I'd love to spend some time aimlessly. I would like throw sticks into a river and observe how the current takes them. I would like to watch the unpredictable pattern that raindrops take down a window. That sort of thing.
The most very royal king of all football (His very eminent lordship Big Gaz) is up front again in his role of 'being both Teddy Sheringham and John Fashanu at the same time.' It appears Critch does love Jordan Thorniley after all as he's back for Reece 'looks like old bloke' James. Jimmy goes to left back and CJ replaces Kirk. It seems we're set up to break. Soak it up and pounce... Fast.
Let's have it!
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Their shape is tricky for us to deal with. The ball keeps falling between our players who look a bit confused about it all. Gaz takes a knock to face. Kev loses it and Sheff Utd break... Just wide. Kev loses it again. Sheff Utd blast it over. C'mon Kev!
Gaz flicks. CJ picks it up. Dujon is wider still. The ball comes in and finds its way back to Madine. He knocks it up and volleys wide but it's worth writing about because it's headed back first time by a fan in the south, who earns a cheer and possibly a headache.
The lino keeps giving them corners for no reason. Then he gives them a free kick in the corner just for the mad banter. These linos just keep on excelling. The ref agrees cos he's in on the joke.
The ball is shifted square, Connolly carries it, crosses it, Madine heads from about 12 yards out. Not far away. Madine then goes from Fashanu to Sheringham with an outrageous back back to goal blind pass to nearly set CJ away.
We get caught uncharacteristically out of shape. Sheff Utd shift it, we're chasing desperately, trying to get into shape again, but looking very wonky... Dujon to the rescue. Brilliant tackle.
Bowler runs. He's been tied down so far but here he is, Inside, outside. Like a slalom skier between flags till he's chopped down. Booking... Dougall takes an awful set piece.
Bowler runs again. Slips it to CJ who knocks it back but Josh has run past where CJ thought he was.... The Blades break in a split second. Grimmy is out.. he slips... shit!!! ... bounces up and clears then goes back to doing circles on his BMX whilst blowing smoke rings.
Suddenly a game breaks out.
Bowler runs like dream. Gaz, for once gets his radar wrong as he spins and plays in behind the man on the overlap.
Bowler drifts inside. Bowler shoots, it cracks the bar!!! It loops, it falls, players pounce. It ricochets about .. Handball!!!! Handball!!!!
Fucking refs.
Dougall, who shouldn't take set pieces, then takes a great set piece, a hanging diagonal ball that sits perfectly in the air for Madine who somehow has found space, but oh, Gaz... The header is poor, tame and straight at the keeper. Maybe Gaz is more like a Greek god. His fallibility is all part of his mythos. All Hail Gaz.
Bowler nutmegs his man and explodes past him like a greyhound out the traps only to be yanked back by his leash as he's fouled. No foul. Fucks sake ref!
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Attritional. Battling. Cagey. Have we been marginally better than them? Not sure... Maybe. It was really hard going at first, but we improved and were going well in the latter part of the half..
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A far post ball. Husband pops up. Connolly (that can't be right... *checks notes*, nope, it is Connolly) with a near post back heel into the advertising boards.
CJ wins a corner... Sheff Utd break. Kev saves the day with the slide tackle of century. The anticipation of a challenge like that is a great thing. I love it when you can see it coming and then the player goes in even harder than you imagined. Kev just gets up and struts away. He could have done a mic drop gesture after that and it would have been reasonable, even though a mic drop gesture is always fucking horrific. .
CJ wins another corner. Let's just say this. Kenny shouldn't take corners....
Sheff Utd waste a free kick in the corner that the refs gave because Sterling tackled someone. We create an ooooh as the ball goes left to right and across the box but is smuggled away before Gaz can do any damage.
Kev holds off his man and slides in Bowler. He passes behind Dujon. Kenny slips CJ... CJ is in... C'mon!!! The ball cannons into the north stand... We keep making positions but not quite taking a chance.
When I was a kid, I went to museum that had a victorian animated diorama. I was fascinated by the intricate movement of the figures, all constrained by their clockwork track but weaving an intricate pattern through each other and around obstacles. I've never found anything that moved in quite such an engaging way until I saw Josh Bowler thread his way through a defence. (I'm quite pleased with that image, but I think we'll stick with the chant as it is, what with 'a left and a right step over' being a more succinct way of putting it than I have...)
Anyway... it's Bowler again. When he goes, It looks like the defence are figures in the above diorama, like they're programmed to get out of way... Somehow ref doesn't give us a corner. Jimmy is apoplectic. Josh is raging. I'm fucking fuming.
Sheff Utd apply pressure for a while. Jimmy makes a loose touch in the box. Thorniley crunches in to save him. Corner... Goal. Ffs. Fuck off. Flares and the hollow sound of the other lot cheering. Fuck off.
Not a goal. Ha! Brilliant! I said these linos know what they're doing...
The Blades hit a superb diagonal... Marvin pulls out an even better tackle.
Critch is going berserk on the touchline, turning round and pulling his big coat, then flailing wildy at the ref. He's making his point with extreme mime. Go on Neil. Go lad. Run on and lay one of them out!
The imp of tactics sends on Lavery and Kirk... Kirk immediately picks out Madine. Gary does the oil tanker on a sixpence thing he does and spreads it. Lavery is through but not quite.
Jerry comes and twinkles, all jaunty angles and sprinting with high feet like a skittish pony... Again we don't get a corner. Charlie Kirk seems a pleasant sort of lad but he goes mental. Maybe we should just go and smash the windows at the EFL or something. Critch with molotov cocktails. Ian Brunskill looks the sort who'd know how to make them.
Corner to Sheff Utd from another last ditch Thorniley tackle... Under the bar... (Kenny, take note)... Panic. Grimmy flails... It's away. Thank fuck...
Lavery is racing free... C'mon!!! Go on Shayne!!! He plays in Kirk. Kirk gets caught.
If you could put Kirk's brain and technical ability into CJ's body... What a player you'd have.
The whistle goes.
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They're totally drained. I love this team. I'm wrecked. Life is too hard but I don't give a fuck tonight cos they gave everything. Everything. They're gutted. They shouldn't be, but they are.
We love you Blackpool. We do.
It's been a right dogfight of a game. We've been defensively excellent. Marvin was imperious, Dujon terrific, Connolly played a roving role, popping up all over the shop from centre back, Jimmy has played 2 games in a week where he wasn't supposed to play at all and he was good again, though I thought he got a bit loose as he got unsurprisingly leggy and Thorniley was rightly the man of the match, showing awareness, calmness, timing and crunching tackles.
We couldn't quite find the moment. Madine could have done better with one of his chances. We maybe should have had a penalty. Lavery maybe should have taken the last minute chance himself. To be fair, they maybe should have had a goal cos I have no idea why it was ruled out and they were less shit than a lot of Championship sides have been.
It's a fair result. It shows us for what we are. Incredibly hard working and disruptive and every bit a championship side. I thought the player we needed tonight was Sonny Carey to add the ability to carry the ball, hit a shot, thread a pass and so on. We had the better of quite a lot of the game but we just needed a bit of guile and quality.
Let's have a rest. Football is relentless. Life is relentless.
Onward
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