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| At least the picture is cheery. |
I've kind of got a minor beef with Ipswich. Last year, they came to Bloomfield and obligingly lost, a brilliant Chris Maxwell save and a Super Joe Nuttall goal in the dying seconds contributing to a fantastic finale. During the game I observed their fans had an unusual chant, where they shouted a letter at a time. I couldn't make out what they were actually spelling, but despite me asking several times on twitter no Ipswich fan replied with an answer. Thus, I feel as a club, they are haughty and aloof and I hope we give them a good hiding.
This week Covid world bore a surreal crossover on Twitter this week. I noticed a conversation between the writer of Danger Mouse and the former Everton and England midfielder Peter Reid wherein the latter was consoling the former about the lack of work in the current climate and offering morale support. What next for this year? Will I stumble upon former Middlesbrough forward Bernie Slaven trying to convince the woman who played Grotbags not to give up on acting? Maybe Ian Culverhouse counselling Damien Hirst about his fall from his position as UK art's leading enfant terrible? Who the fuck knows... Not I.
What I do know is that the GOAL MACHINE IS PLAYING! (sound the trumpets!) and Yates is on the left. It might not work, but equally, it just might. We've looked very attractive at times but only in a few periods have we looked genuinely dangerous and I'm convinced that both Madine's nous and Yates in what appears to me to be his best role offers a double bonus. The midfield is the same but at the back Garbutt and Gabriel start - so far so good, but Big Marvin returns with Ollie Turton alongside him. Weird when Thorniley looked assured against Accy.
I try to work this out and assume that Critch wants someone in the middle who can bring the ball out a bit and pass. Worth a try I suppose. What is evident is that 3 of 4 of the back four are comfortable with the ball so it might aide the way we try to build from the back. However the game goes, I'm encouraged by Critch using his resources and shuffling the pack a bit. He needs time, he needs patience, but just seeing the same side, week after week playing exactly the same way won't breed confidence if it's not working and I'm glad to discover that there's enough pragmatism alongside the purist philosophy to recognise Madine is worth a game, especially when it's palpably not working as it should up front.
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It's very windy. Madine starts with nice chest control but can't cut inside. A diagonal from Robson puts Hamilton in a good position but the ball bounces and skips over his head. Yates charges and the Ipswich clearance is poor under pressure only reaching Robson who controls and threads it up the middle to Madine. The big man jinks and shapes to shoot, crashing it goalwards but the defence charge it down.
Pool are on top early on. Madine plays a lovely lofted pass to Yates who has the defence stretching to deny him. Turton finds Yates with a terrific length of the pitch ball but he's offside.
A short corner is worked short, Garbutt on the end of the third pass, appearing from deep so has loads of time but he can only hit row S in the south stand.
Ipswich score with their first shot. Gabriel is beaten for pace, by Edwards who chips a cross over everyone. It bounces level with the far post, about 15 yards out and sits up perfectly for the player advancing from deep to smash home. Everyone is occupied with the more obvious threats at the near post and it's unstoppable.
For fucks sake. We've looked comfortable and controlled the game but we're losing after one attack.
CJ wins a loose ball that pops for Madine, who doesn't fancy the 50/50 and Ipswich are down the other end like lightning, winning a corner. It's swung into Maxwells hands, he bowls it out quickly, Hamilton squares it, Robson sprays it, Pool are free on the right, the cross is to the near post, Yates twists his neck and turns it to goal but is denied by some part of a defender and the ball flies over. Two lightning breaks in a row and it's good to see Pool not falling to pieces and getting back at them quickly.
Twice long balls to Hamilton cause concern but neither yield a real chance. Garbutt is looking a good player, but perhaps still a little rusty at times, which is understandable given his lack of preseason. He delivers a lovely cross, then a delightful curling free kick within 60 seconds of each other.
Gabriel throws long, Madine leaps and doesn't quite reach, Yates bundles it back to Keshi who half volleys over. Ward and Hamilton combine and CJ is wide and with time to pick the right ball. He pulls back to Ward but the ball is behind him and though Ward controls and shoots into a defender, Madine is left with arms wide as a simple touch off would have given Madine a chance to shoot with space and time from about 12 yards out.
Ipswich's second comes again on the right, Gabriel again beaten, but this time making a strong challenge as Ipswich drive hard on the right. The ball only bounces back to a blue shirt and a low shot from Edwards goes right through Maxwell who looked to be in the perfect place to stop it. 2-0 down from what I make 3 Ipswich attacks. I literally mean attacks as well, not chances.
Now we're really in trouble. Ipswich have shown nothing much apart from the ability to shephard our forwards away from goal and to counter attack effectively. Now that's all they have to do. I look at the bench and I'm not sure I really know who would especially change it up outside of Mitchell and I don't know where I'm going to play him.
Frustration is showing as well. Robson has kicked three players, CJ is penalised for a pointless foul in the corner.
Pool try to play out. Maybe Keshi is fouled, maybe he slips but it falls perfectly for Ipswich, Bishop ties Turton in knots, unties him and ties him up again for fun then slips it into the corner for 3-0. Fucking hell and fuck off football.
Gabriel slides in with a wild challenge. I can't see us finishing with 11 men at this rate. The first half end with a pointless long ball from Ward which seems fitting.
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I'm a bit stunned. Pool looked decent enough for a while but again, they're not creating enough with the good play they have managed. Gabriel has been done twice on the left for goals and sloppy stuff led to the third. Ipswich have done nothing else, but when they've had chances they've taken them absolutely clinically.
Lets play 'You're Neil Critchley' - what the fuck do you do?' (a game I suspect will popular amongst Pool fans in the coming days) - Here's my plan - I take off Ward who is not influencing this or several previous games. I put on Williams and push up Robson who is neither Charlie Adam nor best served by playing deep and tackling. Williams can also drop back and make a 3 at the back, allowing the full backs to bomb on like mad.
Tempting as it is to blame Madine for being a boring player from last year and not a super sexy new signing and thus automatically better than anyone who was already at the club, I don't take him off cos with my full backs bombing on, Yates can get inside with him and I can't see anyone else who might score on the bench.
"Just fucking go for it, all of you - forget passing triangles and game management, go and attack like fuck for 25 minutes. Don't come back until you've won it" is my team talk.
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Second half beings with Mike Garrity clapping on the touch line. Now is the time to mention his hair that I wonder if he's too old for, that makes him look like a youth club manager or some fella who owns a clothes shop that's probably going to go out of business. I reckon he likes Lambretta scooters. Nothing wrong with that, it's just his vibe.
We do go for it a bit, Madine gets on the end of a long throw, Yates practically has a fight on the left touchline to win the ball, we scrap a bit more, Madine wins a fick, then another. Hamilton sees a chance to shoot but slides the ball to the back of Yate's ankles instead. Madine wins yet another flick and Hamilton is away but he's chopped down. Madine goes down in the box, but the ref is contemptuous (a theme that will continue)
I miss being there. I want to shout stuff like 'For fucks sake Ward, stop taking two touches before doing anything, run or pass for fucks sake, not turn round in circles and pass to Turton' - To be fair to reality (which this game is a massive dose of) - I'd probably just shout 'For fucks sake!' and then sit down rather than the above, but it's what I'd mean.
Gabriel 'stands one up at the far post' as Chissy would usually say (but doesn't this time) but no one is there. How long can Pool attack for before losing conviction? Gabriel again picks it up deep, beats 2 and plays a nice crossfield pass but again, a nice moment where Pool seem to have space comes to nothing as we don't seem to be able exploit space at all.
We're huffing a bit. I'm not sure we can say 'huffing AND puffing' to be honest and a change is coming. But it's an Ipswich one. Hmmm.
Gabriel slides it in, Madine's in the mix, it bounces to Yates, he scuffs it and it drops again to Madine who slides in and tackles the ball home... I'm fucking delighted and I scare the cat and the other half by shouting properly for the first time since March. COME ON POOL!!! C'MON, COME THE FUCK ON.
I calm down a bit to see Ipswich fire a shot from the edge of the box just past the post.
Madine wins it again, Hamilton wrestles and fights and then is away, into the box, at the byline but then crowded out. A corner. Garbutt puts it under the bar and it's headed up and anything could happen, it's cleared and sent back in, Gabriel crashes to the ground but nothing.
Madine gives one away, but seconds later he plays a beautiful one touch pass and Ward is away, so much space and time but he only curls into the hands of the keeper and I do actually mutter 'fucking hell.' The cat and the other half have gone now though.
Another Ipswich sub. We're doing ok, it's a bit better. There's been some puff to match the huff but surely fresh legs soon as we're hitting a wall when we come forward. We're trying but we're not clinical.
We make some space by passing it around as is our wont. What will we do? Keshi is running through but he wants too many touches and ends up tackling himself. That's the midfield today.
Madine turns on the edge of the box and strikes a lovely half volley that bounces just in front of the keeper but he's equal to it. Gabriel who has been outstanding going forward second half swings a great ball in, Madine chucks himself full length and is a millimetre from a brilliant striker's goal.
Anderson leaves the pitch and MJ Williams makes his contractually obliged appearance between 60 and 75 minutes where (according to the terms of his deal) he will be asked to run about and jump a bit somewhere near the ball. Maybe today will be the game he makes a difference. Robson moves forward, only 30 minutes after I'd have done it.
But who gives a fuck where anyone is playing as their right backhits a looping ball to the edge of the box, Gabriel is done by a beautiful bit of control by Edwards and maybe being under the ball a bit. Gabriel hustles, Big Marv runs across and slides but neither have any effect as Edwards smashes it home and it's 4-1 Ipswich. Lethal.
Garbutt crosses well, Yates leaps, Hamilton walks into it and it just bounces to the keeper. Not lethal.
Madine on the edge of the box shows eyes in the back of his head with back heel to Jerry Yates who is surely through but no! He goes down, surely a penalty, but no! It come comes back to Madine who strikes well, it's surely headed for the top corner but fucking hell, no! The merest of deflections has denied the Goal Machine what would have been a great strike.
By the end, Yates is walking like a defeated WW1 Soldier with trench foot and his feet wrapped in bleeding bandages and Pool have lost all hope. At least no one got sent off.
___
Tempting as it is to blame Madine for being a boring player from last year and not a super sexy new signing and thus automatically better than anyone who was already at the club, I don't take him off cos with my full backs bombing on, Yates can get inside with him and I can't see anyone else who might score on the bench.
"Just fucking go for it, all of you - forget passing triangles and game management, go and attack like fuck for 25 minutes. Don't come back until you've won it" is my team talk.
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Second half beings with Mike Garrity clapping on the touch line. Now is the time to mention his hair that I wonder if he's too old for, that makes him look like a youth club manager or some fella who owns a clothes shop that's probably going to go out of business. I reckon he likes Lambretta scooters. Nothing wrong with that, it's just his vibe.
We do go for it a bit, Madine gets on the end of a long throw, Yates practically has a fight on the left touchline to win the ball, we scrap a bit more, Madine wins a fick, then another. Hamilton sees a chance to shoot but slides the ball to the back of Yate's ankles instead. Madine wins yet another flick and Hamilton is away but he's chopped down. Madine goes down in the box, but the ref is contemptuous (a theme that will continue)
I miss being there. I want to shout stuff like 'For fucks sake Ward, stop taking two touches before doing anything, run or pass for fucks sake, not turn round in circles and pass to Turton' - To be fair to reality (which this game is a massive dose of) - I'd probably just shout 'For fucks sake!' and then sit down rather than the above, but it's what I'd mean.
Gabriel 'stands one up at the far post' as Chissy would usually say (but doesn't this time) but no one is there. How long can Pool attack for before losing conviction? Gabriel again picks it up deep, beats 2 and plays a nice crossfield pass but again, a nice moment where Pool seem to have space comes to nothing as we don't seem to be able exploit space at all.
We're huffing a bit. I'm not sure we can say 'huffing AND puffing' to be honest and a change is coming. But it's an Ipswich one. Hmmm.
Gabriel slides it in, Madine's in the mix, it bounces to Yates, he scuffs it and it drops again to Madine who slides in and tackles the ball home... I'm fucking delighted and I scare the cat and the other half by shouting properly for the first time since March. COME ON POOL!!! C'MON, COME THE FUCK ON.
I calm down a bit to see Ipswich fire a shot from the edge of the box just past the post.
Madine wins it again, Hamilton wrestles and fights and then is away, into the box, at the byline but then crowded out. A corner. Garbutt puts it under the bar and it's headed up and anything could happen, it's cleared and sent back in, Gabriel crashes to the ground but nothing.
Madine gives one away, but seconds later he plays a beautiful one touch pass and Ward is away, so much space and time but he only curls into the hands of the keeper and I do actually mutter 'fucking hell.' The cat and the other half have gone now though.
Another Ipswich sub. We're doing ok, it's a bit better. There's been some puff to match the huff but surely fresh legs soon as we're hitting a wall when we come forward. We're trying but we're not clinical.
We make some space by passing it around as is our wont. What will we do? Keshi is running through but he wants too many touches and ends up tackling himself. That's the midfield today.
Madine turns on the edge of the box and strikes a lovely half volley that bounces just in front of the keeper but he's equal to it. Gabriel who has been outstanding going forward second half swings a great ball in, Madine chucks himself full length and is a millimetre from a brilliant striker's goal.
Anderson leaves the pitch and MJ Williams makes his contractually obliged appearance between 60 and 75 minutes where (according to the terms of his deal) he will be asked to run about and jump a bit somewhere near the ball. Maybe today will be the game he makes a difference. Robson moves forward, only 30 minutes after I'd have done it.
But who gives a fuck where anyone is playing as their right backhits a looping ball to the edge of the box, Gabriel is done by a beautiful bit of control by Edwards and maybe being under the ball a bit. Gabriel hustles, Big Marv runs across and slides but neither have any effect as Edwards smashes it home and it's 4-1 Ipswich. Lethal.
Garbutt crosses well, Yates leaps, Hamilton walks into it and it just bounces to the keeper. Not lethal.
Madine on the edge of the box shows eyes in the back of his head with back heel to Jerry Yates who is surely through but no! He goes down, surely a penalty, but no! It come comes back to Madine who strikes well, it's surely headed for the top corner but fucking hell, no! The merest of deflections has denied the Goal Machine what would have been a great strike.
By the end, Yates is walking like a defeated WW1 Soldier with trench foot and his feet wrapped in bleeding bandages and Pool have lost all hope. At least no one got sent off.
___
I don't really know what to say. I don't want to be some apoplectic ranting wannabe shock jock but things aren't going well are they? Here's me trying to be calm. Everyone seems to want someone else to do the killer pass. We knock it about, but sometimes it just goes backwards or sideways when there's clearly space opening up or a player free. We're not actually putting other teams under pressure by simply 'having the ball' and we're not good enough to go through the eleven and rebuild a move every time until the other team falls apart. This is confidence. The midfield and forward players are not taking the risks they need to.
I also don't understand some of the decisions. I do not understand why a clearly knackered Garbutt stays on when Demi Mitchell has scored this years and shown himself able on the left to carry a ball in the way only really Gabriel managed today. I don't understand why Ward is still on the pitch when he's done nothing. I've nothing against Ward, I actually rate him, but he slowed play, showed no vision passing or crossing and ran into blind alleys. That happens sometimes, fine, but don't leave him on doing nothing for 90 minutes. I also don't really understand why Thorniley who was the best player in a decent defensive performance at Accy is not on the pitch from the beginning either. Maybe he thought Turts was a libero waiting to happen or felt harsh dropping him, I don't know.
Someone will probably try to explain why it's Madine's fault with some rubbish about him not doing the press or some tripe about 'needing a Bobby Firmano' because really, they're a two scarfer who has a secret dream about Anfield melding with Bloomfield or something. To me, he's done everything he can be expected to and was the best of the lot today by a margin. I slagged him off pre season for wandering about with his hands in his pockets but he's had a decent match and wasn't the problem. The big question is the anonymity of the central midfield. The full backs have put their share of decent balls in but the central 3 are just not unlocking anything. Robson is being wasted. I think at one point 'We really miss Matty Virtue' and much as I like Virtue, that really does seem desperate.
I also don't understand some of the decisions. I do not understand why a clearly knackered Garbutt stays on when Demi Mitchell has scored this years and shown himself able on the left to carry a ball in the way only really Gabriel managed today. I don't understand why Ward is still on the pitch when he's done nothing. I've nothing against Ward, I actually rate him, but he slowed play, showed no vision passing or crossing and ran into blind alleys. That happens sometimes, fine, but don't leave him on doing nothing for 90 minutes. I also don't really understand why Thorniley who was the best player in a decent defensive performance at Accy is not on the pitch from the beginning either. Maybe he thought Turts was a libero waiting to happen or felt harsh dropping him, I don't know.
Someone will probably try to explain why it's Madine's fault with some rubbish about him not doing the press or some tripe about 'needing a Bobby Firmano' because really, they're a two scarfer who has a secret dream about Anfield melding with Bloomfield or something. To me, he's done everything he can be expected to and was the best of the lot today by a margin. I slagged him off pre season for wandering about with his hands in his pockets but he's had a decent match and wasn't the problem. The big question is the anonymity of the central midfield. The full backs have put their share of decent balls in but the central 3 are just not unlocking anything. Robson is being wasted. I think at one point 'We really miss Matty Virtue' and much as I like Virtue, that really does seem desperate.
Lambert doesn't even bother to look chuffed as he walks out at the end. He looks like Critchley would if you made a macho action figure version of him. All grey hair and puffer jacket, pumped up with satisfaction and pride in a job done well. I don't give a fuck about their stupid song with one letter at a time now. They twatted us and didn't really seem to have to try all that hard.
Fuck's sake Pool. Sort it out. What else have we got in this shite year of shite years?
Next week. It'll click next week. Maybe they just need a right good bollocking, maybe they need to just go for it, maybe they need some of the new players to get match fit and some of the injured ones to return. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
C'mon Pool. You're better than this.
utmp
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Fuck's sake Pool. Sort it out. What else have we got in this shite year of shite years?
Next week. It'll click next week. Maybe they just need a right good bollocking, maybe they need to just go for it, maybe they need some of the new players to get match fit and some of the injured ones to return. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
C'mon Pool. You're better than this.
utmp
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