The preview was going to be all about our old right back. No, not Dave Burgess. The other one. The one we loved to moan about. No, still not Dave Burgess. The one we loved to moan about and blame for stuff until they played their part in a promotion winning team. No still not Dave Burgess..... Look, it's Ollie fucking Turton obviously. You know that, I know that, let's crack on.
I was going to write about my deeply held belief that Ollie Turton is the UK's least remarkable footballer. He's like the model sprite for a right back in a computer game before the attributes and characteristics of each individual right back have been added. His lack of strengths is mitigated by a lack of weaknesses. He's just all round average. Which, as it happened, was exactly what we needed.
I would have written about him prancing about in the warm up in Huddersfield's training top that looks like somewhere between a cycling top and a baby gro. I would have written about how I hope he gets a decent reception and then we destroy them. I would have written about he still marches about with an old fashioned upright gait a bit like he's off to bravely take a seat in a Wellington bomber and fly over Germany. (for some reason I nearly typed Burnley then??? - I know it's a strange and hostile land, but bombing them seems a bit extreme)
I would have written an awful lot more about an awful lot of things but then, I saw the team. Keshi isn't in it. Odd. Is he on the bench? Yes, he is. Shayne plays instead. Ok. But what's this further down? Do my eyes deceive me? Is my mind playing tricks? I'm sure that says "Gary Madine" It can't. Gary Madine is injured. He's been left out the squad and all of that. Look again. It DOES say "Gary Madine!!!"
Gary Gaz Goals Goal Machine Maz Madine is on the bench.
Stop everything. Add 15 points on to our projected total. The messiah has risen from the sunbed. 🧡
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Pool press early on but Huddersfield are a bunch of muscly rugby league defenders and keep our sprightly forwards at bay. Garbutt hits the worst free kick ever managing to somehow neither cross or shoot. I think he's invented a new thing.
Pool press early on but Huddersfield are a bunch of muscly rugby league defenders and keep our sprightly forwards at bay. Garbutt hits the worst free kick ever managing to somehow neither cross or shoot. I think he's invented a new thing.
Huddersfield have given us the respect of trying to stop us play, which Fulham didn't bother with to their cost. They're a stodgy Christmas pudding of a team but they're reasonably effective. John-Jules looks lively so they just foul him a lot because that's easier than defending.
Our first effort takes 20 minutes and comes from yet another foul. There's a loopy dead ball delivery, Dougall with a header well wide wide. They match it within a minute, missing by quite a lot but still, it is at least an effort. It's that kind of game.
Patience is needed and patience is almost rewarded as Lavery stuns a header just wide of the near post. Bowler goes clear twice, once from a simply obscene threaded John-Jules ball but both times he fails to make anything of his moment.
Dougall brings a good stop from the keeper picking up the bits and pieces from a corner Kenny then clatters one on the half volley from a mile and a bit away and catches it sweetly. It's going in until it isn't, thudding into a defender and bouncing wide.
Huddersfield move up the pitch with a ponderous but deliberate manner. We sometimes don't seem to be able to stop them even though none of their players seem discernibly fast or tricky and their passing looks pretty routine, but yet, they advance. Fortunately, good as they at going forward in that inevitable manner, they seem to practice either over hitting the cross or heading it wide in training so not much alarm is caused.
Their manager has white leggings on. Jodhpurs you could say. He's very flamboyant in his gestures till he decides he can't be arsed anymore and goes and sits down. Both sets of fans are insisting each other are 'fucking shit'
We break quickly but the final ball isn't quite there. Jerry ties their defender in knots but his ball is poor. Lavery races into the corner and makes it but he can't find John-Jules. At the fourth or fifth time of asking, the ref finally books the lad charged with the cunning tactic of tripping John-Jules if he so much as thinks of joining in with the game. It's at least 3 fouls too late.
Pool control the closing stages until Huddersfield wander up the pitch and crack a deflected effort just wide. It would have been an absolute sucker punch. It missed.
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It's been a tough half but we've been marginally better than them. Jerry and Shayne don't quite look right together. They say you should never marry someone too similar to yourself. Maybe the same goes for strike partners. I think John Jules could have had a big impact on that game if he didn't keep getting fouled. He's again looked technically gifted and prompted stuff, but he's like someone's little brother joining in with the big kids who just take his legs if he embarresses them. I'm not especially impressed with the ref who seems to be mates with the big kids and in on the joke.
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So, we got the break at the end of the first half. That's a good sign. If it was going to be one of those days that would have gone in wouldn't it? So we'll be fine. Lets go!
John-Jules goes for a run. He goes past a couple and then runs out of ideas. Nice try I suppose. Get into them etc. Hang on, they are breaking. Here's Garbs, he slides into the tackle, he makes it. So that's ok. But the ball doesn't break for him, taking a weird spinning bounce as it pops up, perfectly for them and their lad skips on, Garbs climbs to his feet, stumble, gets up again and falls again and they go on unimpeded, it's cut back, knocked about, it's hit hard, it clips someone (Marv?) and it arcs past Maxwell in the corner. It's a lightning break and a good finish. A very good finish. Maybe they do have one or two ok players.
We don't get too bothered by such things though and we rattling forward again, we can come back against Bournemouth then we can manage it against the glorified Rotherham that we're up against today. It breaks for John-Jules and some big lummox just whacks into him, no attempt to take the ball, just a completely cynical barge. Ref isn't arsed cos he likes stripes or something.
John-Jules goes for a run. He goes past a couple and then runs out of ideas. Nice try I suppose. Get into them etc. Hang on, they are breaking. Here's Garbs, he slides into the tackle, he makes it. So that's ok. But the ball doesn't break for him, taking a weird spinning bounce as it pops up, perfectly for them and their lad skips on, Garbs climbs to his feet, stumble, gets up again and falls again and they go on unimpeded, it's cut back, knocked about, it's hit hard, it clips someone (Marv?) and it arcs past Maxwell in the corner. It's a lightning break and a good finish. A very good finish. Maybe they do have one or two ok players.
We don't get too bothered by such things though and we rattling forward again, we can come back against Bournemouth then we can manage it against the glorified Rotherham that we're up against today. It breaks for John-Jules and some big lummox just whacks into him, no attempt to take the ball, just a completely cynical barge. Ref isn't arsed cos he likes stripes or something.
We have a corner though, Garbs lifts it to the near post, Lavery darts, twists and it loops up, just over the bar and onto the roof of the net. C'mon, we've got this. They're nothing special.
They have a corner. I like watching Keogh at corners. He's so intense. He does this little dancing twinkle toes thing to get him ready to jump. The ball is delivered. I'm still watching wor Richard. He jumps but it's over his head and... fucking hell, it's in. I don't really know what happened or, more to the point what didn't happen. It wasn't Keoghs ball, but no one else seemed to want it and their lad just ran in and scored. Maxwell is very pissed off as if he was blocked off but the linesman is impassive. The linesman is shite all night but I honestly don't know if that was a foul or just a goal.
Hmm. Then we make it worse. There's some calamity in the corner and Marvin tries to football his way out with some turns and some skills but their striker just watches him with a kind of wry amusement at the idea of Marvin skinning him and pounces as he clears, the ball hits him, rolling straight to another player. Maxwell is on to the danger, making a good stop, but it rolls out to a third forward who lifts it over the top of the keeper and into the net.
At some point Ollie Turton enters the Ollie Turton derby. I don't really care anymore. He can fuck off. I clap him anyway. We should all blame him for old time's sake. Their fans hilariously sing about an ex chairman. My sides ache with mirth at their originality. Some brave souls chant in the North but no one is really feeling it. People start to drift away.
Hmm. Then we make it worse. There's some calamity in the corner and Marvin tries to football his way out with some turns and some skills but their striker just watches him with a kind of wry amusement at the idea of Marvin skinning him and pounces as he clears, the ball hits him, rolling straight to another player. Maxwell is on to the danger, making a good stop, but it rolls out to a third forward who lifts it over the top of the keeper and into the net.
At some point Ollie Turton enters the Ollie Turton derby. I don't really care anymore. He can fuck off. I clap him anyway. We should all blame him for old time's sake. Their fans hilariously sing about an ex chairman. My sides ache with mirth at their originality. Some brave souls chant in the North but no one is really feeling it. People start to drift away.
We kick it long at little lads. Jerry goes off and Keshi comes on. Keshi is smaller than Jerry. Eventually we bring on a big lad and then stop kicking it long for a while. Gabriel looks out on his feet. To be honest, a few of them do but he is shattered
Sterling comes on and is lively enough. Bowler has a run and a dribbly shot. Bowler runs through everyone then crosses it backwards. Bowler has a run and lashes one just wide. Madine holds one up and heads one weakly at the keeper. The rest of the people go home. Huddersfield are very happy. We are not.
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When you lose, it's tempting to say exactly what went wrong but I don't know if anything went massively wrong other than we didn't play very well. Huddersfield weren't especially great in my humble opinion. They were brilliant at disrupting play and getting in early fouls that went unpunished. They didn't let us run and every time we worked some space, they just cut the free player down in a deep position, got back and regrouped.
Once they got a goal, they had a bit more about them, but the big difference for me was their physicality. They levered Yates and Lavery away from danger with ease, Jerry especially so and John-Jules who had the technical skill to hurt them was neutralised in a cynical way. We had no answer to it. Bowler didn't make the greatest set of decisions, but he was closest, outside of Lavery's efforts (both near post corners) to scoring or creating something.
Wintle worked hard and Dougall had a couple of decent efforts, but they looked a bit samey in midfield and if anyone was missed, I think it was Kevin Stewart who offers both a bit of muscle in midfield and a thoughtful presence.
Ultimately, we got blown away by a combination of clinical finishing, bad luck and a few mistakes. It happens like that sometimes. We looked like a young group of players who were a bit lost once it started going the wrong way. We are a young group of players.
After the high of Saturday, it was flat. The players, the crowd, everything just felt a bit humdrum. It didn't have that crackle of something special for whatever reason. We can say what we could, should or would have done but it won't change anything. We've been given a lesson and the lesson is possibly, trying to play football doesn't always win the match. Shit happens. Get behind them. They'll surprise and delight us again sometime soon.
utmp.
Once they got a goal, they had a bit more about them, but the big difference for me was their physicality. They levered Yates and Lavery away from danger with ease, Jerry especially so and John-Jules who had the technical skill to hurt them was neutralised in a cynical way. We had no answer to it. Bowler didn't make the greatest set of decisions, but he was closest, outside of Lavery's efforts (both near post corners) to scoring or creating something.
Wintle worked hard and Dougall had a couple of decent efforts, but they looked a bit samey in midfield and if anyone was missed, I think it was Kevin Stewart who offers both a bit of muscle in midfield and a thoughtful presence.
Ultimately, we got blown away by a combination of clinical finishing, bad luck and a few mistakes. It happens like that sometimes. We looked like a young group of players who were a bit lost once it started going the wrong way. We are a young group of players.
After the high of Saturday, it was flat. The players, the crowd, everything just felt a bit humdrum. It didn't have that crackle of something special for whatever reason. We can say what we could, should or would have done but it won't change anything. We've been given a lesson and the lesson is possibly, trying to play football doesn't always win the match. Shit happens. Get behind them. They'll surprise and delight us again sometime soon.
utmp.
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