I'm tired. This game has come too quickly. I want to bask in the (relative) glory of Saturday a little longer, feel a tiny bit of optimism in my veins. I'm not ready for another game, let alone another game against a side who, of late seem to have our number.
I blame Gary Megson.
Cunt.
At least it's not pissing down. That's a very English observation but I am English and this is England so it's valid. I fancy us if we can turn it into a football match but less so if it's a fight in a storm so the easing of the weather across the day is a sign that the forces of the universe are tangerine at heart***.
Possibly. When I think about our injuries and the hopeless luck of Andy Lyons, it seems less like whatever deity is in charge is smiling on us. Maybe it's a polytheistic world. The Greek gods were always falling out with each other over stuff so perhaps Achilles** is a PNE fan and whoever* is god of the weather a seasider.
*I've Googled it and it seems there's multiple gods who do different weather stuff including Zeus...
**Classical scholars (I'm sure there's many, many of them reading) may wish to note I know that Achilles isn't the god of unfortunate footballing injuries but it's too tempting a pun. Ha ha. #jokes #banter #ffsthisisshit - Apparently, there is no specific injury tsar but Oizys deals with misery and distress and the Algea, (me neither, never heard of either of them) misery and pain. The man we seem need is Asclepus, god of healing and medicine. (who knew?) Tbh, I'd settle for Phil Horner.
***This opening I wrote before the game. God, the gods, physics or whatever it is that controls stuff is clearly out to make our collective lives a misery.
---
Anyway, football. I'm not sure I'd have picked this team. I quite liked having two actual strikers and whilst I still love Josh, (I'll always love Josh) he's been more the ghost of Josh than the electric one of late and I really like Randall so there we go.
We start almost straight away with a sharp move from County and a low drive wide. They look purposeful. Tightly coiled, energetic. For a little while we live with them and there's a game. CJ chases one down, pulls it back and Bloxham screws wide. Bowler, a sharp turn, a moment that speaks of what I wish he'd do every time he gets it, but County are back in his face the second he's got a bit of space and the through ball is wild as a result.
Someone is down. It's fucking Honeyman. We don't need this. Jaunty openings about injuries and divine will aside, it's just one thing and then another thing. Lee Evans has come on. Now, you can find plenty of opinion on Lee Evans elsewhere - all I'll say is, he doesn't bring the same kind of energy to a game that Honeyman does and leave it at that...
Still, there's hope isn't there? A ball over top.. Bowler has wriggled away,... He's on the charge, for a split second we're in the Championship again and Josh is bearing down on goal, the ground is full and every nerve is jangling... We're not though. The ground is half empty, we're silent and sullen and Bowler hasn't got the burst of pace or the belief and he hesitates, indecision cursing through his nerve ending and he plays it Bloxham, who isn't really free and the shot is part blocked and loops up and away, harmless.
The excitement pretty much ends there.
The excitement pretty much ends there.
County hit the bar. A swerving shot after a flat clearance. Their fans are the sound of a team and a club on a steady upward climb, together, noisy, confident. The 'ooooh' they make as the ball smacks the woodwork is louder than any sound we make all night.
A period of sloppy passes. Evans looks cool, a touch and turn, like a lower league Zidane, but the effect is somewhat undermined by the fact the ball barely leaves his foot and leaves Zac Ashworth treading water trying to reach it. We can't put anything together. CJ as usual is getting moaned at but we're all shit.
Stockport wander up the pitch. No one does anything till Bowler runs at the man with the ball. A simple pass cuts him out the game. A ball in. A runner, a header, no chance the keeper gets anywhere near it. Not even an attempted challenge after Bowler's doomed effort on halfway. Too easy. It looked like the first team playing the youth team.
...then, shortly afterwards, nothing much happening, pass, pass, diagonal run, low shot. Goal. Far, far, far too fucking easy. There's nothing else to say. They literally just made a few passes, they didn't even appear to be especially cute passes and then scored.
AAAAAAARGH.
We're 2-0 down and both goals seemed to owe a lot to a great big space in the middle of the pitch. Usually teams have some people there who try and stop the other team scoring, but we seem to have not bothered with that.
Well done everyone.
AAAAAAARGH.
We're 2-0 down and both goals seemed to owe a lot to a great big space in the middle of the pitch. Usually teams have some people there who try and stop the other team scoring, but we seem to have not bothered with that.
Well done everyone.
What do we muster... ? What's the sum total of our spirited response? How do we get the fans back on side? I can think of a cross that looked vaguely like something round about the right sort of thing, CJ runs into someone and everyone groans, but fucking hell, if you think the problem with this club is literally 'CJ' then you aren't paying attention to the 4 years of solid decline are you? At least he didn't pass it back to the keeper which seemed to do every other time we got the ball. Bloxham runs after a long ball... we win a throw in. Start the party.
I can't cite anything resembling a shot or a decent move. The yawning void in midfield remains. County make chances, we look miles off.
I can't cite anything resembling a shot or a decent move. The yawning void in midfield remains. County make chances, we look miles off.
---
I don't know how to fix this. I'm going to have to say 'bring back Gary Madine' because actually, would it really be any less effective if we just battered it at big Gaz as he stood still and threw defenders about? Probably not.
---
Evatt has shifted things about - we seem to be playing 433 - Randall is on for CJ on the left of the attack. We chase a few back to the keeper. I think 'well, ok, he's done something' and hope that it works.
There's a sickening crunch between BPF and their attacker as they both go to meet a ball forward. All we need now is another injury. Mercifully the keeper is ok. The Stockport man isn't. I think about how vicious crowds as I notice that my first thought is not 'I hope he's not hurt' but 'fuck, the sub keeper has been awful'
We don't need to wait long for another injury though. Randall's hamstring has gone. He's played less than 90 minutes for us overall and he's broken. For fucks sake. I'm actually lost for words. Ennis comes on and on we go. Do we have to? We could just call it 2-0 and walk off surely?
We don't need to wait long for another injury though. Randall's hamstring has gone. He's played less than 90 minutes for us overall and he's broken. For fucks sake. I'm actually lost for words. Ennis comes on and on we go. Do we have to? We could just call it 2-0 and walk off surely?
A County player limps off. It doesn't seem to impact them. They are a machine and their bench is made of spare parts, oil and grease. We're a fucking bundle of rags and sticks and our bench is a tatty split carrier bag and some pocket lint. The metaphor doesn't make any sense but it's how I feel. Call it abstract poetry or something.
Finally something resembles an attack. Ennis chasing onto a ball looks to be pulled back. We get a corner. Put the bunting out and all gather round and sing songs of joy and hope. Needless to say nothing happens from the corner because nothing ever happens from our corners.
A minutes applause. I don't mean at all to be glib, but it's probably the highlight of the game. It's just a moment of togetherness in a tepid and tetchy crowd on a cold night. It's just a moment where you have to reflect on mortality and how when you're gone, the football goes on and how many people are all here, connected by the one thing. Football is such, it's something we share in life. Life is fleeting. RIP.
During this, BPF makes a very good low save to his left, again the chance coming from allowing County space to get into the centre of the pitch, control things and shoot under no great pressure. No one seems to be bothered. I don't know why they aren't fucking raging at each other to get a fucking grip.
During this, BPF makes a very good low save to his left, again the chance coming from allowing County space to get into the centre of the pitch, control things and shoot under no great pressure. No one seems to be bothered. I don't know why they aren't fucking raging at each other to get a fucking grip.
The same thing happens again shortly after. BPF is just about the only candidate for 'wasn't shite' as he makes another save.
You'll never guess what happened next. A player Blackpool FC recently signed did something. For 10 points, can you guess?
Was it a bit of skill? Did he earn the adulation of the supporters with a goal, a last ditch tackle, a brilliant dribble or a defence splitting pass?
Which one was it?
It's a trick fucking question!!!
He got injured. Because that's what we do!
You'll never guess what happened next. A player Blackpool FC recently signed did something. For 10 points, can you guess?
Was it a bit of skill? Did he earn the adulation of the supporters with a goal, a last ditch tackle, a brilliant dribble or a defence splitting pass?
Which one was it?
It's a trick fucking question!!!
He got injured. Because that's what we do!
Grant limps off, Brown goes to full back. Obafemi comes on. It doesn't seem to make any visible difference to anything.
Husband miskicks, They're all over it, pull it back, shot from point blank range - BPF pulls off a wonder save. No one can really be arsed clapping him. It's really one of those nights. It been one of those seasons, it's been season up on season of going backwards...
Then a moment of brief hope - Ennis has a one two with Fletch and puts the latter through. He looks certain to score and with 10 minutes to go, we might just shake them and anything could happen. Fletcher, calm as you like... rolls the ball wide.
County fans are singing 'we're taking the piss' as they knock it about and generally look like scoring a third. I'm wondering why I'm still here. The ground is emptier by the minute.
Finally, we have a shot on goal. In fact, we score. It's quite a good goal too, but it doesn't feel like a goal, more like something that happened before I went home that I sort of vaguely register. BPF launches it, Husband jumps and nods it across the box, Bowler is there, the ball bobbles up and he smashes it home. It would be a great moment if it mattered - but it doesn't.
The whistle goes. I pretty much run out the ground.
---
It was absolutely shit. We looked half arsed and without Honeyman had no bite at all in midfield, to the point where it felt we'd got two players in Evens and Brown who both wanted to sit deep and dictate which left, of all people, Josh Bowler running about trying to get the ball. That's the worst idea ever.
County, I've made clear were good. 1-2 flattered us to be honest. There was no point after the first 10 minutes where I felt we had anything like a control of the game. There was no point where I felt like we threatened. Had Fletcher scored then who knows but it would have been a royal smash and grab job to get anything out of that and to be so outplayed at home feels deeply depressing as does the fact we've got more injuries and therefore we'll be playing either a new shape we've barely, if ever played or more players out of position.
Evatt didn't get it right tonight - but we've been getting it wrong overall little by little for a long time and here we are, mired near the bottom of the league, in a position way below par for the budget we have. Questions don't start with Evatt - they start elsewhere and he needs time and patience. He wasn't my pick - but he's a serious man, a football man and he's got to have the time to do a job because others at the club have had a lot, lot longer and we've been served up an endless parade of changing ideas as we flit from one thing to another with no guiding idea and a load of half fit players.
I'm beyond saying 'if we picked/dropped this player' or 'if we played/didn't play this formation' - we need to get a fucking grip as a club and decide what we are and be that and recruit players and managers accordingly and pull our fingers out of our arses and stop drifting along being shitter every season that passes because Evatt's inherited a directionless mess and it shows. Standards come from culture and context and it feels like we're nothing in that respect. It feels like we've no soul, no real energy. The crowd is dead, there's no real sense of 'Blackpool' meaning anything beyond 'some footballers who signed a deal and happen to play together and a manager who happened to be available' - the sum of the part is not adding up to be greater than the whole.
FFS SAKE POOL..
We go again.
Onward.
County fans are singing 'we're taking the piss' as they knock it about and generally look like scoring a third. I'm wondering why I'm still here. The ground is emptier by the minute.
Finally, we have a shot on goal. In fact, we score. It's quite a good goal too, but it doesn't feel like a goal, more like something that happened before I went home that I sort of vaguely register. BPF launches it, Husband jumps and nods it across the box, Bowler is there, the ball bobbles up and he smashes it home. It would be a great moment if it mattered - but it doesn't.
The whistle goes. I pretty much run out the ground.
---
It was absolutely shit. We looked half arsed and without Honeyman had no bite at all in midfield, to the point where it felt we'd got two players in Evens and Brown who both wanted to sit deep and dictate which left, of all people, Josh Bowler running about trying to get the ball. That's the worst idea ever.
County, I've made clear were good. 1-2 flattered us to be honest. There was no point after the first 10 minutes where I felt we had anything like a control of the game. There was no point where I felt like we threatened. Had Fletcher scored then who knows but it would have been a royal smash and grab job to get anything out of that and to be so outplayed at home feels deeply depressing as does the fact we've got more injuries and therefore we'll be playing either a new shape we've barely, if ever played or more players out of position.
Evatt didn't get it right tonight - but we've been getting it wrong overall little by little for a long time and here we are, mired near the bottom of the league, in a position way below par for the budget we have. Questions don't start with Evatt - they start elsewhere and he needs time and patience. He wasn't my pick - but he's a serious man, a football man and he's got to have the time to do a job because others at the club have had a lot, lot longer and we've been served up an endless parade of changing ideas as we flit from one thing to another with no guiding idea and a load of half fit players.
I'm beyond saying 'if we picked/dropped this player' or 'if we played/didn't play this formation' - we need to get a fucking grip as a club and decide what we are and be that and recruit players and managers accordingly and pull our fingers out of our arses and stop drifting along being shitter every season that passes because Evatt's inherited a directionless mess and it shows. Standards come from culture and context and it feels like we're nothing in that respect. It feels like we've no soul, no real energy. The crowd is dead, there's no real sense of 'Blackpool' meaning anything beyond 'some footballers who signed a deal and happen to play together and a manager who happened to be available' - the sum of the part is not adding up to be greater than the whole.
FFS SAKE POOL..
We go again.
Onward.
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