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| Eastern Europe does a great Metro station. Is it as beautiful as Blackpool South though? |
This will be easier. But that's what makes it hard. Cos it probably won't. Expectation can weigh heavy.
What do we know about Ukraine? There's the firemen that literally saved the world in 1986 before dying an agonising death hidden away in a Moscow hospital and buried in a leadlined tomb. It's also the country of the Dynamo + Lokomotiv Kiev players who paid with their lives for refusing to lose to the Nazis, nor to Heil Hitler (ok, the story is a bit more complex than that but that's the gist.) which is pretty much the ultimate in hard man football. We might bang on about Terry Butcher but no one ever threatened to shoot him did they? It's a nation where they paint everything that can be painted blue and yellow, in lieu of any kind of economic solutions for the issues of a post industrial, post Soviet world, which makes the entire country look like a massive Wimbledon kit. It's a very, very fertile place that used to feed the Soviet bloc (at a substantial cost to the Ukrainian's own calorie intake and life prospects during the 1930s) and recently things with mother Russia have been a bit tense.
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| England 1938: Not kneeling, nor facing a date with a firing squad. |
FC Start: The Death Match
The last week has been weird to say the least. England beating Germany in a reasonably comfortable manner was strange enough, but the mad reaction to a 2 second clip of a kid crying made me question whether human reason is a thing. LOOK. LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS! LOOK. EVERYONE. LOOK AT THIS!!! LOOK AT THIS! went the people on the internet when someone made a snide comment as if giving attention to attention seekers is a really good idea and no one can possibly ignore anything any more. Sharing some shit trolling is like pouring petrol on a little fire in order to draw attention to it, then claiming you are trying to help the fire brigade. Next people started raising money which was a new level in mentalism. Then more people waded in and starting calling the fella who was raising money all sorts of stuff and then another load of people called out those people and so on. A kaleidoscopic maelstrom of reactions, reactions to reactions, reactions to reactions to reactions. An infinite mirror reflection of reactions, stretching into infinity all fueled by one two second clip.
People are mental.
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The Ukrainian anthem is a serious banger. A woman in a pink bucket hat reacts to the solemnity of God Save the Queen by leaping about till her hat falls off as she spots herself on the big screen. You can send some money to help with the distress of that moment of indignity here.
The game starts cagily. I've time to wish Kalvin Phillips had kept the braids and to think that Shevchenko looks like a soviet cosmonaut with that far distant stare of dutiful wonder that he has.
Ukraine line up loads of players behind the ball. I count 7 of them as Sterling goes on a meandering run, where's he going now? Fuck me, he's passed it. Hang on... Kane is through, darting onto it, sliding and lifting it over the keeper and into the net. Wow! A really lovely ball, smart movement and a sharp finish
England do loads and loads of sideways passing. Kane tries a flick. Ukraine race up the pitch very quickly but England manage to block it out. Ukraine give it away, Walker hares down the right but can't get a clean cross over. Pickford has to make a sprawling stop at the near post after Walker makes a lazy pass and presents a chance for the Ukrainians to charge straight down middle. Sancho prompts a lovely move, setting Sterling away, Shaw overlaps, the ball is pulled back, but no one is in its path and it rolls all across the box before being cleared.
Pickford has his first long clearance. What a thing of wonder. I'm trying to work out what it reminds me of. It's such an explosion of energy. It's a jet, taking off from a carrier with an aircraft catapult. Shaw does some checking back. Sterling belts into the legs of a defender from 12 yards out. Maguire steps out of defence and heads it forward, hard, finding a man. I love it when a header is a pass. From Maguire's touch, Sterling wins a free kick. It's curled in and Kane nods over the top.
Sterling goes round the back, quite superbly, he's slow, slow, slow then he touches it and accelerates to the byline, pulls it back, again, it goes through everyone and is cleared, but only to Rice who hits it like car hitting a concrete wall and the keeper is almost caught out as it swerves in front of him - he can only parry it away clumsily.
Ukraine go down the left, it's a swift, precise and dangerous move, quick passing, fast running, but again England's defence is excellent and close down quickly, Mount coming back and getting a block in before the ball is smuggled away and England restore their grip. Soon after, Sterling plays another lovely ball, Shaw races through, he pulls it back, Sancho who has looked so comfortably gifted so far on the right, spins, hits it hard and forces another save. Ukraine come back though, again down the left, Pickford shapes to come to cut it out, but doesn't, there's a split second where there's a chance, the ball is pulled back and Maguire slams it wide for a corner.
Still the yellow team pour forward. A little chipped volley into the box causes problems. An england defender throws themselves head first and clears, but it falls to to a yellow shirt, who hits it hard, slicing across the ball, sending it fizzing, shaping dangerously, but skimming just wide of Pickford's near post. Sancho has a magnificent run up the left, mesmerising his marker into a foul, but going on anyway, barely breaking stride where others would be rolling. Sterling matches him on the right, flying away, a little dynamo that gives the defense no rest.
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Decent from England. In control for most of the game, the two wide players have both looked excellent, the attacking play has been quiet fluent. Ukraine have posed a threat though and I have the feeling that they will continue to do so.
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Or maybe not.... A foul on Kane yields a free kick. Shaw swings it in, The bouncy castle Maguire gallumphes into the box and bullets it home. Perfect start again.
Then it gets better. Sterling has been simply divine tonight and gets even better as he receives at the corner of the box, on the right. He teases his man then flicks it behind him, rolling it into Shaw's path. The left back takes it, looks, and measures the perfect cross for the man who last game was a useless lummox but now is a deadly threat as he heads down, between the keepers legs and scores his third goal inside an hours worth of football.
Declan Rise makes way for stilt legs Henderson. Mount nearly sends Kane through for a hat trick. England look happy to dally with the ball, passing it around and just waiting for the chance. A long ball, Sterling steps off, the defender nods away, but Kane absolutely hammers it back on the volley, it's a magnificent effort that is turned wide by the keeper's fingertips at full stretch... From the corner, Henderson steals in and glances a downward header home, connecting at the near post and leaving the ball nestled in the far corner.
Blimey.
England make loads of subs. Bellingham, Rashford and Trippier all on. England continue to control, Rashford making a good impression on the left. Bellingham showing presence and skill. When there is a threat, it's almost of England's own making. A long ball over the top forces Pickford out, he gets there and then decides to try and volley it away, slicing it up in the air then running round underneath it, hurtling about like a bumper car.
Calvert-Lewin comes on, Kane makes way.
Pickford is equally entertaining when Ukraine manage a shot, a drive from the edge of the box, hit straight at him, that he parries away, by leaping and thrusting his gloves out, before galloping, wildly out to collect the ball as it's looped back in, and falling on it like he's going over the touchline to score a try.
The game is at walking pace now. England, knocking it around with ease. Wandering slowly up the pitch as if on a sunday stroll where they just happen to have taken a ball and falling back into shape if they lose it. Sancho explodes into the box, but can't quite get away from his man. Bellingham has some touch and seems to get all over the pitch without looking like he's even running that hard. Henderson produces a stupidly impudent little back heel from inside his own box to set England on a counter attack in a rare moment of Ukrainian pressure.
The ref decides not to bother with any added time.
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Shevchenko hugs Kane, then ruffles his hair. Then he has a hug with Grealish. No one cries. Ukraine is far too stoic for that. The Ukrainians do a brilliant clapping thing with their fans. It takes their players a few goes to get to the rhythm but they manage it. I notice Shevchenko has a very stylish pair of slip on shoes and he joins them, effortlessly picking up the rhythm as he's basically cool as fuck.
Southgate is all business has he applauds politely. He's now the most successful England manager at tournaments outside of Alf Ramsey. No one else has two semi finals on their record but he's not getting carried away. I think he's lost the style battle to Sheva but no matter if he looks a bit 'Dad visits Burtons' in his spotty tie and suit, he's destroyed him on the pitch.
England looked well balanced, they looked clinical. They controlled the game without really seeming to put incredible amounts of pressure on. Tonight was the first game where England reminded me at all of Italy who have been far and away the best team so far. It also reminded everyone that Kane is an outstanding striker and that Sterling is ridiculously under appreciated considering how good he is. For a tiny bloke, he's so strong, his passing was lovely tonight and with Sancho seemingly just as comfortable as him, the two of them swapping flanks, drifting into the middle, a previously toothless looking attack looked anything but. Shaw was excellent, the midfield was calm and full of energy and the number of clean sheets tells it's own story.
Nearly as good as the Mighty this lot...
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