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The highlight of the drive across is a sign lashed to a lampost that says "stop giant mushroom farm domination" I can only wonder... Problems with mushrooms? Let's leave it there...
When we get there, we mooch about Southport's back streets for a bit and I see a building that takes my breath away, all crumbling red brick and victorian splendour and then a really rusty van marooned on the drive of a rather nice house. The tires have rotted where it sits and another, equally as dilapidated car is squashed beyond it on the otherwise neat and highly middle class street. In other news, Southport seems to have more 1970s style launderettes than the 1970s itself but none of the shops sell bacon fries which the lad has a not to be satisfied craving for.
We walk up to Haigh Avenue and just as we get to the point where it would take longer to walk back to the car than carry on, the heavens open. Srsly. It rained like fuck. We try to get into a pub just beyond the ground, but it's closed. Myself and another wet person wonder why, but neither of us can fathom the reason. It all feels a bit like a metaphor. Standing in the rain, wondering why a door is closed and yet the lights are on inside. It's all gone a bit Franz Kafka all of a sudden hasn't it...?
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| If this doesn't move your soul, you are actually dead inside |
Haig Avenue is lovely. Its heritage as a league ground is apparent and as my personal enemies Wigan replaced them, I feel a certain sympathy for the Sandgrounders, cast out into the non league wilderness to let a Rugby League team in instead.
Once inside, we shelter inside one of the unused turnstiles for a good 25 minutes. It's really that wet. My lad has never had the joyful fun fun fun open terrace in the rain experience before, so I consider this a major milestone in his life. A point he'll look back on with wistful nostalgia in his later years. I look at him. He seems a bit underwhelmed if I'm honest. He'll learn.
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The first half is mostly memorable for the brilliance of a really wet corner of the pitch . It means the Mighty don't really bother attacking down the left as it's just about physical impossible. The goal does comes from that side though. CJ falls over quite spectacularly, gets up, and in the next bit of play, gets the ball back, pops it square to once headless and now ace Demi who swivels and tucks it away.
I can't remember that many other chances. Antwi has a nice shot from distance. He looks quite strong in the flesh and spreads play well at times. He shows a lot for the ball too. Southport play quite well, most of their attacks are down their left, against Jack Moore who looks decent enough and puts a few nice balls down the line, seems happy enough to receive the ball and slides in with enthusiasm on a couple of occasions.
I was pleased to see Marvin seemed quite composed, Jerry looked like Jerry and to my relief, wasn't toting a beer belly, Grant Ward was perfectly Grant Ward-esque and so on. Other may disagree, but I like watching Thorniley. He's so determined to be a libero and yet he has the physical mannerism of a Sunday league player, all shoulders and heavy breaths.
The new lad Reece James looked quite tidy with the ball in attacking play, but seemed a little hesitant in the challenge once or twice. To be fair, getting injured for the cause against Southport isn't really a good idea so we'll assume he's a football genius for now.. Brad Holmes looked promising, his link play was very aware on several occasions and he used his strength well to win the ball in the air. He had one effort I remember, that whistled a few yards over the top after a decent run through on goal where he held off the defenders nicely.
Half time and anticipation is building in the stands... It's practically fever pitch... It's the chance we've all been waiting for... It's the first physical sighting of Ollie 'what position does he actually play?' Sarkic, a man whose playing style I would best describe as 'like a really, really, really faded photocopy of GTF.'
Critch plays in goals for the warm up of the new XI but he doesn't put much effort in if I'm honest. I bet Mikey G would have been diving all over the place if he'd been allowed to put some gloves on. Maybe he's been sent to the dressing room bogs to practice staring like Colin?
Wor Ollie looks keen to impress, so much so that at the end of the warm up, he goes to slam the ball into the top corner of the now Critchless net, but puts it over the bar and over the terrace behind, where it skips off a kitchen extension roof and into some lucky soul's back yard.
Second half and Pool look really good until Stewart goes off. It's almost certainly just a precaution but I think he really needs to take over the 'fragile' moniker from not so fragile any more Luke. Garbutt is really, really good at crossing. We knew this, but somehow, in the intimate surrounding of this ground, it's more apparent than ever. Keshi looks absolutely brilliant, at his mischievous best for ten minutes but is nullified a bit when we go down to ten men and therefore can't overload as much.
Lavery has a lot of Yates about him, but he seems a bit more of a sniffer than Jerry. He's unlucky not to turn a near post cross home with a deft touch. Physically, he's a little stocky fella, but, I don't know if it's just me, whilst he doesn't play at all like him, (he's all bustling and running angles,) his posture, his build and his hair remind me of Charlie. He gets the second goal, a tidy finish from good work on the left from the player I'm predicting to be this year's marmite player, Josh Bowler.
The ex Everton lad (that really doesn't narrow it down tbf) is all about the dribbling. He fucking loves to dribble. There's a nagging doubt in my mind that he can't do anything else and he's all one foot, but he does look good. Fans of Tom Ince and Martin Bullock will like him a lot. Others may find themselves going 'Bowler, fucking pass it, for fuck's sake!!' then turning to the person next to them and muttering 'he just doesn't pass. He doesn't pass it' as if they can't believe that he's done it again. I think I liked him.
What of the others? I also liked Sonny. He played a lot deeper than I imagined and looked really composed. There was the odd moment where he slipped up, but he saw a lot of the ball and I thought he looked a bit Grant Ward like, which wasn't what I expected at all. His close control and use of the ball in tight situations was very good, he read play nicely for the most part and linked with others with ease. He had a driving run and a good firm shot as well. Sadly Ollie Sarkic couldn't turn the rebound home, because that's what we all came to see after all! Sarkic does ok when he comes deeper, but he still looks a bit out of place. He gifts Southport a chance on the edge of the box as he's not great in the tackle, but equally, he's very alert to the pass and play several really canny balls that others might not. I still don't really know what he is.
The new keeper had one fumble, but otherwise looked really impressive. He was decisive and in control of himself and I think he looks a step above Fotofit and Simms for sure and if I'm honest, on the two halves, I felt much better with him than Moore. Maybe that's just bias, based on their respective career trajectories. Connolly largely escaped my notice. He seemed, as you'd expect, to be a competent footballer. As for Casey, a lad near to me said 'he looks just like Cathcart' and once he'd said it, I found it hard to disagree. In a way, like Cathcart, he looks a bit skinny to be centre half. There's the same rangy, slightly gangly style and the same obvious bit of class.
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The sun shone and it was lovely on the terrace in the second half. Pool were stymied a bit by going down to ten, which was a shame as the 11 were looking like they were getting into a groove. After a season like last year, which in terms of live matches, boiled down to two incredibly emotive and intense games for me, it was just nice to watch a game that didn't really matter that much, in the sunshine, with a hum of chatter around me.
It was normal and normal feels nice. There'll doubtless be the normal over excitement and the normal prophecies of doom. These players will be hyped as 'fucking amazing' and declared 'not nearly good enough' and everything in between. Ultimately, it was a run out and to be honest, it was hard to really tell much from a game where we strolled about, barely in 2nd gear. I enjoyed it.
Now for tomorrow...
utmp
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