell: 0.7 (68th)

Jerry Yates: 0.5 (97th) 
Keshi Anderson 0.5 (106)

What surprises me here when I look beyond the first four is Sullay coming in at 136th! (below Kenny Dougall!) - A left winger that doesn't dribble... Maybe he's not left winger? Just a thought. Last year when not playing as a left winger Sullay averaged 1.5 successful runs per game. This year, it's just 0.4... 

Individuals passing: 

If we're not running at teams very much (and aside from CJ, we're demonstrably not, then we're going to have to pass around then) 

Here we'll look at key passes per game (and position against other qualifying players:)

CJ Hamilton: 1.6 (17th) 

Sullay Kaikai 1.4 (34th)
Gary Madine 1.1 (58th) 

Jerry Yates 0.9 (96th) 

Again we lack impact from central midfield. Dougall, Robson and Ward come in at 136, 140 and 216 respectively. Ward and Robson rate 31st and 51st for accuracy but clearly that accuracy isn't leading to impact. I've long maintained that Sullay is better at passing than he gets credit for and the Goal Machine is actually a creative fulcrum. The stats bare that out. 

The stat I mentioned at the beginning is interesting - if you add in Elliot Embleton's one game to the stats, he produced 3 key passes, which, if he continues to do that, could have an impact on our midfield. 

Individuals crossing: 

The stats below represent successful crosses alone

Sullay Kaikai 1.6 (11th) 

Grant Ward 0.7 (57th) 

CJ Hamilton 0.6 (62nd)
Ollie Turton 0.4 (94th)

If we add in the players who havn't reached the minumum number of appearences, then there's some hope here. Luke Garbutt has 1.4 per game (21st in the division from all players) and Embleton managed 2 in his debut (which would put him 5th!) Essentially, there's only Sullay consistently done any decent crossing for most of the season. 

Individuals playing through balls

100 players in the division have played whatever it is exactly that the stats class as a 'through ball.' Only one of them is a Blackpool player. 

Sullay Kaikai is the only player in the squad to played a through ball... in the entire season! Charlie Kirk of Crewe has played 14 through balls all by himself (as well as assisting Crewe's goal against us) 

When we look at the attributes (born out by the stats) of the forwards who are not Gary Madine, it's evident that they probably need a player who can play this kind of pass.... 

How do we compare to last year? 

We're particularly poor at dribbling and key passes is an issue. - Liam Feeney made more key passes per game last year than anyone is managing so far this year and is doing even better this season with Tranmere. Connor Ronan actually out performed even Feeney in this respect last season and would be second in the dribbling tables this season as well! Obviously KDH's goals from midfield are a miss and this year he seems to have added dribbling to his game with Luton completing more per match than anyone including CJ. As frustrating as Fonz was, he has managed more successful runs per game last year than anyone but CJ has this season. 

Obviously, crosses are a problem, especially from the right. Feeney out performed just about everyone in football last year, so it it's perhaps not a surprise to see the numbers dip this year, but going from 2.3 per game to 0.7 is quite a big drop. You can of course, make the point that we play a different way now, but equally, the stats suggest that Madine in the air is one aspect where we have a real advantage over other teams. What is interesting is Ronan, Dewsbury Hall, Jordan Thompson and even Marc Bola all averaged more successful crosses per game than our second best crosser (CJ) this year. It's also interesting to see that Sullay wasn't really crossing it very often at all last season (he's attempting about 5 crosses per game this season - last year it was about 2.8 - in line with the rest of his career.) 

I'm not making a case for the players above (though personally, I'd have loved to have seen more of Ronan) - it's just an interesting comparison on our relative attacking merits season on season and the fact (Feeney aside) the standout players in these areas are largely the loan players tells a story about last season's squad. Impishly, you do have to wonder if 'wish we'd put a recall clause in for Feeney' is crossing anyone's mind as Tranmere seem to score 3 every week... 

Conclusion: 

It's inescapable that we've got a creative issue. For all the stick Sullay gets, he's there or thereabouts in terms of contributing in an attacking sense in most of the charts. That's not to say there isn't issues with  aspects of his game, but he's not the reason we're not scoring goals this year. Yes, he might contribute more and yes, he doesn't look right and no, I've not mentioned anything about defensive work but take out Sullay and CJ and there's literally no one doing some of the things you need to do to put pressure on the other teams goal. 

Our central midfield hasn't contributed assists or goals. It doesn't shoot, it doesn't play through balls and it doesn't get on to the end of things in the box. We're currently playing the one player of the 5 we have who does the latter too things well wide on the right which is odd as he shares just about no attributes with CJ or any wide man I can bring to mind. 

Marvin Ekpiteta has been involved in twice as many goals than the 3 midfielders who have started most games for us. That tells a story. There's nothing wrong with having players who do the simple things well, wining the ball and retaining possession but you've also got to have other players who'll find the through ball or take on a man. Without CJ, no one else aside from Sullay even looks as if they try these things.  

We're also much more direct team than it appears. With Madine in the side, we've got one of the best target men we could have. He not only wins the ball, but often uses it very well. Without Madine, we have two strikers who don't especially suit a direct style of play and we're back to the lack of key passes and through balls. 

We're also not putting in convincing crosses from one side of the pitch - something exacerbated by the lack of CJ (who might not cross so much or so well, but does other things that compensate for that) - Grant Ward is a possible answer there as he's relatively quick, reasonably skillful, can cross and has played on the wing and isn't Matty Virtue. 

Lastly, here's an interesting statistical point: 

According to the database we've got the following record with starting formations: 

442: P10 W6 D2 L2  G18 A7 (Pts 20) (2ppg)

433: P11 W3 D1 L7 G7 A18 (pts 10 (0.91ppg) 

other: P3 W1 D1 L1 G3 A4 (pts 4 (1.33ppg) 

Aside from the obvious improvement in results, the ratio of goals per game in the respective formations is a stark illustration of how impotent we look with one striker and maybe illustrates how hamstrung we've been by the start of the season. 

The above isn't my usual style of writing and I don't intend to start punctuating my usual reports with XG stats (we're actually 6th if you're wondering and 21st in XGa - which Is why I can't really be arsed with it as that suggests we should be right up there) but I found it interesting reading looking through this and trying to get to the bottom of the question 'why do we look so toothless sometimes?' 

It's interesting to look at some of the players and analyse whether it's them who lack creativity or it's the way we're playing. Grant Ward for example is making less key passes and dribbling less (up to 3 times less) than in any season he's ever had in professional football aside from his first with us. Dougall is actually slightly out performing himself in previous seasons. Robson hasn't played enough before to make a meaningful comparison. Virtue is definitely shooting less than last year. 

Will the new signings make any difference? Stewart has had one season average more than a shot per game and 2 assists and 3 goals from 85 matches. Embleton has barely had a career yet and again, there's little to compare his encouraging (statistically speaking) start with. 

What about the midfield players left out? Demi does make runs and Bez does shoot. There's that. The problem is, from the stats at least, even an out of sorts Sullay out performs both of them and they'd both suit the left sided berth most obviously (though Demi arguably is the only player with the pace to attempt a CJ impression on the right) 

In short... unless he's going to give Rob Apter a go and try and see if he actually can set one up every 2 minutes, we need Super Gaz fit. Quick. Evidently, his prowess in the air (and CJ's pace on the right) are absolutely fundamental to our chances of scoring goals. What the stats don't definitely reveal is whether the pace of our play is the issue. I've felt all year that we're sometimes guilty of being ponderous going forward and taking too many touches, not risking the quick ball or instinctive touch. Is that down to the players fundamental caution or the experimentation with different formations and changing line ups meaning they're not becoming fluent? Is it actually true?

Who can say?! 

Fear not. Super Gaz will head us to promotion... maybe. 

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More

Meh... - Ipswich Town vs the Mighty

"Ipswich - PinkOranges47"

Here's the strangest thing about this game. All over East Anglia, from the fenlands, past the FISONS factory, to the old docks, Ipswich fans will be thinking 'I hope Blackpool don't play that deadly striker they've got' 

They don't mean shirtless Jerry, they don't don't mean yer man Simms, they don't mean the Goal Machine. They don't even mean Armand from off of last year. No, they mean Super Joe Nuttall, tractor boy slayer no 1. 

Wrap your head around that. Makes a global pandemic seem positively simple in comparison. 

Imagine if Critch brought him back just for today? #scenes 

Obviously Critch doesn't do that, and he goes with one striker (wor shirtless) and brings in Embleton for Simms. It could mean Matty Virtue in an advanced position or Sullay more central and Virtue continuing to nor be a winger out wide, maybe to counter the threat they had on the left last time out. 

Exclusive extract from Critch's notebook

This is gonna be exciting. They're out of form but have decent players and made us look comically bad at home. We just collapsed and let them score at will. Gabriel had his worst game for us against them and it'll be interesting to see if they target him or not. Embleton is a complete unknown and has a point to prove, a career to get back on track, so I'm looking forward to seeing him play. Sullay showed a bit more on Tuesday and with another creative force, might not get so much opposition attention. With each game, Stewart will offer more and poorly Kenny will get back to being himself. So, basically, we're all good. 

Come on you Pooooooooooooooooooooool! 

---

The game is preceded by a big audio build up and loads of fellas standing round the tunnel for no reason at all. Colin wanders out, all suppressed menace. Critch ambles after him exuding amenability. Where is Mikey G? 

We're off. Kevin Stewart has a beard so thick, it looks for all the world like a face mask. The Sull looks to be on the left, so it'll be either Virtue or Embleton to try and ensure Jerry isn't lonely Jerry. First impressions suggests Virtue is the wide man and Embleton will try and link things up in front of the two holding players. 

Pool have a couple of little moves that come to nothing. Ipswich spring the offside trap on the left but run it out of play. The pitch isn't quite Wigan bad but it looks a bit grim, with patches of bare mud in places and overall, a general dull, heavy looking green that shows scar marks of wear and tear, as opposed to the lush unspoiled turf of Bloomfield.  

Not a lot happens in the first 10 minutes. It's evident Ipswich are going to try and get behind the full backs and we're going to try and break quickly. Embleton shows willingness to play that quick style with an attempted first time pass that doesn't quite come off but shows promise and awareness. 

The first real effort is a deflected Ipswich drive, that crashes alarmingly into the side netting. They've probably got the better of the play. Virtue gets on to a nice bit of hold up work from Jerry, but is furious to be robbed of a corner. We work it well on the left, Stewart showing real command and our reward is a free kick wide. Sullay drifts a terrific hanging curling ball across, Marvin attacks it on the edge of the six yard box and the Goal Machine mk2 is just wide... 

There's more promise when Embleton and Sullay show very quick feet and first time passing around the D and only Husband's heavy pass stops us getting round the back. Maybe Ipswich's cardboard cut out are grumbling. Sullay picks it up from a Dougall challenge and sends Virtue. We win a corner... It's a short one and Sullay works it well with his new mate Elliot and the move sees a moment where the Sunderland loanee crashes to the ground inside the box and Kaikai lashes one on the half volley across the face of goal. 

Now it's us with a bit more control and Ipswich looking to break. I like the fluidity of the 3 players behind Yates and particularly that we're seeing Sullay drifting into the middle sometimes and threading it, one pass to Jerry from just outside the D is a particular beauty. Again Sullay is the creator of our next chance, a curling delivery from the left touchline, that bounces once before Husband launches himself at it and sort of forward rolls the ball wide of the near post. 

Hesitance between Thorniley and Dougall leads to both of them leaving the ball and then having to concede a free kick as Ipswich nick it. They launch it, Marvin heads away. From the corner, Maxwell catches and we launch an attack. Gabriel makes a fantastic sliding challenge that gives possession to Embleton. He shows real vision to spot Sullay and executes the pass beautifuly. Sullay takes, it, comes inside but his shot is blocked, but there's signs of a real relationship between the two early on. 

Sullay and Husband link well on the left. Jerry harries and turns a poor cross into a corner through hard work. Embleton skids it in low and Thorniley turns it just past the near post. 

It's all been looking quite decent until we don't really clear it convincingly, Marvin's long ball being cut out and Ipswich working it quickly till they have an overlap and acres of space on the right side of the box, but fortunately it's all a bit much for Luke Thomas who rushes his shot and shanks it well wide. 

Not for the first time, Gabriel steals possession and sets Pool going forward with a run then a neat lay off for Embleton. He takes a few steps and absolutely lashes it from 25 yards, forcing a sprawling stop... In reply, there's a glimpse of Ipswich's potential. A lovely 15-20 pass move ends with the ball in the back of the net but the offside flag up. 

Then all the promise evaporates. Sullay is carrying it on the break, he tries to set Virtue and Yates away who are free on the right, his ball is just not high or quite heavy enough and is just about cut out. Pool have raced forward, but now Ipswich are going the other way. Three passes and they're on the edge of the box, where Alan Judge lashes it home, one awkward bounce off the wet turf and Maxwell beaten at the near post. It all seemed a bit easy. 

---

It's been tight and I think we've slightly edged it but we're losing. There was a spell around half way where Embleton and Kaikai were linking and we looked like we might really have something. Then the little through balls started to get cut out and we looked a bit hurried and a bit less slick. 

I do think we've got to get Virtue into the box a bit more. I'd be wanting Embleton to wander out wide right a bit more and getting Virtue to drift in. It's tricky. Do we bring on Simms and lose the nice shape we've had or stick to it... I'm honestly not sure. 

I also wonder about stats at half time. According to them, we've only had 1 effort on goal (including off target ones). I count at least 4. Presumably headers don't count or something. Who knows. Stats are shite. 

---

Maxwell makes a good stop from a well worked Ipswich move, thrusting a fist up as he springs upward like a jack in the box to turn it over. From the corner though, lonely Jerry flicks it on perfectly for the Ipswich no 6 to charge in at the far post and bundle it home. Fucking hell Pool

Ipswich look a different side to the cautious and slightly nervous looking team when we were playing well. They've got closer to Embleton and that seems to have stifled us and without Madine our attempts to be direct just look wasteful as it doesn't stick up front at all. We get a nice bit of possession at least, but for all the passing and movement, they can sit deep and when the move culminates in Gabriel hopefully falling over in the box, it's seems emblematic of our problem. 
 
The game is getting a bit hairy. Gabriel gets forward and whips it in, it almost leads to an own goal, and nearly breaks for Virtue, who hacks at it multiple times like a miner with pick axe trying to break down a stubborn rock, but it just doesn't fall for him. Town break, and Maxwell sprints out and takes their forward out. Somehow, it's only a yellow (thank fuck) but from the free kick, they waste a free header. 

C'mon Critch.... Freshen things up. Critch hears the cry all the way down in East Anglia and sends on Chaotic Demi for Matty 'sort of boy you'd hope your daughter brought home' Virtue. We have a little move and Kaikai and Jerry show nice feet before Sullay (who seems to now be up front) wallops it miles over. Sullay, who will no doubt be at fault in the aftermath for the national debt, AIDs and the death of Father Ted, gets booked as he makes a frustrated challenge.

Demi makes a mad run all down the touchline then over the goal line for good measure.. Classic Demi. Come the fuck on Pool. That kid from Rochdale that looks a bit like Greta Thunberg nearly cuts Husband in half. Mitchell heads way over. Where is Simms? We're not doing very well but I think the Town defenders have got a mistake in them... Risk it Critch... C'mon! Then I spot Mike Garrity! He's showing the assistant ref a piece of paper that signifies that Simms is indeed coming on.

Marvin then makes an astonishing challenge to deny Town their 3rd. He's got some kind of matrix-like ability to predict the future and slow down time. Sullay who started well but faded away is coming off and Simms has 18 minutes. Town have lashed another effort at the near post and literally have broken the side netting so one of the blokes who were stood around at the tunnel mouth trots round with a bit of string. I think this is my highlight of the game. MOM? The fella with the string... 

Surely fragile Luke would be a shout now? FFS. Critch is channelling me. In fact, it's not just the breakable lad with the lovely hair, but also technically gifted Grant and madcap Bez coming on... Gabriel (who has done pretty well) gets onto a long ball and can't quite steer it past the keeper. I make it 9 minutes on the pitch and Simms hasn't touched it yet. Off goes Embleton, Dougall and Jimmy... 

Then Marvin goes to new level. Ipswich are taking the piss a bit now and work a perfect chance and Ekpiteta makes, what I can only describe as diving save without using his hands. Maybe we don't need a keeper? 

Nothing good is coming of this game, but at least there's a novelty moment as the ref substitutes himself yielding the glorious site of him handing over the notebook and cards to the linesman. The sub linesman takes forever to get ready (as if he had to nip off like that Hamilton commentator) and when he does amble over to the touchline he looks for all the world like an aging PE teacher. Maybe the ref's hamstring is MOM? 

We get 7 minutes of injury time, but seen as we've barely had a shot all half, I'm not sure we're going to take advantage. Ward at least adds to the shot count with a horrible effort. Marvin makes a horrible mistake. Stewart passes out of play. Gabriel looks knackered. Ipswich spend most of the extra time looking like they could score if they wanted to. Just blow the whistle and we'll all go home... 

The minutes tick by like nails down a blackboard. Why the fuck are we pissing about at the back? Thank fuck, there's the whistle... 

---

After such games it's tempting to assign FAULT and DEMAND NEW PLAYERS like entitled Sky TV pundits having a strop but I can't be arsed. We were crap after about 38 minutes and without Madine we just can't establish possession in dangerous areas. Most of the first half we looked quite good, but we had no answer once the break was taken out of the equation. Other people can say whose fault it all was. I'll say, it was one of those days and leave it at that. 

Sometimes watching a shit performance on a muddy pitch can sap the will to live. This was one of those days. Should have played Super Joe. I think what sums it up is, after 75 minutes, Id have shoved Marvin up front cos nothing else looked like having any impact so we might as well have twatted it at Ekpiteta and hoped for the best. 

Meh. 

We go again...  Get fit soon Gaz you fucking rock and roll star... 

utmp

You can follow MCLF on Twitter and Facebook or subscribe directly by email on the homepage 

If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. 

Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

Read More