Worrying: the Mighty vs panic?

The season has not gone to plan so far. Granted we're only 10.86% of the way through the league fixtures - but we're were already at a point where, (were everyone in the fan base similarly inclined to calculate percentages on the google search bar calculator as I am,) they'd be darkly muttering 'the remaining 89.14% of games better fucking improve, or we're in the shit' 

The question that is always relevant at this time of year is - 'Are we any good?' - the answer sadly this year, so far anyway, is a resounding 'are, you mad, obviously not'.

Let's look at the evidence: 

Good things: 

Niall Ennis has been excellent. George Honeyman had one sensational game and has given everything in others. Olly Casey hasn't left and hasn't really been individually at fault for much in the last couple of games and seemed to be more or less Olly Casey. See also Albie Morgan. Bailey Peacock Farrell can belt a goal kick a long way and hasn't thrown the ball in his own goal for a couple of games. 

You can see, by the end of the list, there are distinct straws being clutched so tightly, that they leave lines on the palm of my hand. 

If we look collectively at our qualities as a team, things get even worse. Ask yourself, have we seen much evidence of any of the following? 

- Good at attacking set pieces? 
- Good at defending set pieces? 
- Dominating midfield? 
- Breaking well (or 'quality in transition') 
- Retaining the ball for periods effectively
- Winning the ball back regularly and quickly especially in central midfield
- Effective direct play 
- Movement off the ball
- Patterns of play that suggest awareness of how we all fit in to a greater whole
- I'll stop now because it's getting very depressing. 

You might be able to pick an individual moment or two which demonstrates quality in one or more of those areas. (we had one really nice break against Plymouth for example) What I would humbly suggest to you however, is, no one, not even the most relentlessly optimistic reader of games would be able to suggest that we've established any of the above as 'something we're good for long spells at game after game' - which is problematic, because to be a team that challenges for promotion (our stated goal), we've probably got to be good at most of those things in most games we play. There is, without doubt, latent potential - but  football matches aren't won by 'vague signs' or 'hints' of quality. 

Bad things: 

Results are only results - performances are actually the most important thing in football. Results can sometimes mask things. Are they doing so for us? I'd say 'no' sadly.

On Saturday, we played the worst team in the league up till this point and only a shot from distance really tested their goalkeeper. We conceded a poor goal, but our keeper made more decent saves than their keeper and they missed more gilt edge chances than we did (their effort on the rebound was an easier chance than Taylor missed after CJ's cross) - We lost (again) and whilst, had we scraped a draw it wouldn't have been a spectacular injustice, there is no way to spin that we deserved to win the game. This, unfortunately holds true for previous defeats. Saturday was, I felt, marginally better than some games we've played this year - but it was still a long way from the kind of performance that would leave most saying 'we just need things to drop for us - we're playing well but...' 

The most concerning thing of all is the general lack of bite and energy. On 93 minutes, we're losing. BPF has the ball in our box. He launches an excellent kick. We have quite a long time to get ourselves ready to challenge for it. The ball is in the air for a long time. As it drops, it becomes apparent that 

a) we haven't loaded the box. It is the last minute of a game we're losing and we don't have any more players up front for a long kick than we would have done at the start. 
b) No one (literally no one ) has tracked this kick properly and is going to challenge for it so it just fall harmlessly and the game ends. You rarely do score of a last minute long goal kick - but if you don't TRY to score from such a situation, baring their keeper inexplicably closing his eyes and letting it bounce over his and in (which happens even less) then you 100% ain't scoring

In the same game on about an hour, George Honeyman comes deep and picks up the ball. I scan his options and it becomes apparent to me that Morgan, Evans and Hamilton are all in a ruler straight line, level with Honeyman. What I've read as 'coming deep' is in fact, 'coming level with the majority of the other midfielders who are all as static as it is possible to be. The line exists long enough for me to almost (but not quite) screenshot it. It's only a couple of seconds, but it leaves you wondering what on earth we're supposed to do to get up the pitch if the players aren't going to move around for each other. 

Hayden Coulson backs off. He shadows, but at a distance where it's more like stalking in the bushes with binoculars then harassing an opponent. He backs off some more. The player crosses the ball and has enough space to lift the ball over Coulson without needing to deviate from his initial intentions... 

We could go on, those are just 3 random points from the most recent game, there's a litany of more serious mistakes that rendered on the page in flowery text would go on for a long time - but lets not. Lets move on to the next question. 

Why are we rubbish? 

This is the key question really. We have been rubbish. There's no way around it. What are the reasons? 

It's tempting to start with blame and and damnation and calls for hirings and firings and for everyone to be sent to Siberia (or at least tied to the legs of one of the Piers whilst the tide comes in) but instead, lets start with some mitigations. 

Injuries and suspensions have no doubt had an impact. Having one striker doesn't suit us and that one striker is short of match fitness. (that said, not registering the one striker was also a tragi-comic self imposed blow) Having one central defender way out of form and the only possible back ups to him injured is also a blow. Having the club captain and probably our most vocal leader defensively speaking out isn't ideal. Having the new right back injured is similarly problematic and starting the season without Albie Morgan who is the most energetic and dynamic player we had last season again, not ideal. Neither, for that matter was losing the player who seemed the biggest positive (Ennis) to a red card at almost the precise moment where it looked as if, for the only time this season, we might be starting to come together and be capable of some coherent and purposeful attacking football. 

Have we seen 'the best XI' - probably not. In fact, almost certainly not. In fact, I really hope not - because if one of the teams we've seen is 'the best XI' then we've got a problem as baring 20 mins against Huddersfield, we've not looked very good at all (the 60 mins defensive effort in that game was heroic, but you couldn't really draw any conclusions about how we might normally play from it) 

We could leave it there and conclude 'It's just bad luck' - but I don't think that's the full story. Whilst yes, the circumstance have denied us the opportunity to put the absolute first choice team out, the situation where everyone is fully fit and firing is a very rare one anyway. You HAVE to have a best XI and then a backup XI who are capable of deputising competently and/or adding variety so you can play in different ways if you need to. Yes, the squad depth is tested - but if we're a promotion side, that's something we should be able to cope with because our back ups should be able to do a job. 

We've consistently looked worryingly prone to people running through our midfield - which is strange, because we signed Jordan Brown who is well established in League 1 as very good at stopping that happening - but we played him at right back because the back up right back (Lyons) isn't trusted to play right back. Similarly, we look weak at left back (no Husband) but we don't play the available back up left back (Ashworth) so that weakness remains. Coulson isn't a bad footballer, he's just not a defensive left back and that's what we clearly need right now, especially because neither Hamilton nor Hansson are going to provide lots of cover for him and allow him to get forward as he needs to do to play to his potential. As I've already pointed out, BPF's kicking is a clear strength - but we don't have a striker who can win the ball in the air and hold it up. Fletcher isn't a convincing target man and Ennis and Taylor aren't big enough, whilst Bloxham makes Josh Bowler look like Gary Madine. At the same time, we've let Kouassi (the one really physical unit we've got) go and had to resort to putting Bondo on the bench (but not bringing him on when we're a goal down and desperately needing an extra forward with some presence - we've basically weakened the option we don't use anyway) 

If we throw back a few years to Stephen Dobbie's brief tenure as contrast - we played nice football and in every game we left with a sense of 'we did our best there' - two players who featured were Alex Lankshear and Brad Holmes. They played their parts in some decent performances - something, I think, shows that whilst neither player was a long term answer (Holmes has since played for Marine, Hyde United and is now at Curzon Ashton whilst Lankshear left this summer and signed for Boston United) sometimes, you should pick the best available attributes for the job and if the team is well coached and clear on their role, you can make it work.

To me, it seems weird that Lyons and Ashworth and for that matter, Kouassi have the best available attributes for particular jobs in the squad (and are by some distance more established, experienced players than Lankshear and Holmes) and we don't trust them to do the roles that we (succesfully) trusted two kids now in non-league to do at a higher level.

There's a point where the overall broad football aptitude of the players is less important than their ability to do the particular role - a better player out of position can be worse than a worse player in position so to speak. To take it to extreme, Messi at centre back would be shite, but he's the best player ever. There's also a point where the invisible attributes of a player (form, attitude, aggression etc) are more important than the technical ones and the energy brought to a team by a younger player trying to prove a point might more than compensate for the loss of a more experienced player who is lacking confidence in their own form.  

This brings me to a further point - it's not true to say we've been tactically rigid. We've used 532, 433, 451 and 442 this year so far. The problem has been, we've not looked very good at anything other than the preferred 442 (the 20 mins against Huddersfield) - this begs the question - why can't we do anything other than that? We have the most experienced, biggest and (I would assume) most expensive coaching staff in our football club's history and it seems odd that we can't set up effectively in anything other than roughly the way Manchester United played in 1992. 

If we genuinely can't play any other way, then it makes a lot more sense to use the squad to fit the players to the system and not change the system and shoehorn the same 12 or 13  players in, because by putting in a back up or youth player, you get the benefit of the other 10 players being in the right place and the experience on the pitch of playing to the plan and forming patterns of play. You may or may not find the back up is up to the job longer term - but you do get the relationships and positional play of the rest of the team more nailed down in a way you don't if you keep moving people around to plug gaps. 

I'm loathe to complain about tactical flexibility - but it feels as if we need to 'pick an idea' and stick to it for a while instead of looking as if anything we do that isn't 442 is leaving a sour taste and binning it after 45 minutes because we're not forming any habits by doing that. A new system might take a little while to get used to so to speak. 

We've also got the fact we've signed some players and we're not playing them. I really don't want to write about Sonny Carey and Rob Apter - but tactically speaking, we have to address this. Both of them had limitations - but both of them had the ideal strengths for Bruceball 24/25. We miss them like a middle aged man misses his metabolism and I think we've made some extremely odd tactical choices in trying to replace them. 

Let me explain. Our wingers sit quite deep - 442 is not 433 or 424 - It is characterised by the wingers having a starting position next to the central midfield. Sony and Rob are both extremely good at receiving a pass and then carrying the ball from that deeper point. Sonny was a ninja at being in space to take it and turn into the space he'd found and drive (under Bruce anyway.) Rob was as good at getting out of a tight space as anyone I've seen and leaving the man on him floundering - again, space in front to run int. This meant we could break effectively from the deeper position. Similarly, both of them were capable of taking the break to it's culmination. Sonny scored goals, Apter scored goals. They both were decisive and could take the ball deeper and be shooting a matter of seconds later. 

Tom Bloxham has some of those attributes but CJ has literally none of them. This isn't me slagging off CJ he is what he is - but he's a 433 winger - He needs the ball ahead of him and to be playing against the offside trap. I actually can't remember the last shot CJ had when playing in a deeper 442 role - whereas Carey had our most shots per game over the season. CJ isn't able to take a pass with the ease of Apter or Carey and he's not able to turn and use close control and he's not very adept at 'finding pockets of space' - because he was signed initially on the basis that he's be excellent at what he is excellent at - running fast, pushing it past the last defender and beating them. If we recall the dim and distant past when we played 433 - CJ was scoring and probably our most impactful player. He's never, ever nailed down a consistent run when playing 442. He always plays better when further forward. 

Expecting CJ to turn into Sonny Carey or Rob Apter is madness. It's like expecting Niall Ennis to be David Linighan or vice versa. What we're seeing is the classic collapse of CJ's confidence - because he knows what we know - he can't do this job effectively on a regular basis. Everyone gets fucked off with him and it's a recurring circle of misery and frustration for all (ole!) 

The really strange thing is - we've got Emil Hansson who is so gifted it hurts and Malcolm Ebiowei who look similar. Hansson has a kind of part Carey part Paul Simpson vibe - a bit prone to being peripheral perhaps, but full of evident skill and desire to shoot, run, cut inside or go outside. Ebiowei has a little bit of the Apter about him - he'll frustrate because he might not do his more boring duties, but then he'll glide through three players and you can't stay angry at him because, yes tackling is a thing but no one else can do that. 

I don't understand why we've signed players who (in terms of their basic football character at least) look like reasonable facsimiles of the players we lost who provided our creative spark and midfield threat and then don't play them. You could argue neither have yet impacted, but both of them seem to be reduced to coming on when we're already losing - a role that is simply not fair in terms of evaluating their potential impact when the game is more open - because, when ahead, other teams defend more - therefore a creative winger has a harder job and there's less chances to break, and the opposing full back is more likely to just sit - something that I think nullifies Hannson in particular. 

I'd argue that it's difficult to tell how effective some of the recruitment has been when we're not using it effectively because we're choosing players to play out of position or in a role within a system that doesn't suit them. 

Do we throw it all in the bin and start again? 

I don't know. Literally. Football is a game of opinions and all of that, but fuck me, it gets tiring listening to people talk with absolute certainty about things that haven't happened yet. 

I am definitely worried by what I've seen. The lack of effort, I'd put down (this is a guess, cos I ain't in the players heads) more to a lack of collective belief than the fact we've accidently signed 10 utter wastes of space who don't give a fuck about football. We've largely signed players with some pedigree and some recent success (relative to us) and football is unforgiving. You don't achieve things if you can't be fundamentally bothered to try. One or two intensely gifted player might waft around at a lower level than their talents really should propel them too - but very, very, very few players can simply 'not try' and forge a football career and our signings have all done that. They're not just blokes we found milling around in Coral Island and said 'do you fancy trying to be footballers?' 

Effort is collective - it comes from the group you are in, the atmosphere around you. What we call 'effort' often equates to instinct. If you are playing in a well drilled team, where everyone knows their role and everyone is running as hard as they can, you don't hesitate to throw yourself into the tackle or make the run - because a) you see everyone else doing it and b) you know someone has your back, there's cover 

I don't see this belief. Ennis can run like a nutter, because he's the highest man on the pitch - but behind him, they need to know where they fit in and it really doesn't look like it. We seem hesitant and doubtful. That's not a lack of effort per se - it's the fact that football is a team game with individuals playing roles - and when the trust isn't there then it's harder to play your role. Hesitancy (inevitable if you're not sure about the collective situation) gets the ball robbed, so you regress to doing the simplest thing you can and therefore the play becomes sterile and the crowd get restless and the other team press harder and so on and so on. 

This brings us back to the above points (we've not actually shown any tactical consistency (partly through bad luck and partly through bad design and we have some players who will never be comfortable in their current roles.) We also have a very big and expensive coaching staff. It is troubling that we don't seem to have formed any partnerships to speak of yet (barring perhaps Ennis and Fletcher who already had one) and the spine of the team, the full backs and the wingers are all a bit questionable in their effectiveness so far. The defence and the keeper haven't looked a unit, there's been very little quality interplay in midfield and we're not really playing many good through balls to the wide players/strikers. 

Apart from that it's great! 

This sounds like 'throw it in the bin to me' 

It does to me too - but let's give the counter point - We've ditched Critch after two games last season after signing a 532 squad to play 442. Ultimately, I enjoyed last year, but we ended up quite a way off. We gave Michael Appleton the backing in January and on February 2nd we got Mad Mick to put Morgan Rodgers on the bench whilst we lumped it at Ian Poveda and we were utter shit (QPR aside) thereafter till Dobbie came in and kind of did what Appleton was doing just better but it was too late. Critch walked out the season before and gifted Appleton a squad missing key players we never bought till we sacked him. Even Larry had a squad where he got some random players he'd apparently never asked for right at the beginning of all this. The seasons we've not had disruption (Critch post covid, Critch l1 to championship and even Critch 2.0 season 1) were our three best league finishes since the boycott. 

The point is - to have invested a lot in a new style and then but it in the bin will have its own dangers. If we assume Bruce DID want these players (and why wouldn't he have done so? If he didn't, then something has gone very wrong...) then is he the right person to work out the best blend? - The alternative is someone who might not want them at all but is stuck with them and is spending half their time planning for another rebuild which might never come?  

I don't know. I do know that constantly changing direction is not how Brighton or Brentford would do it. Endless abortive rebuilds are not possible, even with all the money in the world. Arsenal are streets ahead of Manchester United because they don't shit the bed every season and rip everything up - but then, that's kind of predicated on the fact Arteta is young and dynamic and a long term option and bless his increasingly worried and craggy face, Steve Bruce is not the long term future of the club in the way that, had history played out differently, Neil Critchley, Michael Appleton, Stephen Dobbie or Richard Keogh might have been. 

The past provides more certainty than the future It's already happened after all.

- Simon Grayson, Neil Critchley and Steve Mcmahon presided over promotions that started out like a shitshow. All of those seasons saw a lot of signings and a lot of initial doubt.

- Equally, of course, Lee Clarke, Neil Mcdonald presided over seasons that started like a shitshow and ended like a shitshow. Those seasons saw a lot of signings and a lot of initial doubt.

- Billy Ayre took us to Wembley after taking over from Graham Carr in a season that started like shitshow and (almost) ended in glory barring a less than optimal approach to penalties from one Dave Bamber.

- Lest we forget, Micheal Appleton and Paul Ince had seasons that ended like a shitshow and started well. 

- Gary Megson had a season that was sort of in between at the beginning and end but had a shitshow bit in the middle.

We could go on... 

Perhaps the past doesn't provide more certainty after all. It just shows that all outcomes are possible and you could do anything and not know what might happen as a result. 

Conclusions: 

The core problem is the players don't seem to have any belief. That is manifesting itself in a kind of languid apathy. Coulson is a great example. He oscillates between wild uncontrolled actions and looking like he's given up. He doesn't seem to know what he's doing in other words. Throw back to last year and he was playing pretty well, because, I assume he knew what he was doing.

In game decisions are reactive instead of proactive and even then, not truly reactive (i.e. why not throw everyone up front when we're losing by a goal - even Mick did that!) This is amplified by the fact a few of them aren't suited to their role, which in turn lowers the collective confidence and feeds that apathy. Only the really dynamic players with natural self belief rise above it but most players aren't like that in any squad. 

It looks, for all the world, like we're not really giving a detailed game plan. As above, players on form (Ennis) and players with a really strong sense of self (Honeyman) will cope - but a professional footballer has it drilled into them that they do the job that is asked of them. It's fine as a fan saying 'for the money they get, the cunts should know what they're fucking doing' - but in any role in life, you are paid to follow instructions and if you don't get enough detail or clarity in those instructions, then it will make you hesitant. Last season, the squad had a plan - but Bruce liberated them from it to an extent and that worked. You can't liberate a new squad from a plan that doesn't seemingly exist. 

It needs fixing with some hard work - sit down with the players and take their ideas - we've got a squad with experience here.

It has to be a clean slate for all because picking 'favourites' isn't yielding results. Go back to what we have (all of them) and pick the players that best fit a system and drill it. Work on their movement, work on their interplay and (in my humble opinion) get the most technically able players on the pitch going forward and the most energetic and physically able players on the pitch defensively and emphasise attack because we're not tight enough to play 'keep them out and pick them off' football and I can't see us being that with any permutation. That doesn't mean we can't be effective, it just means it might be an idea to work on the attacking, where I do see us being potentially very effective if we get the blend right and don't try and play in a way that relies on players we don't have (i.e. recourse to direct balls at little lads)

Who is best to do that...? I honestly don't know but whoever it is, it needs doing and it needs doing properly, seriously and quickly. When Bruce walked in, he got a tune out of us quickly so logic says, he should be able to step back, identify the issues and address them - that's literally the point of having such an experienced manager - a calm head to draw up on their past and address the issue. They've 'seen it all before' so to speak

A nagging question in my mind though is, 'was that initial 'Bruce Bounce' because Keogh had done the real hard work (turning a sterile and joyless team into a team with, yes, a tendency towards chaos, but nonetheless, dizzying attacking potential)?' and did Bruce simply provide a bit of structure and wisdom to a situation which was already resolving itself (i.e. we played brilliantly in Keogh's last game in the tinpot cup so the fact we played well in the next league game wasn't necessarily all down to the change) 

That question will never be answered. It doesn't stop me wondering it though. 

Only Steve Bruce can answer the question 'what next?' - but the answer has to be a variation of 'improvement - that's for sure' otherwise the knives will be sharpened... If he is able to draw on his huge past and apply it thoughtfully and effectively, then that's fantastic. The 90s football funhouse will rise again. If he can't, then sadly it will be a very flat and disappointing end to what looked like a lovely little unexpected football romance between a true football man and a proper football club. 

I've spent the entire blog questioning Bruce and to be honest, I'm struggling to reconcile this season with last. Bruce has OBVIOUSLY got qualities. He had a profound effect on numerous players. Kyle Joseph and Sonny Carey have literally been made financially and football wise because of him. Rob Apter thrived in his trust and playing a kid like Apter every week, come hell or high water, was brave. Albie is a much better player, He pretty much saved Ash Fletcher's career turning him from laughing stock to a kind of cult hero (in a way!). This is not a man who is without the ability to motivate. The evidence of our own eyes would tell us that. 

Motivation only gets us so far though - we need the underlying structure, the plan. In a way, it feels almost like the opposite of the end of the Critchley reign - but with strangely similar results - in that period, the players had all the plan but none of the motivation and freedom.

It feels like this is the polar opposite. To put it crudely 'Go and enjoy it lads, I trust you' is having the same effect as 'here's your 200 page dossier on why Crawley Town are Real Madrid in disguise and don't whatever you do, shoot outside the agreed parameters of inside the 6 yard box and then, only if the keeper is lying down off the pitch. Sonny, don't forget the boxes I drew in training and none of that dribbling nonsense - Have fun lads! ' 

The answer has to be part way between the two. Some of Bruce's humanity and obvious ability to get the best out of individuals by freeing them. Some of Critchley's obsessive attention to detail and ability to harness players to systems to get the best out of limited players. 

Only one thing therefore can save us. 

We therefore need: 

Steve Critchley.

FFS POOL. HOW ARE WE HERE MENTALLY ALREADY? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD! 

SORT IT OUT!

CAN'T HACK THIS MUCH LONGER...  IT'S FUCKING BOLTON NEXT WEEK! 

Onward

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Honeyman's Heroes - the Mighty vs Huddersfield Town

Imagine you'd woken up this morning and decided to write a blog where you tried to tell Steve Bruce how to manage a football team. Perhaps you'd suggested his tactics were a bit simplistic and his team lacked energy. Maybe you'd said he didn't really understand how a midfield works and how we needed to set that up differently because (and here's the real insight) the midfield is quite important... Maybe Steve hadn't noticed that before in the 1600ish games of football he's played and managed?  

How would you feel to have the utter shit you'd written, crammed down your throat till you gagged on the stream of self confident pseudo analytical drivel you'd spouted? 

You'd feel fucking fantastic - because the game of football is exquisite torture. It is fire, it is water, it is elemental chaos - the beautiful unpredictable and untamable nature of this beast is what has us in thrall to it. 

Here's to Steve Bruce and his 90s Football Funhouse and here's a middle finger to dickhead fans, especially those with a tedious blog who fancy themselves as a bit like that weird ginger lad who manages Southampton and who, actually, in the cold light of day, know the square route of fuck all.

I could do every coaching badge in the world, but Steve Bruce will still know 1000000 times more than me.

See what I did there? (FFS MCLF, get on with it) 

Lets do this. 

---

I don't like the team. It's a cheap supermarket brown bread 442. I know Cuddly Uncle Steve thinks it's good for us, but why can't we have some kind of fancy herb bread 4231 or maybe a sundried tomato 433. Why do we have to do the same thing every week. It's routine, It's humdrum. It's why are all those skillful players on the bench and why does Lee Evans get picked no matter what?. He's the fucking stork spread on the boring bread. I want something different. 

---

Around me, no one likes the team either and for a little while, it seems we are right and Cuddly Uncle Steve is a man trapped in his own past in a world that has moved on. Seemingly out of nowhere, Huddersfield score. I don't mean 'we're playing well and they score' - I mean 'fuck me, they seemed to just walk up to our goal and pass it into the net and we didn't do anything to stop them'. The keeper is nowhere, staggering but not diving as if concussed or dosed up on strong cough syrup, the defence just sort of stand in a variety of teapotty confused ways as if trying to work out what happened and whether it's their job to stop such things. To be honest, I've no idea from the other end if it was a good goal, a bad goal, a lucky goal or what - but it certainly wasn't one they worked hard at to score. 

There's a point where one of their players turns and runs at us and it's like there's a giant gap in the middle of the pitch for them to play in. This is shit. We are shit. We're going to get battered. 

Then, the turning point. We've barely got out of our half. A loopy deflection in midfield. Ennis chases it and when their defender misjudges it, Niall 'who need Jerry Yates?' Ennis is like a rat up a drainpipe, like a greyhound after a rabbit, like a real proper striker after a ball that is running nicely into an area that opens up the goal to him. He's taken it in his stride, he's cut inside at the keeper and he's found a delightful angle and the ball is curving in to the net in a most pleasing way, a cute finish and a great piece of forward play. 

It's a relief. We're not totally shit after all. We have Ennis. 

Ennis though, is not the only one who comes to the party. He's just the one who switches the music on. Suddenly we look good. Honeyman is everywhere. Brown is playing nicely and getting forward. Bloxham is looking more like he did when we first signed him than he has done since, well, we first signed him, dribbling, linking and busy. 

The second goal. I've been wondering where the actual Lee Evans has been for a good while. I don't know where he's been hiding - but it seems we've found him at long last because the give and go with Fletcher that ends with an absolute arrowing finish is outstanding. It's hit with such devastating power that if Trump said 'look, Vladimir, we're both great guys but if you don't stop being unkind to Ookraine, this is the kind of missile I'll send over ' and showed him a replay of Evans hitting that shot, then the Russian troops would be back behind their borders before you could say 'Shakhtar Donetsk' or 'Dynamo Kiev' 

Honeyman is just sublime. He's running this game. He's in all the little spaces to receive the ball but he's also in the faces of the opposition, he's at their ankles. He's like a horsefly, a proper little irritant. He's like a dragonfly too though, a thing of real grace and beauty. I notice Huddersfield's number 16 is a bit tubby and balding. He looks a bit like a 1960s footballer. That's a good thing. I think Jordan Brown looks like a 1980s footballer come to think of it. That's also a good thing. I could imagine both of them having proper jobs. I like that in a player. I think Jordan Brown would drive a Sierra and run a snooker table baize replacement business. The Huddersfield lad would be a fishmonger. 

I digress. I love how Honeyman takes ages to take a corner because he'll do it in his own time thankyou very much. I love even more, how after the corner isn't cleared brilliantly, he barrels in and by force of will directs the ball to Ennis who deceives the keeper totally by scuffing the ball under him and into the corner of the net. If the last finsh was cute, then this one is an overload of kittens in bows and fucking bunny rabbits wearing hats. It's absolutely lovely. I'm frankly in shock. We're 3-1 up, we look totally clinical and we've gone from being battered to absolutely blitzing them. 

There's more twists in this game.

Plenty more.

Out of nowhere, they score. This time I do mean 'we're playing well and they score' and the goal has plenty of luck about it. Their winger seems to clatter Jordan Brown but the ref waves it on because refs. Their striker entirely miskicks a shot but it rolls square, perfectly and somewhat ludicrously into the path of the spare man at the far post. Peacock-Farrell has done well not to react to the non-shot mishit and to get across to the unmarked man and close the angle, but he can't stop a crashing high finish into the roof of the net. 

Huddersfield once lost a game 7-6 and it feels like this could be similar. 

Then another twist - but this one feels like the turning of a knife in the back. It's been a great game but the ref changes its complexion in a split second. A loose ball. Ennis dives in. It'll be a ticking off or a yellow. I don't have time to finish that thought fully before the ref has the red card in the air. Ennis looks absolutely astonished and I feel like running on the pitch to confront:
a) the ref, who has taken no time at all to consider the decision and the challenge, whilst a bit wild didn't feel malicious or hugely dangerous
b) the Huddersfield player who goes down like he's shattered his leg in 3 places and then gets up again once the card is given and perhaps most of all
c) the absolute smug twat of a Town player who immediately shoves Ennis off the pitch like he's in charge and who the ref does absolutely nothing about, even though you aren't supposed to shove players and decide you're some kind of out of order self appointed doorman. 

I am distinctly unhappy. I don't enter the field of play, because I'm a middle aged man and this is only football but I'm as angry about this as I've been angry about anything for a while - so maybe that says something about me and my emotionally dead state or maybe it says something about how good this game has been.

I calm down a bit and wonder if maybe Ennis was too wild. I don't know. It feels like a challenge we'd never get a red given to the opposition for, but equally, one I can kind of grudgingly get why it's given in the end.  

Albie comes on for Fletcher. I am slightly cheered by that because Albie is great but I still feel more than a bit sick at the thought of an hour or so with ten men. 

We get to half time in one piece. 

--- 

I'm exhausted already. This has felt epic. We've been bad, brilliant, unlucky and lucky. It's been sensational but the second half will be a different ball game to the one that mostly played out before the break. That 7-6 game though, Huddersfield lost to 10 men then, so y'never know. It might still be on. 

--- 

I just can't write this half up in a calm linear manner.

It feels a bit like going to the bottom of the ocean in a tiny submarine to visit some deep wreck full of glorious treasure. Every minute that passes, the pressure ramps up. Every foot deeper, you become more aware of the danger and disaster and how terminal a mistake would be. The intensity of it all builds and builds and the closer you get to the prize, the more tension there is. 

Things happen. A lot of those things are George Honeyman. If he was good first half, he's absolutely incredible second half. He gives one of the best post-boycott displays I've seen. I may have, in the past, said one or two mildly positive words about both Gary Madine and Sonny Carey. I loved both of them, but for very different reasons. The best thing I could possibly say is that Honeyman today was like some kind of impossible but brilliant melding of parts of both of them - Gaz's attitude and fight (and indeed his football brain) and Sonny's technique and tireless legs. I didn't even think such a thing could exist but I didn't know George Honeyman... He's literally brilliant. There's skittering runs and clever passes, but there's also superb skullduggery. He's a captain. He's a playmaker. He's a disrupter. He's sneaking up over the shaving foam spray and not being 10 yards back cos it pisses the taker off. He's stealing the ball and dribbling around till you foul him and then taking ages to get up. He's always showing for it. He's making the break because there's no one up top. He's tracking his man all the way back from their area to ours because he's spotted their break before it started. He plays as well as I've seen a Blackpool player play in a long time and he's the best player on the pitch and maybe on any pitch in the division today. He's that fucking good. 

Bloxham tires. CJ goes up front. CJ causes chaos for 10 minutes. I've always thought he might be quite good in such situations doing this, because in essence, CJ is a lovable dog who just wants to chase a ball and this is exactly what he does. He does it very well until they change it up to cope.  

Coulson is having one of those games where he looks like a man being flung around in a tumble dryer until he falls out of it but keeps getting up and throwing himself back in when he does. That's a compliment, whether it sounds it or not. Zac Ashworth comes on and adds some further fight by sitting behind Coulson.  

The ballboy gets a prolonged applause when he doesn't bring the ball back very quickly. A hero. We actually manage some shots. They get cheered. Albie throws himself full length and blocks a shot. That gets cheered even more. Albie goes up front for a bit and plays as a target man which is something I never thought I'd ever write but not only does he do that, but he wins some headers doing it. Albie is wonderful. 

We run, we harry, we block, we get in line. We block, we block, we block again. We block some more.

Offside is like a goal. A tackle is like a goal. I look at the clock and it seems to be going backwards. Huddersfield are neat, they're inventive, they're getting wide, they're swapping passes, they're getting to the byline but they're not getting through.

Peacock Farrell claims it. Rapture.

Peacock Farrell claims another. More rapture.

Peacock Farrell comes again and completely misses it. Everyone's heart nearly falls out of their mouths.

Peacock Farrell goes to punch one and connects and we all breath again. 

Coulson with a desperate header away at the far post. Ihiekwe at the near post. Pause for a corner. Coulson fiddles with his headband. Casey breathes deeply in focus. In it comes.... Brown kicks it away then a minute later again and then again, just clattering it away like a rugby player aiming for the empty corner. I like Jordan Brown. He's no fuss. He does what is needed. No frills. Nothing unnecessary. 

Steve Bruce. A man in matalan slacks and matalan shirt. Also no frills. A man who is kicking every ball of this game. We only have 10 players, but on the touchline Bruce is the 11th. He's pointing, he's changing things, he's shouting players over. Now he's on the pitch, he's bawling instructions, he's holding up four fingers, then two to someone else and waving to show where he wants people. He's clapping. This is no washed up has been phoning things in. This is a man completely absorbed in a game that runs through his veins. This a man whose life is football and who is sharing all he's learned with players who need that knowledge right now. 

We don't have a spare centre back. We don't have a spare defensive midfielder. All of the usual things you'd do here aren't really open to him. He gives an absolute masterclass in how to play a hand of footballing cards and come out on top even if the hand isn't ideal. It's as good a display of in game tactics as I can remember for a long time. For all that Bruce might have a way of playing and a set preference, he's absolutely superb at reading a situation like this. The players respond magnificently, shuffling their positions, doubling up, swapping places. We're fluid and totally committed. Ashworth ends up front for 30 seconds having made the run for a break and CJ is straight into left back. It's that sort of performance. Each player has the back of the next. How have we done this, when last week it seemed like they didn't know each other's names? 

Finally, it seems as if we're getting there. It's been noisy all game, but now the ground is full of the kind of physical noise that lifts your soul. It's almost like you can feel it if you hold your arms out, like a kind of sonic mist, pulsing with the energy of thousands of souls all urging the team on. There's real belief, there's pride. There is nothing better than this. It's why we do it. It's why we come back. It's why all the shit games and non-events don't really matter because sometimes there's this and this is fucking magic. 

Huddersfield get frustrated. One of their players lashes out at Ashworth. I'm really warming to Zac and I warm even more to him as he squares up to his man and then just walks away leaving their lad fuming and muttering. When he came here, I thought he looked like a rabbit in the headlights but 6 months in Scotland seems to have toughened him up no end. 

Then, finally, Huddersfield have a shot. It take almost the whole half for them to manage one. It's a good one, it's low and hit well and Peacock Farrell is at full stretch, but it's one of those that seems to keep swerving as he flies to his right and for a second of stomach churning, heart stopping, horrible moment of fucking no, not after all this time and all this fight, please don't fucking go in, genuine horror, it looks like it's in the corner, but it's flashing past the post and into the hoardings and never has the smack of a football against some LED boards sounded so fucking good. 

There's still a few minutes and there's a foul by them. It's basically a goal. There's a clearance and a break and Albie fucking around in the corner is pretty much a celebration of life and everything. Him winning a throw is like the moment the beat drops and the hands go up... then... finally... the whistle and everything falls away. 

--- 

The players took their plaudits and acknowledged the fans, but they got off fairly quickly considering the reception they got and there was no great milking of the moment. That to me, feels like a side who mean business. Today was a relief for them. It was a great performance - but it was just three points. It was just the beginning for us. 

I can't say much more. It was perfect as a fan. It wasn't perfect in the way Manchester City might be 'perfect' in their efficient disposal of an inferior economic power - it was perfect in the sense of a team giving absolutely everything, regardless of any imperfections or challenges and as a fan, every split second was engaging and the rest of the world receded far into the distance. That is what matters, far more than anything else.

The first three games, there was very little sign of a 'unit' - today we were absolutely together and any sense that this lot weren't up for fighting or hadn't got faith in what the manager was doing can be put in the bin.

To get through that challenge (and it really was a challenge today and on the back of the poor start) and come out on top will be worth so many weeks of team bonding exercises and training ground routines. It will foster a belief in each other that can only be borne of matchday experience. 

Basically. That was brilliant and EXACTLY what we needed.

We love you Blackpool. We do. What choice do we have, but my god, when you're like today, there's no one like you in the whole wide world. 

Onwards

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Writing about football is possibly a bit pointless in an era when there's the telly and youtube and videos all over the shop. It's not my living this and it's just something I do because I do so there's no problem with reading it and then getting on with your life - If you do want to chuck some money at the cause of some random fella writing shit no one ever asked him too, then Patreon. is a thing.

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C'mon you POOOOOOOL!

This is what we are. We never make it easy, but we are fundamentally greater than anything and everything else in the entire universe and anything that can be conceived beyond that. That is the truth, the one truth, the only truth and it is beyond dispute. Any deviation from glory is merely a glitch in the matrix and will right itself because what is inevitable is tangerine and whilst fate can take time to manifest, it can never be cheated. 

I didn't expect to be at this place in my head after 3 games. We've signed some proper players, who on paper (and indeed, judged on their previous deeds on the pitch) you'd imagine would improve us. I wasn't stupid enough to think we'd win every game 10-0 but I thought we'd be seeing at least something to get excited about... 

The evidence of last week was that, far from looking like the all new, all conquering Seaside dream machine of our collective desire, we resembled a tribute act to Mick McCarthy's Blackpool - no cohesion, no sense of a plan, only the briefest hint of midfield play and very little to be positive about. Add to that, the kit that evokes a child's fever dream of Parma Violets and tigers in the sea and then doing whatever we didn't do for Dale Taylor ('Simon? Er .. I thought I'd sent it, but it's sitting in my drafts still....') and a follow up defeat in the League Cup and it's not been a great week.

It's only a few games.

I keep telling myself that.

Football is fickle. One minute it's all "In Bruce we trust!" and the next it's doom, gloom and misery.

Let's reflect a bit...

1: This set of players CANNOT be as bad as the first three games suggest.
2: Virtually everyone we've signed comes with a certain pedigree.
3: Almost everyone has significant playing time at a higher level or for teams that out performed us last year.
4: Football is probably the ultimate meritocracy. You simply don't get to play at a level for an extended period of time if you aren't good enough. You get dropped, sold, relegated. That's how it works.

It takes time to form a team. At this point. It feels almost like a legal obligation to list all the seasons we've started badly but done well in ultimately. Without some hope, it's just an exercise in masochism. Football doesn't work to the simple metric of 'last week is this week' - if it did, it would be a piece of piss to clean up at the bookies every week.

Exhibit A: Barnet 7-0 Blackpool 2000 - after that game, did anyone have us sweeping up the Cardiff pitch scoring glorious goal after goal to seal promotion on their cards? Not me)

If we extrapolate future outcomes from limited evidence, then we might come to the conclusion that Tony Cottee will be the greatest manager of all time

Exhibit B: Wimbledon 1-0 Blackpool 2020 - Whilst not a drubbing, (Blackpool 1- Ipswich 4 2020) would be though) - such was the ill discipline and general toothless shambles of this display that I thought Critchley was done and the squad had given up on him. Whether or not Calderwood and whatever the whys, hows and wherefores, the fact is we barely missed a beat for the rest of the season and we all know how it ended.

There's a temptation to call for sweeping change or to conclude that the signings are duds and we've completely fucked up, put it all in the bin, set the bin on fire and put the ashes into a rocket and fly it into a black hole, fold the club, start a phoenix club and go again because everyone is completely shite and it's an abomination to match the post office scandal and fucking this lot are worse than Hitler and Pol Pot on a bad and probably a firing squad is too good for them (etc) - but the team beaten at Barnet was largely the side that would go on to promotion. Players like Wellens, Simpson, Ormerod, Murphy, Hills and Coid all got hit for 7 and then formed the heart of my favourite ever Blackpool side and are all among the players who've given me most joy as a 'Pool fan - it's really easy to forget just how bad they were before they were any good. 8 of the players thrashed by the side that went out of the league that season were in the play off final starting line up.

Simmo. A rhapsody in Tangerine. 

This isn't to say we just 'leave it be and wait' - there are definitely areas to address and weaknesses in the squad. We miss James Husband (no, we do! we really, really, actually, genuinely do) and having only Andy Lyons to play right back is almost cruel - he's trying to regain his touch and positioning and so on after 18 months of no football in a side themselves desperately trying to work out what they're doing and with a goalkeeper who hasn't yet formed any understanding with the defence and is palpably out of form. In other words - there are gaps and those gaps are exacerbating the issues. 

I'm also not sure that we can play two in midfield as a matter of course. Last season we hit on the idea of the left winger as a kind of inside/outside player who could add a body to the middle and we seem to have explored recreating this on the right with Honeyman but with the consequence of our best player in a more peripheral role. Both Honeyman and Carey have exceptional stamina and can play that 'double' role but without Morgan, we don't have the dynamo that sets the pace in the middle and compensates for the fact there's only two there sometimes. Evans is not in form (let's be nice) and Brown isn't a player to set the tone but to tidy up and disrupt. As a two, that isn't going to match an in form opposition 3. Hanson, Hamilton and Ebiowei aren't likely to play that hybrid wide role either. Therefore... there's surely merit in greater flexibility in the engine room of the team in order to have a more effective midfield and we surely train for that and coach for that and players would have prior experience of that too - because none of our midfielders are 'raw' and have played different systems. 

Let me be clear - I really like watching 442. It's a lot of fun. There is a reason though, why it's rarely utilised and that's because generally, in midfield, 3 beats 2 and if you can win the midfield, by and large, you'll do ok. 

An individual (unless genuinely exceptional - and by definition, most players everywhere aren't 'exceptions') is only as good as the team they're in and if you lose a midfield battle then the defence will be pressured and the attack will struggle for chances. A player like Coulson or Lyons whose instincts are to get forward will never be at their best when pinned back - Husband or, say, Ollie Turton would revel in that - but blaming the attacking full backs for not being better defensively alone is missing the point - we fundamentally haven't taken charge of games and that is a bigger issue to me than most of the individual errors. We've not so far missed a stack of chances or regularly shown great build up

There are mitigations - we've barely seen some of the players and not seen Morgan, Husband or Imray at all. We all (I assume!) want to see instinctive, imaginative football above systems football and instinct in a team is forged by playing time. Ebiowei, Hansson, Bloxham, Taylor, Ennis, aided and abetted by Morgan's energy and imagination and Fletcher's random chaos factor sounds quite impressive as a set of attacking options but only Niall, Albie, Ash and Tom actually know each other's names.

There are also curious things at play - I don't really know why the evident tenacity and physicality of Zac Ashworth isn't utilised. I don't know that he's *actually* any good, the sample size is too small - but he's clearly willing to get stuck in and run hard and right now that's quite a handy thing. I also don't really know why Kouassi sits on the bench but never comes on the pitch even when we evidently need some physical presence in the dying minutes. We might not have plans long term for these players (and I'm not trying to argue they are 'the answer' - cos it seems very unlikely Kylian is at least) but in lieu of signing a.n.other player (and we probably need some of those still), why don't we use them when their attributes would be the best fit (from what we possess) for the situation we're in at this particular moment? Shove a defender up front, they sometimes score - so shoving an actual striker built like vintage wardrobe upfront and we might score when we're a goal down with seconds ticking away and we've not really made a lot up to that point.

Maybe Bruce is distracted by the plot of a new novel where Stu Bryce (football manager) strangles the person who spelled the name of the new signing wrong on the registration papers of 'Dave Tyler' (striker) or wrote 'Blackburn' instead of 'Blackpool' in the box for the team name? 

I enjoyed Steve Bruce last season. I admired his pragmatism and what seemed like an uncomplicated and honest approach. I want this to work. I want us to be what we looked like at points last season. A side who can keep their shape and grind but who can play some expressive and genuinely joyful football. I don't want us to be mired in a fixed and rigid ethos where we do things 'because that's what we do' - I don't want players to be cast out or stubbornly persisted with no matter what. After the coach speak and systems era that had gone before, Bruce felt like a clean slate for everyone and the players largely responded with effort and energy and that fed into the fanbase. It wasn't outstanding or sensational - but we generally played with a bit of pride and that went a long way to feeling some connection with the team. It's a bit of a mystery as to where that sense of 'something' has gone and the answer can't surely be simply 'to Charlton' because, yes, we've lost some but we've also gained quite a bit.

Come to think of it though, Keogh left and he's like a human totem pole, a lightning rod for magic, a shamanic leader with magic eyebrows who can harness the energy of the universe and bestow it on others with magical pointing and arms round shoulders and exceptionally flexible facial expressions. That would be missed by any set of players I guess.

When Keogh left last time.. it turned to shit.. Facts are facts. 

There's always more to say... That's the beauty of football. It binds people together by giving them something to talk shite about that both matters and doesn't. Three games is nothing but we'll treat them like they're everything and whilst, yes, the keeper looks shaky, the defence has been cut through like the silk on a SIlk Cut advert, the midfield hasn't got a grip and the attack mostly misfired, apart from that it's fine! We're going to win the league! 

In short, the question might be 'How many Steve's does it take to turn a shambles into glory?'

The answer is 'Actually. It only takes one and he'll buy you a washing machine and win you two LDV trophies, give a mental press conference where he leaves but then comes back and chuck in a lot of rounds of golf whilst he's at it - so with five of them, we should sort this out no problem'

If notthing else, we could get another Steve in as an advisor. That would be top craic.  

Basically, fuck knows if we'll be shite in 6 months or not - why do you expect me to know? Sometimes you start shit and end good. Sometimes you start good and end shit. Sometimes you start shit and end worse and so on - football is class like that - so fuck the future, live in the now and let's try and find how this lot fit together a bit better and fucking go for it cos we're Blackpool.

If we can't defend...

...ATTACK!

Onwards

Tweet You can follow MCLF on facebook or Twitter or use Follow.it to get posts sent to your email If you appreciate the blog and judge it worth 1p or more, then a donation to one of the causes below which help kids and families in Blackpool would be grand. Home-Start Blackpool Food Bank

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New beginnings... familiar failings: the Mighty vs Stevenage Borough

I don't expect you to care about my memories, but the weather is striking a chord  - This is the precisely same weather as a day from my past. It's about 1983, I'm staying with my grandparents and we go for a walk on the prom at Cleveleys. There is blue sky but the wind is doing its windy business and the promise of warmth is a deception. My grandad wears his sports jacket, complimenting his shirt, grey leather slip ons and nylon slacks, combover alive in the wind. Combovers are normal, ties and jackets are out in force, Ladies with tight perms and sensible dresses, meat and two veg is the staple of the cafes we pass, tea in small white cups, coffee is just coffee and comes from a jar. The English seaside is already long in decline but I'm unaware of any of that. Just the chill of the wind broken by a wall and the momentary warmth of a patch of sunny shelter, salt on my lips and the bristle on the matting of the tiny helter skelter in the tiny fairground that's no longer there. 

Nostalgia is dangerous. Everything changes. It always will do. Let's come back to now. Bloomfield is a magical place. The clouds part as kick off approaches. Changes have happened here too. The pitch, tended with such skill by the departing Paul Flynn looks to shimmer with a chlorophyll glow in the sunshine. I once fell painfully in love with a girl I saw on Manchester Piccadilly train station for a few seconds as I looked out of the train window. I was in love for a long time with her. Falling in love with someone you've never actually met is a bit like the start of the season, nothing can taint the imagined possibilities, nothing can sully the image you've seen - I fall in love again, this time watching the warm up from a distance as Emil Hansson swerves a shot inside the post with languid ease. I hope to stay in love. It's better to feel something than nothing after all. I marvel at the sheer amount of tangerine gloss paint that's been applied to good effect. I don't like the set up of the team with its echo of seasons past and 3 centre backs at home but needs must and in Bruce we must trust.

I wait. Anticipation grows. The teams come out.... We're here, again. Let the game take us where it will. Lets let go of all that we are and become the crowd, the noise, the throng on the hillside gazing down at the battle below. All of that flowery shit. Pick your own image to suit, the game is starting.... I've missed this. 

---

Peacock Farrell makes a good early low save. I think to myself 'that bodes well - what do the Birmingham fans know anyway?' Jordan Brown shanks one wide after a good move and there's the first roll of applause from the reasonably busy stands.

Then, earlier than seems reasonable to hope for, we're reminded of the reason we do this. Honeyman, already looking bright even after a few minutes is stretching for a Coulson flick, it's out of his reach, he goes to ground, he springs up, he steals the balls and he fairly smashes it home, no messing, no second thoughts, just an absolute rocket from close range that essentially burns a hole in the keeper as it goes right through him at the near post and crashes into the net. YESSS! 

Everything is exactly as you'd want it. Blue sky, bowling green pitch, Blackpool on top of things and sweeping aside a club that ,frankly, if we're honest, we shouldn't even be entertaining playing because we have Ballon d'or winners, FA Cup winners, World Cup winners and they're just a ring road and some industrial estates and where even is Stevenage anyway? 

This feeling lasts a little while as Pool look in charge of the game. I should know better than this. We're incredibly good at punishing hubris. As around me, people purr with pre season optimism and I'm wondering whether it will be four or five this afternoon, nothing turns quickly and horribly into something. Horsfall takes a pass, turns and plays it inexplicably across his own goal, where some nippy little forward from Stevenage pounces and makes it look like we have no keeper, such is the ease and accuracy of his finish. 

Fucks sake Pool. That was a goal that had no reason to be but was anyway. We're supposed to be the all-new, mean, lean and defensively solid Blackpool FC - not the same old shambles that it seems we always are. 

We rouse ourselves a little. Ennis looks happy to be here and is, by some distance, our liveliest player over the 90 minutes. He battles hard at the end of a crisp move and puts it over the top. It's worth a round of applause even if it was never going in. Ash Fletcher sums himself up in 3 seconds. He charges through, shows a simply dazzling sleight of foot to the defender who might as well have just vanished, such is Fletcher's brilliance. He's got the easiest pass on earth to set the unmarked Andy Lyons in on goal, all he has to do is roll it forward a few yards and the lad is away - and yet, after such brilliant footwork, he manages to pass the ball with the touch of a building site labourer in his steel toe cap boots trying to kick off a particularly heavy clay soil that has built up around his feet. In short - he knocks it out of play, when pretty much anyone in the ground might have made the pass. 

It's not really a classic but Honeyman is a pleasure to watch. He's sort of like if (the good versions of) Sonny Carey was also (the best version of) Jay Spearing and I'm baffled as to way he's playing for us. He looks far too good. Why is he not in a higher division. He's got lovely technique  he's decisive, he's intelligent and as I hear in front of me "he makes Jerry yates look lazy" such is his workrate. He's silky and he's able to rat the ball out at the same time. Never mind that shit goal we conceded - this lad is the league title in flesh! Stevenage aren't stupid though. He's getting kicked, he's getting tripped and then, after (I think) a corner, he's down in a heap. For fucks sake. Can we not have nice things? 

It seems we can't. We can't have nice refs either. This week's twat dressed in a cheap Matalan cycling outfit is mainly obsessed with the precise location of free kicks and throw-ins and less concerned with actually managing the game. His linesman friend, whose belly is stretching his blue top looks Sunday League and makes some Sunday League calls. Stevenage are perfectly able to disrupt the game at will and likely to get a free kick for their troubles. 

Hang on... He's given a penalty. For what? Eh? 

The ball floated across, we seemed to defend it. No one claimed for anything but then the ref pointed to the spot. I'm baffled. My phone tells me variously that Ihiekwe just scooped it with his hand for no reason and that Ihiekwe was pushed into the ball. I have no idea.  (I watch it back later and  I'm not sure why he's handled it...) The Kop does its level best, a sea of waving arms and a pounding heartbeat of a drum. Peacock Farrell does his best to, guessing right and for a split second there's the ecstatic relief of a save but then the grim realisation hits that he's been beaten and that they're 2-1 ahead. 

--- 

Can we go back to kick off? I liked it when I'd forgotten what it was like to support this football club. 

 ---

Bruce isn't mucking about. It's 442 with Emil Hansson on the left and Coulson out on the right wing. I love the idea of this lad. From the little I've seen of him he's quite obviously a footballer of some talent. Zac Ashworth is on too and Casey at right back. It takes a moment to notice Lyons and Honeyman are gone. That's our best player and our only right back off. Hmmm. 

'Hmmm' becomes 'fuck me, this is a fucking life sentence this shit, why the fuck do I actually bother with it because frankly, my life as a whole was better in the last few months when I wasn't trekking to watch sheer incompetence mixed with fucking cursed luck on my Saturdays and doing something more constructive and rewarding' as Peacock Farrell gives all Birmingham fans something to revel in, slipping an inexplicably poor pass straight to a Stevenage player, one pass, a second pass and Dan Kemp belts into the roof of the net. I have no words. Horsfall was under a bit of pressure, Ihiekwe was jumping with another player but that... I don't do this to lay into players - but he owes us a double save at point blank range for certain. 

There follows a half hour of turgid misery punctuated by bursts of skill from Hansson who looks like a player who, in a fully functioning side, could do some proper damage. He's got the confidence of a player who knows he can beat people and will back himself. He hugs the touchline and wants the ball. Simmo anyone? Ennis runs hard and spins, fights and darts to little reward. Jordan Brown chugs around but we look toothless. Fletcher is having one of those days. Lee Evans is doing an excellent impression of a bloke out for a stroll lobbing balls with one of those dog thrower toys whilst browsing on his phone, not really paying all that much attention to the direction or trajectory of the tennis ball. 

We are, frankly, a bit shit. More than a bit shit. We're rubbish. There's nothing else to say. It's a shit spectacle cos we've got a left back on the right wing who gets blown over by a stiff breeze, a centre forward who can't win a long ball and a midfielder whose radar is not so much misaligned but seemingly reporting things that aren't actually there.  Add to this a referee who allows them to literally clothesline our players and it's all a bit grim

Then hope. Brown, who has done little wrong, has been shuffled to right back. He's played there before and he looks ok in the role. He loops a ball into the channel, the ever willing Ennis makes a burst and his man leaves him, he's in, he's got the kind of finish that is worrying because it looks lie he should score - but he takes it sublimely, faking his intent then putting it in the corner, the keeper totally flat footed as the ground roars into life. He deserved that. He's played hard today and he's kept going. 

Hope is a cruel mistress though. The onslaught never really comes. We loop a few forward, we have a few corners, Stevenage play for time in the corner, on the ground, physio on and all of that. Of course they do. Lee Evans smacks one and for a few milliseconds it seems a magical end, but it's blocked and  the game ends with us not making much out of a corner that we didn't throw the keeper up for because why? I don't know. 

--- 

There's a lot of reasons we can give as to why we didn't play well. Injuries, formation, new squad. There's doubtless merit to those reasons. The manager has been quite open in telling us we're not ready. We palpably weren't today. Maybe that was in the player's minds. I don't know. 

There's no point going through who was poor again. It's evident from what I've already written that some players had subpar performances and that too many of them looked uncomfortable, even in moments where there wasn't any obvious reason to. That speaks to the degree of familiarity they have with each other. I joke about Evans passing to people who weren't there - but then in reality, there literally were people who weren't there and runs not being made that might have previously been. The defence and keeper looked like strangers to each other at times - outside of the goals there were moments of hesitancy, disagreements, surprise at receiving the ball from each other. There was little leadership, no one shouting, clapping, exhorting each other. This is a new team - but also a patched up makeshift side, some of whom are doing jobs they're not suited too (Three right footed players in a back three was horrible) and all of whom played quite a lot of the game in a formation they've not been recruited for or trained for and it showed. 

I found it odd we didn't throw Kouassi into the last 10 minutes. Like him or not, he's got the presence to disrupt and personally, I'd have thrown Knight on and told him 'there's nothing to lose' as Coulson barely made any headway down the flank and seemed to be treated like a fly who could just be swatted away by his fullback - but these are minor details. This is a new side, it's not finished (it needs to be soon!) - it needs to gel and perhaps such a poor, disjointed display will shake out any complacency or habits that need dropping and show Bruce what needs to be worked upon and who makes the cut when they're all fit (it's not some of these if that game shows their best work...)  

We lost today to an absolute classic League 1 side. Organised, making the most of their attributes, working their arses off and winning physical duels. This is this league. We have signings coming in and we're addressing the lack of adventure and competition in attacking roles - but we cannot lose battles and give away shit goals like that, because we could sign fucking Messi twice and still lose to sides who come, all sharp elbows and canny trips and time wasting and who outplay us at the basics by concentrating better than we do and winning their duels. 

It's one game. We'll be reet. 

Onward

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