I see Newcastle are about to be taken over by Jeff Bezos. Or the Shah of Iran, or Lockheed and Martin from off of Lockheed Martin. Or a syndicate consisting of Charles 'Charlie' Manson and Dr Harold 'Doc' Shipman fronted by Raul 'Moaty' Moat. One of them. Or someone else. I don't know.
What has certainly happened is an unedifying twitter pile on and general hand wringing in which some people have waved copies of The Guardian, spat out their home grown muesli and hand pressed hemp milk whilst shouting 'but what about the children!' and others, probably wielding a copy of 'Imperialist Crypto Fascist Death Machine Today!' have said 'don't give a fuck m8, up the Toon!'
This then prompts such august organs as 'Talksport' to get journalistic heavyweights to ask renowned social commentators and experts on global finance like former Gillingham manager Andy Hesenthaler and Karen from Market Harborough what they think - which in turn elicits the enlightening response of 'well, it's a money game now isn't it?' and 'well, I don't really look at such things, it's what happens on the pitch that matters, for me and that's how any chairman should be judged'
In amongst all this, is the idea that Newcastle fans should be gripped by righteous anger and marching up the hill to St James Park, shouting 'fuck these restrictions on movement, we want an ethical club and we want it now!'
Which is a nice idea.
Perhaps Newcastle could reject the overtones of the Saudi billionaires and get a cuddly, morally pure, positive company involved? Like Dove! Or maybe one of those hopeful but usually hopeless fairy cake start up companies with a shite mission statement that is nowt to do with cakes and mentions love? One that doesn't use palm oil obviously. Perhaps they could do a just giving whip round? Maybe they could get local artists to make some thinks out of recycled material, stuff washed up on the shores of the Tyne and auction them off? Perhaps they could have a stall at Glaston 'Glasters' bury when this is all over, funding the club through tofu, dream catchers and second hand clothing?
There's two things to think about.
1) Football clubs exist to win games. That has always been 'the point' of football, from the moment Sheffield FC were formed and no doubt long before when it was about kicking a pigs bladder through a village in what was little more than a brawl. Yes, the game is ALSO about community, a sense of occasion, taking part, teamwork, local identity, ritual, catharsis, communality and many other things, but at its heart, what makes it a thrilling and visceral experience is the fact two teams are trying to beat each other. Without that, it'd be Morris dancing.
2) The way the game is organised makes it all but impossible to imagine that you can win and retain some kind of ethical (or probably better, morally neutral) standpoint. The top sides, those that contain what is often called 'the winning mentality* cost billions to assemble and maintain. The wealth behind the top few Premier League sides is astonishing...
*code in these wonderfully commercial times for 'having bought the best players'
Fenway Sports Group - £6.6 billion
Abu Dhabi United Group - £22 billion
King Power International Group - £5.9 billion
The above represents the wealth behind the top 3 sides in the table as of this moment. It doesn't include the many other multi-billionaires or the astonishing £99 billion worth of the group behind Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Here's a fact. The worth of the Premier League owners at this point equates to a sum, roughly in line with the entire GDP of Scotland. That's a useless fact, but it's an interesting point for scale.
The bit after the numbers where there's more words
Not so very long ago, in a land not far way called 'the past' clubs could be run by local business people. Walker Steel and the Blackburn title win are forever linked. John Hall from off of 'building the Metro Centre) and Newcastle United's European adventures, near misses with title and brilliant 'I'd love it' meltdowns go hand in hand.
What is truly mind melting when viewed through jaded the jaded prism of today, is, at the time, people felt those people were distorting the competition. The likes of Jack Walker were seen as an ugly breed of money men, flashing their cash and buying success. Lower down the pyramid, Dave Whelen was buying Wigan through the leagues and regaling anyone who'd listen with tales of his broken leg.
Yet now we're nostalgic for the the ruddy faced local men made good. The type who 'didn't get where they are today by...' The sort who probably have a framed note from Mrs Thatcher in their study and, over a whisky, will entertain their audience with tales of their own moral rectitude and how 'being poor never stopped me, it's just about having a bit of get up and go.' We actively miss the combovers and the crisp white shirts with fat club ties draped over their stomachs. The friendly bottom pinching of the waitress in corporate hospitality who is called 'love' and 'sweetheart.' We pine for the days when a good old fashioned, proper English fella, who'd made his money in an honest way, (like paying people less than minimum wage to work in his sports shops) could run our football clubs.
John Hall left Newcastle because his money was no longer enough. He sold to Mike Ashley (a very rich man) who is 100% a twat, but in some ways has run Newcastle within their means. (This excellent link from 'The Mag' details some of the other ways Ashley hasn't had the good of the club and fans at heart)
Dave Whelen ran out of money to keep bankrolling Wigan and they've been slowly deflating ever since, the inflation of faux local excitement (Half of Wigan's 'fans' only turned up in numbers to watch the opposition) dissipating by the season as they bob between the 2nd and 3rd tier in their over sized, drafty lego ground built on the sewage works...
Delia 'Letsby Avenue' Smith is the last woman standing. Can Norwich win owt or even hope to stay very long in the Premier League...? Can they fuck...
Newcastle fans are between a rock and a hard place. They've not won anything for years. They can't even hope to compete to win anything without new ownership. That, by definition, undermines the point of being a fan of the club. Yes, community, yes local pride, yes to all of that, but that's based on joy of watching the team competing, trying to win.
Before John Hall, a club 'living within it's means' stagnated and decayed in the second tier. The rich local boy took them close, but his means were soon outshone by the global wealth coming in. The next backer had the money, but wasn't interested in spending it, seeing football as a way to make it.
Where are they supposed to go now? There are no local people with multi, multi billions made from selling bottles of Newcy Brown or making rivets for the shipyard interested.
The last side to break into the 'elite' were Leicester City. It would cost each of the Newcastle season ticket holders (approx 30,000) around £200,000 each to raise the kind of money that Leicester's owners have at their disposal (£5.9bn). The average wage in Newcastle is £26,000.
Ask yourself - where are the ethical multi billionaires? If we google the Forbes rich list, how many of the elite are blameless? How many of them aren't exploiters, or don't have their hands in murderous supply chains or planet corroding practices? How many of them would you call 'really good, down to earth, trustworthy people whom you'd wish to entrust with the concept of community and togetherness?'
Are Newcastle fans just supposed to give up on wanting to win football matches? Fan power, local money, ain't enough, not by a long, long, long chalk. No amount of 'sustainability' or 'cutting cloth' will compete. The point is to compete. This is your club, it's my club, it's every club, from the top to the bottom, not just the top 6 or 8. It's literally the point of football.
I couldn't care less about the 'Toon Army' but instead of getting pseudo satisfaction from a dead game by riling Geordies or expecting them to stand up against the crossing of some kind of arbitrary line drawn in the sand by the weak minded liberal moral guardianship of the 'concerned' - for whom some wealth is OK as long is the blood stains are hidden behind a veil of respectability - stand against the money itself. Liberate the game from the grasping claws of business and return it to the hands of the masses. Why? Not because it wins 'right on' political points, but because it MAKES THE GAME BETTER.
Without that realisation by masses of fans, of all different clubs, then the Saudi billions will still flow and more to the point, the game will just move further and further from what it is - people gathering, singing, having a beer, meeting their mates, having a laugh, communality, community, forgetting the mundane, to watch a group of lads, try to beat another group of lads. Some seasons should be good, some should be bad and some in between. Some teams are lucky, some aren't, some teams build great sides and some don't. Not simply 'who can bulldozers their way financially to the top'
It should be a simple enough process to facilitate people turning up at a ground that isn't a death trap, watching players on fair wages, competing on a level playing field, both literally and metaphorically - but we've let the game be turned into a global branding exercise and a playground for billionaires to flex their muscles.
That isn't the fault of Newcastle fans and nor will expecting them to exercise some kind of moral campaign on behalf of the rest of football go any way towards exorcising the game of the corrupting influence of massive concentrations of wealth unless everyone else does it to about their own teams and most tellingly, about the total lack of guardianship of the sporting integrity of football.
Don't simpy fuck the Saudi money. Fuck the lot of it, for the good of the game. It'd be a lot more fun.
UTMP
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