Not quite Samba football... - Queen of the South vs Cove Rangers

I know I'm not driving to Bloomfield
because I've seen 6 red kites hung up above the road like giant feathered bin bags caught on the breeze. I know I'm in Scotland because the builders around here seem to have a bungalow fetish. In the Nith valley nestles Dumfries and in Dumfries is Palmerston Park, hame (home) of the Doon'hamers. Queen of the South are a grand old name. Cove Rangers are relative newcomers. It's kind of like us playing Stevenage. 

---

The Portland Drive terrace is a thing of majestic wonder. It's kind of unchanged since forever. It might only have three rows of crush barriers but it's got a proper roof, with rusting metal work and a square serving hatch at the back dispensing tea, coffee and pies. It's wee compared to the great terraces of yesteryear but it's big enough to evoke a feeling that were it heaving and Queens flying high, it could be a thrilling place to be. 

The action on the pitch isn't so thrilling. Despite the 4g pitch encouraging a passing game (as is often the case in Scotland's lower leagues these days) it's a stodgy midfield battle with Cove having the better of the first 20 mins. By 'the better' I mean 'having both a shot and a cross' 

I wonder why Scottish towns feature so many turrets. I can see 6 from here, over the low and overgrown Terragles St terracing. Two belong to grand houses and four to the prison whose castellated design is a bigger curiosity than the football (fitba) so far. 

Cove add a corner to their achievements. It's not the best set piece to have ever graced a football (fitba) pitch. 

I like to attend Scottish games when opportunity arises. It has to be noted that most Scottish lower league games seem to feature a youthful drummer. The drummer is often seemingly in the process of learning how to drum and hasn't quite got to the section on 'keeping rhythm' and today is no exception. It's like listening to a record player with a dodgy motor. Faster.... Slower... 

Queens have a half chance, the ball worked down the left by sheer effort and squeezed just wide at the far post. Queens create an oooh as they whip the ball across goal. Cove break and Efe Ambrose (who is the only player on the pitch to have beaten Barcelona in the Champions League and won the African Cup of Nations and is thus, somewhat predictably, the player who has caught my eye so far) stops him in his tracks. 

Queens square up the corner count and Ambrose wins a far post header but no one can make anything of it. Ambrose generally strolls about, slightly pigeon toed and keeps it very simple. Cove dance down the right, he trots across and puts it into the stand, like an old fella going to kick away some leaves that have fallen on his lawn. 

The sky at kick off was like a kids paint pallet. White, black and blue all smudged together. As the first half grinds by, its as if the celestial child has mixed it all up with a splash of water. It's all grey now and it's cold. Queens give the ball away to a groan. Cove cross it miles over anyone. My fingers are a bit numb. There's kids in t- shirt and shorts below me. Just as I'm getting a bit bored, Queens put their best move together and the whole ground makes a sound as one for the first time, a kind of groan of encouraging disappointment as a quick three touch move ends in a shot just past the post. 

--- 

It has not been an all time classic so far

---

The second half burts into life. Queens show first, ball through, a slip from Cove a great turn and run, they're in a shot, a good save, a follow up header blocked, the ball slashed away but then a third effort crashed towards goal and blocked, behind the line?! We play on. No goal. 

Queens are playing towards us now. Reilly looks skillful but not quite quick enough. His partner is big and rural looking but is isolated. 

Cove have a spell and hit the side netting. Queens keeper has been immaculate but a poor clearance gives Cove a chance. They work it so slowly that by the time th shot comes in it feels like everyone in blue is camped on the goal line to block, which they do. 

The drummer drums on. A slow clap chant has stand on edge of joining in a little bit but the rhythm changes manically to a sort of amphetamine heart attack style samba beat and more songs about hatred of Annan are sung. 

Shouts for a handball as Queens raid down the left and whip a good cross in yield only an offside flag. 

Cove send on a sub, He instantly pulls out a brilliant turn on the edge of box and a brilliant jinking run, flowing like a raindrop down glass and finishing with drive, it's well saved, and the follow up is filled by a tremendous diving header off the line. 

Cove go for long range efforts, one curling wide to the right, one rising just a bit too much over the centre of the bar and one missing away to the left. It's as if they're aiming for a perfect symmetry of missed chances. 

Queens respond to Cove's patterns with a pair of promising but fruitless attacks down either flank. 

Then Cove score. It's the substitute who had the good run earlier. I mostly miss it though cos I'm thinking about the grass on the main stand roof and glance back to pitch at the last second to see the ball hit the net followed by a tiny roar from the tiny band of away fans. 

Queens respond by raiding down the left, the cross is good. It's over the big lad but the little no10 is beyond him. The angle is tight, he takes a second to weigh his options and decides to shoot, curling it through a crowd and smacking the base of the post. It's not to be... Maybe one more chance from the corner that follows. It hits the arse of a Queens play and goes out of play. 

Such is life. 

--- 

I've enjoyed it. I find it impossible not to love fitba (Football) at this level and below. It's just the game stripped of all the nonsense. Turn up, watch a game, go hame (home) 

Queens fans troop out and bemoan their luck. One lone voice declares it fucking shite but most seem accepting of what it was. Two closely matched sides and one got the bounce of the ball. 

I'll come here again and soak it all up I hope. It feels right. 

Onward.