Valentine's week breakup - Goodbye Larry x

So, this is the end. 

It's more of a half hearted wave than a tearful goodbye. Too much has happened. We grew apart and you broke our hearts. 

You tried again, but whether we couldn't get over what happened last time, or whether you were just with us to be with someone, it just didn't work out. 

We tried too. For a few moments, it sparkled and shone as if yesterday was alive and here. We sang your name and we tried to believe but all too often it was sullen and just, I don't know, not quite right. 

I'm quite sad to be honest, that in the end, we didn't make it work. That's because I'm getting old and I wanted to live in the past. I wanted it to be 16 years ago and everything newer and clearer. I wanted to be less jaded and less tired, less trapped, less cynical. I wanted you to take me back there. Right back before the perfect ten and everything that followed. 

Instead, you reminded me of the ravages of time. A mirror to my own aging. A reflection of how we all lose touch with what is new and now. You reminded me of the impossibility of living twice, the difficulty of returning to a dream once awoken, how you can't make a flame from what has already burned up. 

I want to remember the good. You played for us. A lot. You put in graft and grit and you weren't bad. You were a decent player with a decent pedigree and you did more than just claim a pay packet. You put a shift in, often in a dreadful, directionless team.

You won the dubious honour of managing us and gave us the Keigan Parker goal at Wembley. You gave us Wes and Andy Morrell. The 6-3 game and those years scrapping in the league we hadn't been in for 30 years. 

You took us and made us into something more than a lot of us had ever known. 

Let's try and forget that you left us for for your true love. Let's forget that you went to *them* and most of all, let's pretend that this season finished after Matty Virtue's scorcher at Sunderland when it seemed that you'd found your mojo again and we'd got a swagger and Simon Sadler who knew what we were after and we were going up. Just at that moment, it felt like we could *trust* again. 

But it fell apart and there was just too much water under the bridge. Maybe we were a bit harsh but after what's gone before, we needed more. We needed to be loved. Not just to feel like you were going through the motions. It never used to feel like that. You used to say the same words but somehow, it felt like you meant them, whilst this time, it just felt empty. 

Once it felt like there was method in your madness but now just madness (or apathy) in your method. We couldn't understand you and you didn't seem interested in explaining to us. 

Here's how I used to feel. Here's what I wrote about you once. I meant every single word and I dearly wanted to feel this way again. (this is something I wrote on a football forum after we beat Scunthorpe 4-1 way before Uncle Val or Wembley or any of the success you started)

"Last night,some of the pride and love for my team came back, it was like Hendry had never been there. Simon has brought in 8 players and shipped out some of the deadwood. 8 players! What's more impressive is half of them are permanent signings and a few more are season long deals.

We have gone in the space of two month from a dire side, with no imagination and entertainment to a side that possesses player who can pass, players who can score and players who you can warm to. We have looked like actually deserving results for the first time since 2004. The players we all know are good we already had are playing for Grayson. We pass the ball on the floor, use wingers and actually have more than one attack a game!

We will struggle still I think, we won't have a meteoric rise or anything, but I for one feel so much more positive about things and though I recognise very few posters actually give a toss about the affairs of the seasiders, those people who say things like 'it's been grim being a *insert name of team in champions league* fan, really should get the 'Hendry Years' DVD and imagine watching that week in, week out, then watch a few of our Grayson performances and you will understand why I make this declaration of delight.

A win under Hendry generally involved getting a goal, then hanging on for grim life or hoping the other team were so off form they couldn't score. Last night we deserved more than 4 and several draws so far really should have been wins. Under Hendry, Bloomfield was depressing, now there is an air of expectancy and hope I had forgotten existed. I had forgotten it was possible to enjoy the game"

Let's just ignore it all and agree to remember the good times and perhaps, it would be better for all concerned if we just agreed not to see each other for a good while. If not forever. In fact let's forget about each other and just move on. It hurts to much to see someone you loved turn into something else. 

A new start. Attack, attack, attack, attack, attack. 

UTMP