"Ipswich - PinkOranges47"
Here's the strangest thing about this game. All over East Anglia, from the fenlands, past the FISONS factory, to the old docks, Ipswich fans will be thinking 'I hope Blackpool don't play that deadly striker they've got'
They don't mean shirtless Jerry, they don't don't mean yer man Simms, they don't mean the Goal Machine. They don't even mean Armand from off of last year. No, they mean Super Joe Nuttall, tractor boy slayer no 1.
Wrap your head around that. Makes a global pandemic seem positively simple in comparison.
Imagine if Critch brought him back just for today? #scenes
Imagine if Critch brought him back just for today? #scenes
Obviously Critch doesn't do that, and he goes with one striker (wor shirtless) and brings in Embleton for Simms. It could mean Matty Virtue in an advanced position or Sullay more central and Virtue continuing to nor be a winger out wide, maybe to counter the threat they had on the left last time out.
 |
| Exclusive extract from Critch's notebook This is gonna be exciting. They're out of form but have decent players and made us look comically bad at home. We just collapsed and let them score at will. Gabriel had his worst game for us against them and it'll be interesting to see if they target him or not. Embleton is a complete unknown and has a point to prove, a career to get back on track, so I'm looking forward to seeing him play. Sullay showed a bit more on Tuesday and with another creative force, might not get so much opposition attention. With each game, Stewart will offer more and poorly Kenny will get back to being himself. So, basically, we're all good. |
Come on you Pooooooooooooooooooooool!
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The game is preceded by a big audio build up and loads of fellas standing round the tunnel for no reason at all. Colin wanders out, all suppressed menace. Critch ambles after him exuding amenability. Where is Mikey G?
We're off. Kevin Stewart has a beard so thick, it looks for all the world like a face mask. The Sull looks to be on the left, so it'll be either Virtue or Embleton to try and ensure Jerry isn't lonely Jerry. First impressions suggests Virtue is the wide man and Embleton will try and link things up in front of the two holding players.
Pool have a couple of little moves that come to nothing. Ipswich spring the offside trap on the left but run it out of play. The pitch isn't quite Wigan bad but it looks a bit grim, with patches of bare mud in places and overall, a general dull, heavy looking green that shows scar marks of wear and tear, as opposed to the lush unspoiled turf of Bloomfield.
Not a lot happens in the first 10 minutes. It's evident Ipswich are going to try and get behind the full backs and we're going to try and break quickly. Embleton shows willingness to play that quick style with an attempted first time pass that doesn't quite come off but shows promise and awareness.
The first real effort is a deflected Ipswich drive, that crashes alarmingly into the side netting. They've probably got the better of the play. Virtue gets on to a nice bit of hold up work from Jerry, but is furious to be robbed of a corner. We work it well on the left, Stewart showing real command and our reward is a free kick wide. Sullay drifts a terrific hanging curling ball across, Marvin attacks it on the edge of the six yard box and the Goal Machine mk2 is just wide...
There's more promise when Embleton and Sullay show very quick feet and first time passing around the D and only Husband's heavy pass stops us getting round the back. Maybe Ipswich's cardboard cut out are grumbling. Sullay picks it up from a Dougall challenge and sends Virtue. We win a corner... It's a short one and Sullay works it well with his new mate Elliot and the move sees a moment where the Sunderland loanee crashes to the ground inside the box and Kaikai lashes one on the half volley across the face of goal.
Now it's us with a bit more control and Ipswich looking to break. I like the fluidity of the 3 players behind Yates and particularly that we're seeing Sullay drifting into the middle sometimes and threading it, one pass to Jerry from just outside the D is a particular beauty. Again Sullay is the creator of our next chance, a curling delivery from the left touchline, that bounces once before Husband launches himself at it and sort of forward rolls the ball wide of the near post.
---
The game is preceded by a big audio build up and loads of fellas standing round the tunnel for no reason at all. Colin wanders out, all suppressed menace. Critch ambles after him exuding amenability. Where is Mikey G?
We're off. Kevin Stewart has a beard so thick, it looks for all the world like a face mask. The Sull looks to be on the left, so it'll be either Virtue or Embleton to try and ensure Jerry isn't lonely Jerry. First impressions suggests Virtue is the wide man and Embleton will try and link things up in front of the two holding players.
Pool have a couple of little moves that come to nothing. Ipswich spring the offside trap on the left but run it out of play. The pitch isn't quite Wigan bad but it looks a bit grim, with patches of bare mud in places and overall, a general dull, heavy looking green that shows scar marks of wear and tear, as opposed to the lush unspoiled turf of Bloomfield.
Not a lot happens in the first 10 minutes. It's evident Ipswich are going to try and get behind the full backs and we're going to try and break quickly. Embleton shows willingness to play that quick style with an attempted first time pass that doesn't quite come off but shows promise and awareness.
The first real effort is a deflected Ipswich drive, that crashes alarmingly into the side netting. They've probably got the better of the play. Virtue gets on to a nice bit of hold up work from Jerry, but is furious to be robbed of a corner. We work it well on the left, Stewart showing real command and our reward is a free kick wide. Sullay drifts a terrific hanging curling ball across, Marvin attacks it on the edge of the six yard box and the Goal Machine mk2 is just wide...
There's more promise when Embleton and Sullay show very quick feet and first time passing around the D and only Husband's heavy pass stops us getting round the back. Maybe Ipswich's cardboard cut out are grumbling. Sullay picks it up from a Dougall challenge and sends Virtue. We win a corner... It's a short one and Sullay works it well with his new mate Elliot and the move sees a moment where the Sunderland loanee crashes to the ground inside the box and Kaikai lashes one on the half volley across the face of goal.
Now it's us with a bit more control and Ipswich looking to break. I like the fluidity of the 3 players behind Yates and particularly that we're seeing Sullay drifting into the middle sometimes and threading it, one pass to Jerry from just outside the D is a particular beauty. Again Sullay is the creator of our next chance, a curling delivery from the left touchline, that bounces once before Husband launches himself at it and sort of forward rolls the ball wide of the near post.
Hesitance between Thorniley and Dougall leads to both of them leaving the ball and then having to concede a free kick as Ipswich nick it. They launch it, Marvin heads away. From the corner, Maxwell catches and we launch an attack. Gabriel makes a fantastic sliding challenge that gives possession to Embleton. He shows real vision to spot Sullay and executes the pass beautifuly. Sullay takes, it, comes inside but his shot is blocked, but there's signs of a real relationship between the two early on.
Sullay and Husband link well on the left. Jerry harries and turns a poor cross into a corner through hard work. Embleton skids it in low and Thorniley turns it just past the near post.
It's all been looking quite decent until we don't really clear it convincingly, Marvin's long ball being cut out and Ipswich working it quickly till they have an overlap and acres of space on the right side of the box, but fortunately it's all a bit much for Luke Thomas who rushes his shot and shanks it well wide.
Not for the first time, Gabriel steals possession and sets Pool going forward with a run then a neat lay off for Embleton. He takes a few steps and absolutely lashes it from 25 yards, forcing a sprawling stop... In reply, there's a glimpse of Ipswich's potential. A lovely 15-20 pass move ends with the ball in the back of the net but the offside flag up.
Then all the promise evaporates. Sullay is carrying it on the break, he tries to set Virtue and Yates away who are free on the right, his ball is just not high or quite heavy enough and is just about cut out. Pool have raced forward, but now Ipswich are going the other way. Three passes and they're on the edge of the box, where Alan Judge lashes it home, one awkward bounce off the wet turf and Maxwell beaten at the near post. It all seemed a bit easy.
---
It's been tight and I think we've slightly edged it but we're losing. There was a spell around half way where Embleton and Kaikai were linking and we looked like we might really have something. Then the little through balls started to get cut out and we looked a bit hurried and a bit less slick.
I do think we've got to get Virtue into the box a bit more. I'd be wanting Embleton to wander out wide right a bit more and getting Virtue to drift in. It's tricky. Do we bring on Simms and lose the nice shape we've had or stick to it... I'm honestly not sure.
I also wonder about stats at half time. According to them, we've only had 1 effort on goal (including off target ones). I count at least 4. Presumably headers don't count or something. Who knows. Stats are shite.
---
Maxwell makes a good stop from a well worked Ipswich move, thrusting a fist up as he springs upward like a jack in the box to turn it over. From the corner though, lonely Jerry flicks it on perfectly for the Ipswich no 6 to charge in at the far post and bundle it home. Fucking hell Pool
Ipswich look a different side to the cautious and slightly nervous looking team when we were playing well. They've got closer to Embleton and that seems to have stifled us and without Madine our attempts to be direct just look wasteful as it doesn't stick up front at all. We get a nice bit of possession at least, but for all the passing and movement, they can sit deep and when the move culminates in Gabriel hopefully falling over in the box, it's seems emblematic of our problem.
The game is getting a bit hairy. Gabriel gets forward and whips it in, it almost leads to an own goal, and nearly breaks for Virtue, who hacks at it multiple times like a miner with pick axe trying to break down a stubborn rock, but it just doesn't fall for him. Town break, and Maxwell sprints out and takes their forward out. Somehow, it's only a yellow (thank fuck) but from the free kick, they waste a free header.
C'mon Critch.... Freshen things up. Critch hears the cry all the way down in East Anglia and sends on Chaotic Demi for Matty 'sort of boy you'd hope your daughter brought home' Virtue. We have a little move and Kaikai and Jerry show nice feet before Sullay (who seems to now be up front) wallops it miles over. Sullay, who will no doubt be at fault in the aftermath for the national debt, AIDs and the death of Father Ted, gets booked as he makes a frustrated challenge.
Demi makes a mad run all down the touchline then over the goal line for good measure.. Classic Demi. Come the fuck on Pool. That kid from Rochdale that looks a bit like Greta Thunberg nearly cuts Husband in half. Mitchell heads way over. Where is Simms? We're not doing very well but I think the Town defenders have got a mistake in them... Risk it Critch... C'mon! Then I spot Mike Garrity! He's showing the assistant ref a piece of paper that signifies that Simms is indeed coming on.
Marvin then makes an astonishing challenge to deny Town their 3rd. He's got some kind of matrix-like ability to predict the future and slow down time. Sullay who started well but faded away is coming off and Simms has 18 minutes. Town have lashed another effort at the near post and literally have broken the side netting so one of the blokes who were stood around at the tunnel mouth trots round with a bit of string. I think this is my highlight of the game. MOM? The fella with the string...
Surely fragile Luke would be a shout now? FFS. Critch is channelling me. In fact, it's not just the breakable lad with the lovely hair, but also technically gifted Grant and madcap Bez coming on... Gabriel (who has done pretty well) gets onto a long ball and can't quite steer it past the keeper. I make it 9 minutes on the pitch and Simms hasn't touched it yet. Off goes Embleton, Dougall and Jimmy...
Then Marvin goes to new level. Ipswich are taking the piss a bit now and work a perfect chance and Ekpiteta makes, what I can only describe as diving save without using his hands. Maybe we don't need a keeper?
Nothing good is coming of this game, but at least there's a novelty moment as the ref substitutes himself yielding the glorious site of him handing over the notebook and cards to the linesman. The sub linesman takes forever to get ready (as if he had to nip off like that Hamilton commentator) and when he does amble over to the touchline he looks for all the world like an aging PE teacher. Maybe the ref's hamstring is MOM?
We get 7 minutes of injury time, but seen as we've barely had a shot all half, I'm not sure we're going to take advantage. Ward at least adds to the shot count with a horrible effort. Marvin makes a horrible mistake. Stewart passes out of play. Gabriel looks knackered. Ipswich spend most of the extra time looking like they could score if they wanted to. Just blow the whistle and we'll all go home...
The minutes tick by like nails down a blackboard. Why the fuck are we pissing about at the back? Thank fuck, there's the whistle...
---
After such games it's tempting to assign FAULT and DEMAND NEW PLAYERS like entitled Sky TV pundits having a strop but I can't be arsed. We were crap after about 38 minutes and without Madine we just can't establish possession in dangerous areas. Most of the first half we looked quite good, but we had no answer once the break was taken out of the equation. Other people can say whose fault it all was. I'll say, it was one of those days and leave it at that.
Sometimes watching a shit performance on a muddy pitch can sap the will to live. This was one of those days. Should have played Super Joe. I think what sums it up is, after 75 minutes, Id have shoved Marvin up front cos nothing else looked like having any impact so we might as well have twatted it at Ekpiteta and hoped for the best.
Meh.
We go again... Get fit soon Gaz you fucking rock and roll star...
Sullay and Husband link well on the left. Jerry harries and turns a poor cross into a corner through hard work. Embleton skids it in low and Thorniley turns it just past the near post.
It's all been looking quite decent until we don't really clear it convincingly, Marvin's long ball being cut out and Ipswich working it quickly till they have an overlap and acres of space on the right side of the box, but fortunately it's all a bit much for Luke Thomas who rushes his shot and shanks it well wide.
Not for the first time, Gabriel steals possession and sets Pool going forward with a run then a neat lay off for Embleton. He takes a few steps and absolutely lashes it from 25 yards, forcing a sprawling stop... In reply, there's a glimpse of Ipswich's potential. A lovely 15-20 pass move ends with the ball in the back of the net but the offside flag up.
Then all the promise evaporates. Sullay is carrying it on the break, he tries to set Virtue and Yates away who are free on the right, his ball is just not high or quite heavy enough and is just about cut out. Pool have raced forward, but now Ipswich are going the other way. Three passes and they're on the edge of the box, where Alan Judge lashes it home, one awkward bounce off the wet turf and Maxwell beaten at the near post. It all seemed a bit easy.
---
It's been tight and I think we've slightly edged it but we're losing. There was a spell around half way where Embleton and Kaikai were linking and we looked like we might really have something. Then the little through balls started to get cut out and we looked a bit hurried and a bit less slick.
I do think we've got to get Virtue into the box a bit more. I'd be wanting Embleton to wander out wide right a bit more and getting Virtue to drift in. It's tricky. Do we bring on Simms and lose the nice shape we've had or stick to it... I'm honestly not sure.
I also wonder about stats at half time. According to them, we've only had 1 effort on goal (including off target ones). I count at least 4. Presumably headers don't count or something. Who knows. Stats are shite.
---
Maxwell makes a good stop from a well worked Ipswich move, thrusting a fist up as he springs upward like a jack in the box to turn it over. From the corner though, lonely Jerry flicks it on perfectly for the Ipswich no 6 to charge in at the far post and bundle it home. Fucking hell Pool
Ipswich look a different side to the cautious and slightly nervous looking team when we were playing well. They've got closer to Embleton and that seems to have stifled us and without Madine our attempts to be direct just look wasteful as it doesn't stick up front at all. We get a nice bit of possession at least, but for all the passing and movement, they can sit deep and when the move culminates in Gabriel hopefully falling over in the box, it's seems emblematic of our problem.
The game is getting a bit hairy. Gabriel gets forward and whips it in, it almost leads to an own goal, and nearly breaks for Virtue, who hacks at it multiple times like a miner with pick axe trying to break down a stubborn rock, but it just doesn't fall for him. Town break, and Maxwell sprints out and takes their forward out. Somehow, it's only a yellow (thank fuck) but from the free kick, they waste a free header.
C'mon Critch.... Freshen things up. Critch hears the cry all the way down in East Anglia and sends on Chaotic Demi for Matty 'sort of boy you'd hope your daughter brought home' Virtue. We have a little move and Kaikai and Jerry show nice feet before Sullay (who seems to now be up front) wallops it miles over. Sullay, who will no doubt be at fault in the aftermath for the national debt, AIDs and the death of Father Ted, gets booked as he makes a frustrated challenge.
Demi makes a mad run all down the touchline then over the goal line for good measure.. Classic Demi. Come the fuck on Pool. That kid from Rochdale that looks a bit like Greta Thunberg nearly cuts Husband in half. Mitchell heads way over. Where is Simms? We're not doing very well but I think the Town defenders have got a mistake in them... Risk it Critch... C'mon! Then I spot Mike Garrity! He's showing the assistant ref a piece of paper that signifies that Simms is indeed coming on.
Marvin then makes an astonishing challenge to deny Town their 3rd. He's got some kind of matrix-like ability to predict the future and slow down time. Sullay who started well but faded away is coming off and Simms has 18 minutes. Town have lashed another effort at the near post and literally have broken the side netting so one of the blokes who were stood around at the tunnel mouth trots round with a bit of string. I think this is my highlight of the game. MOM? The fella with the string...
Surely fragile Luke would be a shout now? FFS. Critch is channelling me. In fact, it's not just the breakable lad with the lovely hair, but also technically gifted Grant and madcap Bez coming on... Gabriel (who has done pretty well) gets onto a long ball and can't quite steer it past the keeper. I make it 9 minutes on the pitch and Simms hasn't touched it yet. Off goes Embleton, Dougall and Jimmy...
Then Marvin goes to new level. Ipswich are taking the piss a bit now and work a perfect chance and Ekpiteta makes, what I can only describe as diving save without using his hands. Maybe we don't need a keeper?
Nothing good is coming of this game, but at least there's a novelty moment as the ref substitutes himself yielding the glorious site of him handing over the notebook and cards to the linesman. The sub linesman takes forever to get ready (as if he had to nip off like that Hamilton commentator) and when he does amble over to the touchline he looks for all the world like an aging PE teacher. Maybe the ref's hamstring is MOM?
We get 7 minutes of injury time, but seen as we've barely had a shot all half, I'm not sure we're going to take advantage. Ward at least adds to the shot count with a horrible effort. Marvin makes a horrible mistake. Stewart passes out of play. Gabriel looks knackered. Ipswich spend most of the extra time looking like they could score if they wanted to. Just blow the whistle and we'll all go home...
The minutes tick by like nails down a blackboard. Why the fuck are we pissing about at the back? Thank fuck, there's the whistle...
---
After such games it's tempting to assign FAULT and DEMAND NEW PLAYERS like entitled Sky TV pundits having a strop but I can't be arsed. We were crap after about 38 minutes and without Madine we just can't establish possession in dangerous areas. Most of the first half we looked quite good, but we had no answer once the break was taken out of the equation. Other people can say whose fault it all was. I'll say, it was one of those days and leave it at that.
Sometimes watching a shit performance on a muddy pitch can sap the will to live. This was one of those days. Should have played Super Joe. I think what sums it up is, after 75 minutes, Id have shoved Marvin up front cos nothing else looked like having any impact so we might as well have twatted it at Ekpiteta and hoped for the best.
Meh.
We go again... Get fit soon Gaz you fucking rock and roll star...
utmp
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