Football Blog: Tangerine Flavoured

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Keepy Uppy (A review)

The BBC seem really keen to tell us that the Premier League is fabulous and that it's just getting better by the week in their new documentary 'Fever Pitch'.

It's weird that the BBC want to tell us that when their role is to tell a story with balance as opposed to further the mythos of what was and remains an exercise in ideology and greed. Whilst it's undeniable that the riches of the Premier League have brought things like stadium developments and funded some community work, it's equally true that, judged purely in sporting terms (assuming that good sport is defined as 'competitive' or 'dramatic') the Premier League has been a bit of a disaster if you follow any of the 86 clubs who have almost no chance of winning anything ever. 

I bring good news though. You don't have to watch the BBC to get the inside track on the Premier League. One of the famous Adrians who are sometimes on the radio and support West Brom has made a short documentary about it. At a slimline 33 mins it's probably quicker than reading one of my articles and a damn sight more colourful to boot.

It's a great primer on the basic issues created by football's 1992 breakaway act. For fans who don't really grasp the impact the Premier League has had, it's a perfect summary. The more world weary amongst us might think it's going nowhere they haven't already been in the first few minutes, but bear with it. The insight from the likes of Andy Holt and Keiron Maguire is as sage as you'd expect but the unlikely star (outside of ever avuncular presenter Adrian Goldberg) is posh Sunderland baddie Charlie Methven who demonstrates a clinical understanding of the games issues and expresses them with clarity and precision. You might already know about what he talks about but he absolutely hits the mark.

The highlight for me (outside of a terrific scene in which football finance and greed are expressed by literal slices of cake) is the exactness with which Methven explains that notions like glory and joy (exemplified in a moving account of West Brom's 1968 FA Cup win) are no longer of any interest to those who run clubs as the FA Cup adds little to "the capital value" of a football club.

Who needs tears of delight? Who needs the once in a lifetime joy of a giant killing or the pride of small town glory? Why should football be a game for the nation where we can all hold on to the belief that one day it might be our turn?

What does that compare to the sheer wonderment we all feel when we know that finishing 17th has secured the capital value of our club for another year? After all, as the famous song goes "Que Sera Sera whatever will be will be, we finished 17th, looks good on the balance sheet"

This isn't a documentary that will change your life if you already know a little bit about football finance. What it feels like though, is the tip of an iceberg. It feels as if there could be hours more content here. It feels like Goldberg, an established presenter and skilled content maker could tell a hundred other stories and his guests could take us much further down this road and, the further we travel, the more the key points this piece identifies will be emphasised. The game is crammed full of bad owners, basketcase finances and fans fed up of the ceiling they can't break through and the stagnation of the league tables. 

It feels like the media we need. The questioning the game deserves. A timely reminder that football itself isn't the Premier League or the FA or for that matter, the top 6, the EFL or the circus of hangers on that surround it. Football is what we want it to be. Football can be different. You may or may not agree with the individual elements of the manifesto the documentary concludes with, but that's almost less important than an exercise in imagining that the game could be run in a different way.

It's also a crucial exercise in reminding us that, for all the worthy work of fans associations and the laudable approachability of the people running the fans led review, the battle for the soul of football will require radical action. Tweaking the edges of the way fans are treated and making a few minor adjustments to the size of the crumbs that drop from the top table for the rest of football is a start, but it's a long way from creating a situation where most clubs are stable and success is a prospect we can all dream of.

People like me write shit blogs about it. Some people write good books about it. There are excellent podcasts about it, 
It's all a bit niche though.

What Goldberg has done is take a series of seemingly quite complex issues and compressed them into an easily digested and engaging half hour without diluting the meaning and value of his message. It deserves a platform. These things need saying and he says them in a straightforward way that gets to the point quickly. 

This isn't moaning. It isn't 'it was better in the old days.' It's a simple challenge to those who govern football to make some simple, but radical adjustments in order to improve the game. If we can accept VAR and insane rescheduling and stupid rules about who gets into what competition and every visible surface being branded with betting ads and all the other shit ideas they've inflicted on us, them we have a right to talk back and ask for some competition as a bare minimum as reward for our continuing loyalty to the game. That's the sort of message you'd hope the BBC would have the courage to broadcast as it is literally in the interest of the national game and thus, the nation. 

More of this sort of thing. It's what I would like to pay my license fee for. Not puff pieces on how Rupert Murdoch saved the day. 






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